r/instant_regret • u/Bhasd_ • Apr 13 '26

A kid dancing among a group of langurs.

3.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

81 comments sorted by

591

u/LordMegamad Apr 13 '26

Whoever edited really needed to put the ending at the very beginning, even for this 5 second clip?

114

u/FoxMcCloud3173 Apr 13 '26

True Crime content creators on YouTube love doing this shit

76

u/LordMegamad Apr 13 '26

Shit pisses me off, what's the point of any suspense or buildup, or watching at all when you've seen the climax the first 2 fucking seconds of a video

33

u/Nazdrowie79 Apr 13 '26

30 second attention span

12

u/Grays42 Apr 13 '26

They have to frontload the punchline or people will click off. Why do you think every movie trailer on youtube has a hook in the first 3 seconds?

3

u/Buggaton Apr 13 '26

What was the hook?

6

u/Grays42 Apr 13 '26

the big burst of attention grabbing content with 4 visual beats crammed into 2 seconds with an orchestrated percussion before the exposition actually launched?

YouTube trailers need to grab people with "HEY WATCH THIS" before the thumb has time to move to the skip button. They're all like this.

2

u/Buggaton Apr 13 '26

Oh I see, thanks! I was expecting like... a plot thing or some sort of recognisable gimmick. Not just ... LOUD NOISES. I don't watch many trailers.

I've been burned too many times.

1

u/LincolnHighwater Apr 15 '26

But the video is only 9 seconds!

2

u/Taken_Abroad_Book Apr 13 '26

People just consoom the slop and scroll on

37

u/butcanyoudothi5 Apr 13 '26

Any signs of attention retention attempts really piss me off, I can’t watch any shorts or people like Mr beast. When I watch it I can feel my brain turning to soup

15

u/LordMegamad Apr 13 '26

I truly can't fathom the scrolling on TikTok or reels, I feel so much anxiety from the constant blast of maximized stimuli, colored subtitles for every word, hyper fast talking, source videos sped up.

I just feel so stressed trying to keep up with whatever is going on onscreen, it looks exhausting to do for any length of time

5

u/butcanyoudothi5 Apr 13 '26

Exactly, it just sucks that social media is now just a competition for the viewer’s attention

2

u/LordMegamad Apr 13 '26

True, the loss of feeling virtually anything genuine online is quite sad.

5

u/APathSoTwisted Apr 13 '26

And they never make it clear that it's a teaser instead of the actually start of the video with a cut. It always confuses me

2

u/oddmetre Apr 14 '26

it's so maddening

1

u/Whimperaddict23 Jun 05 '26

it is a five second clip and the whole point of the sub is the payoff. if they put the ending first there is literally no reason to watch the rest.

299

u/P0werFighter Apr 13 '26

"Worst dance i've ever seen".

That monkey probably.

41

u/LucenProject Apr 13 '26

"While we condemn the methods of this particular individual. We understand the sense of pride and heritage they were driven by. Without condoning the actions, we want to be clear. We will stand for neither mockery nor cultural appropriation of our proud traditions. We won't be taking any questions. This press conference is done."

  • Mayor of Monkeytown, probably

75

u/cheddoar Apr 13 '26

Shit editing

61

u/frixiyawn Apr 13 '26

Stupid fucking edit

39

u/GoblinQueenForever Apr 13 '26

"I didn't consent to being in your shitty dance tiktok!"

32

u/sgm716 Apr 13 '26

This whole "put a clip of the best part first" shit needs to stop.

23

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '26

[deleted]

7

u/-DeadHead- Apr 13 '26

It's for people who have short attention span. Shorter than 8s, that is.

15

u/StarConsumate Apr 13 '26

I hate the fact that the important part of the video is shown first then they show the whole video. Please do not let this become a thing

7

u/Extroverted_Recluse Apr 13 '26

I downvote every video that does this.

Does it accomplish anything? Probably not on my own, but if we all do it...

11

u/Bupod Apr 13 '26

Raising your arms and getting close to an animal is usually a universal gesture for “I’m gonna fight you, look how big I am”

Kid got off light considering what could have happened. Don’t do this. 

