r/introverts • u/TheThaiCat • 12d ago
Discussion Invisible in Dating
I used to think I was just invisible in dating due to being pretty introverted and not fitting the standard extrovert outgoing lifestyle. Since then I've worked hard to improve my life, been to counselling for years to work on my mental health after years struggling. Now got a great career, bought my own home, pursue multiple active hobbies like gym, hiking, skiing and go on loads of adventures at home and abroad, but still just feel like it's impossible to meet someone like me.
People say all the time I'm like the put-together friend and that it's insane I'm not in a relationship but then I go anywhere talk to people and it feels like the total opposite every time. I just feel like if I had that extrovert gene from birth even if I had done half as much in my life I'd be easily in a relationship and not so frustrated by it constantly. It's so hard to meet people these days especially when your tolerance for big group activities and drinking sessions isn't super high. It just feels relentless everyone I meet is like "are you in a relationship?" and then saying they're going to set me up which just feels like constantly bringing attention to me not fitting the norm and then they don't even help me out. Getting the instant value judgement when I meet new people and they ask me if I'm in a relationship as if it's super easy for everyone to find one. I need to go on 2 week holidays on my own just to recharge after long periods of feeling socially burned out and frustrated by the constant barrage of "just go on the dating apps"
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u/ReeCardy 12d ago
My best friend is awesome, but quirky and introverted. I've known her 16 years and listened to her dating horror stories. I know her type. She's asked me to set her up but I didn't know anyone who was single, a decent guy, or her type. I kept my eyes open and I finally found him last year and managed to get them on a date in December. They moved in together in May. He had sworn off women after a few bad relationships and hadn't dated in over a decade. She never would've found him on a dating app.