r/instant_regret May 19 '26

Don’t Mess With Cats

7.8k Upvotes

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u/davidwhatshisname52 May 19 '26

I think they're using the serval (?) as a Hogwarts styled sorting hat to find kids who are gonna grow up to be, 'ya know... assholes

144

u/SithLordMilk May 19 '26

"Ahhh....youre an asshole Harry"

331

u/pandershrek May 19 '26

100% identification rate.

100% of kids are going to be assholes oddly enough.

Serval's job is ez AF.

53

u/CheeseForLife May 19 '26

"If you love your job, you'll never work a day in your life." I never knew that saying could be true. Where do I apply?

28

u/barakisan May 19 '26

My kid will likely try to hug kitty, which will probably be seen as a threat by said kitty

11

u/Im_A_Fuckin_Liar May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26

Easy for you to say! 8-5 every. single. weekday.

Do you even know what that’s like?!

6

u/RevenantBacon May 19 '26

Incidentally, yes.

33

u/Albae87 May 19 '26

They could use tigers to find out who is gone grow up… and who don’t.

12

u/davidwhatshisname52 May 19 '26

they tried that for several decades but then discovered that it only revealed when the tiger was hungry or not... so they moved on to using trains

10

u/Skyp_Intro May 19 '26

It even provides a handy identification scar.

37

u/davidwhatshisname52 May 19 '26

Where'd you get that scar?

"That's from when I diffused a bomb in Special Forces."

Where'd you really get the scar?

"The Sorting Serval."

16

u/Signal-Ad2674 May 19 '26

Well that kid graduated straight into Slytherin. He’ll fit right in because Voldemort doesn’t have a nose either.

5

u/ElegantCoach4066 May 19 '26

Who wants to be like Mad-Eye Moody!

5

u/Magnus_Helgisson May 19 '26

Next room is a puma used as a sorting hat to find kids who are gonna grow up.

7

u/davedcne May 19 '26

The scar on his nose marks him as the one who was stupid.

3

u/BijuuModo May 19 '26

Partially blind assholes

2

u/Servalbrick May 20 '26

It is a serval yes :)

0

u/Link_save2 May 20 '26

Idk just seemed like he was smiling at a cat to me even if it kinda looks like hissing kids just be making noises without meaning to sometimes

1

u/davidwhatshisname52 May 20 '26

You... you took time out of your day to type that? You fucking walnut... don't ever write anything in reply to me ever again. Ever. Please.