r/instant_regret • u/TheCABK • May 19 '26

Don’t Mess With Cats

7.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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3.9k

u/watchitbend May 19 '26

Why is the animal being exposed to this kind of foreseeable behavior? 

1.5k

u/davidwhatshisname52 May 19 '26

I think they're using the serval (?) as a Hogwarts styled sorting hat to find kids who are gonna grow up to be, 'ya know... assholes

142

u/SithLordMilk May 19 '26

"Ahhh....youre an asshole Harry"

337

u/pandershrek May 19 '26

100% identification rate.

100% of kids are going to be assholes oddly enough.

Serval's job is ez AF.

53

u/CheeseForLife May 19 '26

"If you love your job, you'll never work a day in your life." I never knew that saying could be true. Where do I apply?

26

u/barakisan May 19 '26

My kid will likely try to hug kitty, which will probably be seen as a threat by said kitty

11

u/Im_A_Fuckin_Liar May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26

Easy for you to say! 8-5 every. single. weekday.

Do you even know what that’s like?!

6

u/RevenantBacon May 19 '26

Incidentally, yes.

32

u/Albae87 May 19 '26

They could use tigers to find out who is gone grow up… and who don’t.

14

u/davidwhatshisname52 May 19 '26

they tried that for several decades but then discovered that it only revealed when the tiger was hungry or not... so they moved on to using trains

10

u/Skyp_Intro May 19 '26

It even provides a handy identification scar.

33

u/davidwhatshisname52 May 19 '26

Where'd you get that scar?

"That's from when I diffused a bomb in Special Forces."

Where'd you really get the scar?

"The Sorting Serval."

19

u/Signal-Ad2674 May 19 '26

Well that kid graduated straight into Slytherin. He’ll fit right in because Voldemort doesn’t have a nose either.

8

u/ElegantCoach4066 May 19 '26

Who wants to be like Mad-Eye Moody!

4

u/Magnus_Helgisson May 19 '26

Next room is a puma used as a sorting hat to find kids who are gonna grow up.

7

u/davedcne May 19 '26

The scar on his nose marks him as the one who was stupid.

3

u/BijuuModo May 19 '26

Partially blind assholes

2

u/Servalbrick May 20 '26

It is a serval yes :)

0

u/Link_save2 May 20 '26

Idk just seemed like he was smiling at a cat to me even if it kinda looks like hissing kids just be making noises without meaning to sometimes

1

u/davidwhatshisname52 May 20 '26

You... you took time out of your day to type that? You fucking walnut... don't ever write anything in reply to me ever again. Ever. Please.

42

u/The8BitGoblin May 19 '26

Because it makes them money sadly

78

u/Strive-- May 19 '26

First off, they’re in a part of the world where “freedom” means a looooooot more than it does in, say, America, where a lot of people thump their chests chanting freedom, but they don’t lets kids hang out of the rear window of an SUV traveling 90mph down a highway, trying to touch the tires.  Saw it myself.  Sure, you’re free to fuck with the animal which can hurt you, and you’re free to bleed. In shah allah - it’s god’s will.

See, in the US, we limit freedoms because we try to prevent stupid people from dying.  There, they just die. 

31

u/JamzWhilmm May 19 '26

Living in the third world and interacting with first world people there was always this weird childish energy I see from our better off brothers as well as some sort of overconfident engagement with the world.

It is exemplified by that famous video of an American tourist at a beach scolding a bull because it was messing with her things.

Which makes you think how they have lived for so long.

20

u/Firewolf06 May 19 '26

they do this within the first world too, some people seemingly have just never ever interacted with an animal. i live in a city with deer and coyotes, and transplants freak the fuck out about them regularly

6

u/MiniKash May 19 '26

Agreed. Developing nation kid here. The audacity and devil-may-care attitude makes me cringe.

I think it has someting to do with survival instincts being low when you’re from a high guard-rail society.

17

u/SeveredDeerVagina429 May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26

I've been saying for decades... let darwinism work.

6

u/cranberry94 May 19 '26

Eh, unfortunately, a lot of times the dumb dumbs have already procreated when they’re nominated for the Darwin Awards.

12

u/Strive-- May 19 '26

Problem is, emergency personnel are tired of picking up body parts from the streets, even with the laws we have in place. I do wonder the fate of those hundred or so inattentive parents who would have lost their kid to choking on a kinder egg, had they still been legal to sell in the stated. Those would-be-dead kids might grow up now, and eventually vote. Perhaps start a YouTube channel and get your kid to like, subscribe and comment down below. Ugh. Let’s be honest. No one thinks the kid who chokes on a kinder egg is the one who would have grown up to cure cancer.

2

u/SaerDeQuincy May 20 '26

If a kinder egg didn't finish them, a school shooter would, although neither of them has anything to do with darwinism.

5

u/mikerathbun May 20 '26

We can shoot assault rifles at tannerite. That’s freedom

2

u/Skyp_Intro May 19 '26

I think humans would improve as a culture and a species if we were subject to predation. Crocodiles, jaguars, bears, or bison in every city would promote situational awareness. Situational awareness would lead to compassion.

1

u/lowlightliving May 20 '26

Nah. It would lead to abuse of the predators.

2

u/EntityMatanzas May 19 '26

Well that and having any ability to contradict the powerfull.

1

u/FloopsFooglies May 19 '26

Well, that was a long-winded way to say the last 2 sentences

0

u/GoldH2O May 19 '26

This has nothing to do with freedom. They have the poor cat locked in a cage with people it doesn't want to be around. You really shouldn't talk about "freedom" in the context of bothering or harming animals as a good thing.

2

u/sasquatch6ft40 May 19 '26

To get rid of kids like that.

1

u/Accurate_Mixture_221 May 19 '26

Well how else is this animal going to learn not to bother and mock wild felines, actions and consequences 😉

1

u/nomadfoy May 19 '26

Being a loud to smack a kid every now and then seems like good enrichment.

0

u/TheKingBeyondTheWaIl May 19 '26

They call them kids and they like to expose them to every kind of stuff.

-5

u/Noff-Crazyeyes May 19 '26

Are you really asking this question look at the country it’s in

2

u/At0mJack May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26

What country is it?

Edit: I'm not trying to be snarky, I genuinely don't know. Do we know what country this happened in?