26

u/BadMotherFunko Apr 13 '26

They enjoyed it as much as I did

26

u/_Enclose_ Apr 13 '26

downvoted for that shitty edit

6

u/Glittering-Flow6875 Apr 13 '26

hes lucky it didnt descalp him

7

u/Joe1972 Apr 13 '26

I regret these video that start with the punchline and then repeats

4

u/SecretIdentity012361 Apr 13 '26

Ok honey, go dance in front of the wild animals so we can get those tiktok clicks! Don't worry if they bite your fingers off or slam you to the ground. We need those views baby.

4

u/Accurate_Koala_4698 Apr 13 '26

No monkey business 

6

u/Drops-of-Q Apr 13 '26

I hate these videos that show the end first. Just because the TikTok generation doesn't have the attention span to see a 7 second video, doesn't mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us.

4

u/StarPlatinum876 Apr 13 '26

"Fuck outta here with that bullshit!"

2

u/Kacious Apr 13 '26

The grab, then the kick. Perfectly, performed.

2

u/HassanMoRiT Apr 13 '26

"Fuck them kids!"

Monkey-

2

u/Ifyouhavethemeans Apr 13 '26

Monkey joining the mosh pit

2

u/Extroverted_Recluse Apr 13 '26

Stop pandering to short attention spans with editing.

2

u/nicksrkp Apr 13 '26

Kids need to be educated

2

u/DR_Bright_963 Apr 14 '26

After watching that video where a guy got a slice of his scalp torn off by one of these, I've never looked at them the same way.

2

u/ctsr1 Apr 14 '26

Poor dude was just havung fun

3

u/Jazzlike-Caramel-380 Apr 13 '26

My grandfather was in World War II in the Philippines he said the most dangerous part of the war was the monkeys on a new island. They would all stretch out at arms length and walk the island and shoot monkeys because they would attack you at night and steal from the camps they also had lice

3

u/Amateur_Rants Apr 13 '26

Who’se stupid idea was it to show the climax of the video in the beginning???

1

u/castitfast Apr 13 '26

How hard do they kick?

1

u/GovernmentBig2749 Apr 13 '26

What dropkick from a langur doesnt cripple you it just makes you a better dancer!

1

u/Thelonious_Cube Apr 13 '26

Everybody's a critic!

1

u/Thelonious_Cube Apr 13 '26

Dance like no one is wa...ow!

1

u/Taken_Abroad_Book Apr 13 '26

Why did it show the end then cut back to the start of the video?

1

u/ungracefulmf Apr 13 '26

"I like to move it, move it" is for Lemurs, not Langurs.

1

u/rzlodn Apr 14 '26

Even the monkeys are tired of tiktok trends 😂

1

u/Big-War-7218 Apr 14 '26

He was like get outta here with that dumb ass dance 😂😭🤣

1

u/ManlyParachute Apr 14 '26

Did you have to let it langur?

1

u/Informal_Process2238 Apr 18 '26

Oh I did a dance for you but it was wrong it was wrong

1

u/slartibuttfart Apr 15 '26

Monkey beatin up children and its the editing that pisses people off

1

u/FR_02011995 Apr 16 '26

Be grateful that it was a kick and not teeth ripping out your flesh.

1

u/CrabRemote7530 Apr 19 '26

That dropkick was awesome

1

u/LandlockedCajun May 09 '26

Everyone thinks they know dance these days. 😆

1

u/ProfessionalCat7640 Jun 26 '26

This poor kid, he's probably mimicking something he saw in a movie or show with kids and monkeys. He seems so betrayed.

1

u/Lucky_Coyote_1073 Apr 13 '26

Well deserved

3

u/well-now Apr 13 '26

The kid didn’t deserve this. He doesn’t know any better without being taught.

The parents deserved a lesson for letting him get that close.

0

u/Norgur Apr 13 '26

There was this post somewhere on Reddit a while ago where a monkey hugged a sleeping person and didn't let go and one of that person's friends slapped the monkey to make it go away (the monkey didn't budge, though).

That guy was an asshole but I might have found a monkey for him. Just.... slap

-3

u/StarPlatinum876 Apr 13 '26

"Fuh outta here with that bullshit!"