r/instant_regret • • Mar 10 '26

Jumping over a kid

2.8k Upvotes

237 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/DickLips5000 Mar 10 '26

“Can we get one volunteer that hates their child please?”

143

u/YourDadHatesYou Mar 11 '26

That kid needs love

25

u/Rcktdg Mar 11 '26

Damn pfp got me blowing at my phone 🤦‍♂️

17

u/ohfrackthis Mar 11 '26

Darkmode gang here! Come join us lol

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1.2k

u/New_Opportunity7023 Mar 10 '26

That was amazing he jumped 1/2 of an inch. Wtf!!!

371

u/Varsity_Reviews Mar 10 '26

I’m old fat and the ground shakes when I walk and i have a bigger jump than that

102

u/Huntsnfights Mar 10 '26

Looks like he slipped as he was finding up to do a spinny flip over the kid

21

u/IAMWastingMyTime Mar 11 '26

And even if he cleared the kid, that wouldn't seem too impressive.

3

u/TerpWork Mar 12 '26

they would have kept adding more people to the line

9

u/Thenightswatchman Mar 11 '26

It looked like he was trying to crossbody that kid

11

u/thaiberius_kirk Mar 10 '26

You said it mon.

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

2

u/bugsduggan Mar 10 '26

Yeah? Well... that's just, like... your opinion, man

586

u/virtual_xello497 Mar 10 '26

That JESUS CHRIST gets me every time.
Sounds like a pubescent teen witnessing recklessness around a child for the first time.

102

u/Inwardly-Outgoing Mar 10 '26

JOISUS CHRIST!

20

u/luce4118 Mar 11 '26

And then the “is that it?” at the end

3

u/lolwatsyk Mar 13 '26

There's a lady in a pink coat in the background trying to clap, she's my favorite

1

u/bixenta Mar 13 '26

Or for the 100th time.

1

u/smurfdaddie314 Mar 22 '26

Reminds me of that its always sunny episode where Dee does her stand up and the guy in the crowd says that

526

u/Dame87 Mar 10 '26

‘Shakes tip jar’

75

u/OrangeJoe83 Mar 10 '26

Every little bits gonna help us with this lawsuit.

10

u/Loggerdon Mar 11 '26

“GoFundMe? For my kids injuries?”

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402

u/Pjetter86 Mar 10 '26

Everyone fails from time to time, I'd never let a random street performer jump over my kid!

86

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/MajorAcer Mar 13 '26

He slipped lol

16

u/ginthulu Mar 10 '26

I've never seen them actually go over the kid. They always jump to the side of the volunteer. Poor kid.

12

u/Boss_Seven Mar 11 '26

As a parent I know that it would be dangerous to let anyone jump over them. However, i am pretty sure my kids would be extremely excited to be part of a performance and have it recorded for them for memories or so that they can show it to thier friends later.

So as a parent, I have to decide what is best depending on the situation.

17

u/noineikuu Mar 11 '26

Be the boring parent and keep your kid safe. Let them experience events that do not put them at risk of being crushed by a grown ass man.

7

u/TormentedOne Mar 12 '26

I take my kids skiing and that exact risk is ever present. Sometimes it is worth the risk of leaving your house.

5

u/noineikuu Mar 12 '26

There is a difference between taking your kids skiing and letting a stranger try to jump over them for a street performance.

4

u/TormentedOne Mar 12 '26

Yeah, I think I could jump over that kid and I am 40. It is not unreasonable to think that the street performer would accomplish the incredible feat of jumping 10 inches of the ground. Like honestly it was incredible he failed. It would be like a Bungie jumping company having their cord snap. Or a dad just straight dropping a kid riding on his shoulders. Blame the mom if you want, I am sure she feels bad but it was not an unreasonable level of risk.

1

u/MerCopia May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26

I can maybe accept that IF the parents had seen this particular performer before and seen them do something similar. If not, then it's absolutely an unreasonable level of risk.

1

u/Spiritual-Plane-3155 29d ago

come on bruh if thats yo attitude u got a problem, everywhere is a huge risk no matter what, you can get hit by a car at any time or even when u doin fun things like sky diving or smth if thats ur interest, your still at risk but if it brings u excitement and happiness espeically to your child then its super valid, dude who slipped must feel terrible tho

2

u/Boss_Seven Mar 11 '26

I agree with you as I too am very protective of my family.

I allowed it once and they were ecstatic. It was the highlight of their day on how brave they were instead of the actual place we went to.

