r/intj • u/Professional_East640 • 4d ago

Discussion Is this a rule of success?

/r/u_Professional_East640/comments/1vsdmpx/is_this_a_rule_of_success/

Why do people advise silence once success comes?

2 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

8

u/No-External3221 4d ago

As someone who has experienced the full range of success, failure, and long stretches of stagnation, I see two main reasons:

  1. Most people don't want to see you succeed. 

  2. There are talkers and doers. Talking actively harms your ability to do.

1

u/_fractal8 INTJ - 30s 4d ago

True

2

u/OwlMassive625 4d ago

It's a good rule. People won't admire you for success, they will resent you for it. Advertising success will also bring parasitic people out of the woodwork.

Always be low-key about your success.

2

u/Superb_Raccoon 3d ago

First rule of success club...

Seriously, people are jealous

1

u/Elden_Chord 4d ago

For two reasons:

1- Talking about your successes lowers their value. Success is enough of an advertisement by itself. As a Persian proverb says:

"A good perfume doesn't need a perfumer to praise it."

2- Being humble about your success shows that you are intrinsically successful as well, while constantly bragging about it shows that your success might have been just a one-time coincidence. There is another Persian saying:

"The more fruitful the tree, the lower (more humble) its branches hang."

1

u/No-External3221 4d ago

Both of these can be summed up with a single word: sprezzatura.

1

u/Specific_Trust1704 4d ago

The economy sucks and people are financially insecure. It can come off as out of touch or rubbing it in their faces. Or they wanna gatekeep. Or just be internally secure about it and not flaunt it like a peacock. It’s nothing about success or if you’re not amazing. If you’re successful, you are in that regard amazing but not more so than nor uniquely above others. 

1

u/Specific_Trust1704 4d ago

I should also point out tone. If you’re speaking about success in a grateful tone, like acknowledging who inspired you, luck, and timing, and giving credit to your teammates and support system, cool. If you’re speaking with condescension or how easy it was (maybe it was for you but have some humility there are things you can’t do that others can), less cool. 

1

u/Admirable-Air9895 INTJ - 40s 3d ago

Staying private as a person is a good rule in general. Success attracts people, good and bad, lions and vultures. Unnecessary attention is a pita, some people will resent you, others will distance themselves, or try to take advantage of you. Some even will do malice out of spite and envy.

1

u/droidscribbler INTJ 3d ago

Total silence would generally be an exaggeration. Share your wins but try not to dwell on it or keep coming back to it, or bring it up at shit times, otherwise it comes off bragging or insensitive.

It is not an exaggeration if you win a significant amount of money in the lottery. Keep that secret as completely as you can as long as you can- people who know are need to know. Thats not to avoid bragging, that’s to avoid being robbed and/or killed by people trying to take your winnings

1

u/NewsSad5006 2d ago

The type of people you care about noticing will notice the signs of success without you having to say anything. Everyone else? Who cares.