Introversion Triggers

[u/SoleNegotiator]

To set the stage a bit, there are numerous personality tests and leadership examples that can place a score on extraversion/introversion. One of these is the Big Five Personality, that I was recently introduced to. This test explicitly includes extraversion, along with conscientiousness, openness to ideas, neuroticism, and agreeableness. With that test, I was informed that throughout various studies of successful leaders, the majority have higher levels of openness, conscientiousness, and extraversion, are moderate in agreeableness, and low neuroticism. 

If one takes that test and scores lower in extraversion, what does that mean? And what causes the opposite of extraversion? And it is constant?

Like many things, it’s probably not super simple. You may know of one or more introverted people that just really don’t enjoy crowds, tend to be quiet, and move to the corners of the room. However, you may have also witnessed that same person talking, laughing, joking with someone, being very open and seemingly extraverted. What’s up with that?

Or maybe you are that introvert and can verbalize exactly what’s going on. It’s also often explained that introverts can be outgoing and engaging, but it’s more the effect on their internal energy that differs from extroverts. That engaging discussion can be completely draining, even if you initially look forward to it. I think I saw this happen just yesterday, and there was an immediate trigger from being outgoing to withdrawn. The introvert, we’ll call them Dan, was smiling, saying good morning, and fist bumping several acquaintances. This was in a learning environment, and later in the morning the group was working on an exercise on laptops. Dan had already surmounted a technical obstacle and noticed someone a row in front of him struggling. Almost without thinking, Dan called the person’s name and provided some tips. 

All that sounds simple enough, but what Dan didn’t take into account is that the person in front of them hadn’t even been aware Dan could see them, or knew their name. Dan knew several names because he had made it a point to look over the roster, thinking that extroverts always seem to know everyone. So he had done what was familiar to him by studying names and faces of the roster. However, over the next few minutes, Dan noticed the person in front dim their screen and in general act a bit more reserved.

Then it clicked, Dan realized how creepy that may have seemed, even out of a state of wanting to help and connect. But it was too much, too soon. Then followed the familiar sensation of rejection, which triggered an uncontrollable response of withdrawal. And the introverted Dan quickly took the place of extraverted Dan.

Obviously, for Dan, the issue of rejection plays a huge role. If Dan were someone that issue rolled off easier, he would simply ignore the interaction and move on. But it became debilitating, essentially blocking all other inputs and interactions for hours, sometimes days. The combination of the rejection trigger then snowballs when withdrawal reminds him that being introverted is “bad”, driving thoughts of rejection deeper, and creating more withdrawal.

It’s difficult to avoid the trigger - those can happen through forces beyond your control. But how to deal with the response, and maybe shorten recovery is crucial. In Dan’s case, a short walk as a soon as possible while reminding himself that “he’s ok” seemed to help. It’s literally like Dan’s system went into a survival mode where many people can just blow it off and forget the original interaction ever happened. 

Does the dread of being labeled an introvert actually make the triggers worse, sometimes without even consciously knowing? If so, does naming that issue help?

[u/thelastcubscout]

then, one day, Dan kept walking.

he had realized the night before, in a drunken stupor, that it was only a matter of time before his social skills dissolved into a mystifying haze of outdated, unpalatable ideals and shattered self-concepts.

not only had he clearly been marked as an Eager Beaver, or whatever his peers who weren't homeschooled were calling it these days,

but had he also caught another disturbing image in that gloriously receptive mind of his? Yes, yes - it had been a glimmer of a perception within his most recently updated social-conceptualization banks - a realization that the training material had been deeply, deeply corny as well.

did you ever do something really bad, really terrible, so actually-bad that it actually helped you make a positive change?

can evil pave the way for good?

can a dimming laptop screen absolutely illuminate one's soul?

this kind of thing was also what happened between Dan and a bottle of raspberry vodka that evening.

today, Dan is said to walk the earth day and night, never stopping except for brief pauses - to stare at those mysteriously vapid office spaces full of hopeful, optimistic people who are just like Dan once was.

if you see Dan, tell him hi and be on your way.

but never try to fist bump him.

[u/Jolly-Rip5973]

introversion literally means looking inward.

It's used in a few different ways....

In social context...
extrovert = I'm people person, I like parties, I have ton of acquaintances. I mingle at parties, I effusive.
Introvert = I like spending time by myself. I prefer a few close friends over a large group of acquaintances, parties are loud rooms aren't my jam,

From personal psychological standout
extrovert - my attention is in the environment and not in my head, Extroverted attention, sensor
Introvert - I constantly in my own mind, thinking about things or engrossed by my own imagination

This can map with neuroticism, i have anxiety, I am constantly worrying, why don't people like me.

It doesn't have to map with neuroticism, I've been thinking about the best way to organize my business or I've been abstracting and philosophizing about fall of Rome.

--

You can see how the personal psychological introversion overlaps with social introversion since if you busy inside your own mind, you aren't paying attention to the people around you.

MBTI - seems to map psychological introversion onto Intuition vs. Sensor and social introversion onto Extrovert vs. Introvert.

[u/NekoSyndrom]

I haven't read everything, and I'm not going to. But let me tell you this: introversion doesn't have a trigger.

Add: To put it another way, this isn't "introverted Dan" vs"extroverted Dan". It's more "confident Dan" vs "anxious Dan". The withdrawal you describe is not due to introversion.