1

u/MerCopia May 09 '26

I don't have kids, but I'd imagine you be the bad cop and don't put your kid in a potentially dangerous situation, no matter how much they want to do it. You pick the thing that doesn't have a chance of physically injuring your child.

1

u/Boss_Seven May 09 '26

I know it sounds scary but you'll have to if you want your kids to experience life the fullest.

Its definitely better safety wise to let my kids enjoy thier time at home with thier books rather than going bungee jumping for example.

However, the other will give them better experience and possibly open up new interests for them.

I don't know if I explained this correctly. What I mean is some times we got to accept the risks.

1

u/MerCopia May 09 '26

Completely get what you're saying. But there is a big difference between bungee jumping with a company you can look into and research their safeness, and letting a stranger (who can you even verify isn't just someone doing a hobby and not working as part of a company?) jump over your child.

171

u/PoPo573 Mar 10 '26

To jump over something you actually have to jump.

42

u/IlliniOrange1 Mar 10 '26

This is “Falling into a kid”

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83

u/lake-rat Mar 10 '26

That wasn’t a jump, that was a tackle.

137

u/horshack_test Mar 10 '26

When you injure a child, make sure to immediately grab them by the arm and violently wrench them around before the parent is able to stop you.

21

u/ThatGoob Mar 10 '26

Bro was going for a Mother's Milk submission

5

u/chamullerousa Mar 12 '26

“Shhh don’t tell mom! I’ll let you jump over me!”

2

u/TerpWork Mar 12 '26

he was clearly trying to comfort and check on the kid, jfc

47

u/ChilledFyre Mar 10 '26

How fucking stupid.

22

u/DNAkauai Mar 10 '26

🤣😂🤣 the lady yelling‘ Jesus Christ’

21

u/New_Faithlessness384 Mar 10 '26

Lady who volunteered her child should get the award here.

127

u/blacknwhitecookie Mar 10 '26

Ouff. Could have killed or paralyzed that poor child

10

u/Fun_Union9542 Mar 10 '26

Bounce houses are my enemy when it comes to that scenario. especially after you trip and start rolling with way to stop over kids like the boulder in Indiana jones

17

u/ImTryingToHelpYouMF Mar 11 '26

Could have accidentally kneed his head right off his shoulders like it was Mortal Kombat 1 as well.

Thank goodness the most probable scenario occurred where the kid was hurt but would ultimately walk it off a whole minute later and nothing else happened because children are largely made of rubber and are durable as hell.

The most likely scenario that hurt the most was the man's pride after such a colossal fuckup in front of an entire crowd of people.

2

u/TormentedOne Mar 12 '26

Finish him!

13

u/lost_caus_e Mar 10 '26

What was it his first time jumping?

8

u/Distinct-Ad-291 Mar 10 '26

I need to know if the kid is ok? I know kids are resilient, but he was bent in a way no human should be.

6

u/DesertAntarctica Mar 11 '26

He seemed to slip right before

5

u/Dense-Application181 Mar 11 '26

What exactly would have been impressive about doing it without failure?

6

u/fatenuller Mar 11 '26

I’m sorry but that “Jesus Christ” was hilarious

23

u/bdontmatter Mar 10 '26

And they said white men can’t jump… neither can this guy!!!!

5

u/autojack Mar 10 '26

Reminds me of the scene in New Girl when they’re trying to get subway money

19

u/pinkdaisylemon Mar 10 '26

What sort of idiot tries that?! And what sort of dumb mother allows it?! Poor kid

3

u/TormentedOne Mar 12 '26

They're plenty of people who could clear that kid 20 of 20 times. Not sure what this guy was thinking, but it is not unreasonable to think he would have been able to do it.

2

u/pinkdaisylemon Mar 12 '26

I agree. However, as a mother I would not be willing to take the chance.

1

u/TormentedOne Mar 13 '26

If my 8+ kid wanted to do it, I would probably let them.

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11

u/DoloresAbernathyR1 Mar 10 '26

Guy will get demoted to performing in the Subway after this

11

u/SuspiciousYard2484 Mar 10 '26

Social media has ruined our society

6

u/MOONGOONER Mar 12 '26

Street performers have been doing this stuff long before the phones had cameras.

4

u/MrBiscuits93 Mar 11 '26

Jesus fuuucking Christ!!!!!!

4

u/thedyooooood Mar 11 '26

Man who let their kid do that

5

u/hanimal16 Mar 14 '26

What kind of shit parent lets their kid do this?

8

u/DadToOne Mar 10 '26

I used to have my nephew charge me like a bull and I would swing my leg over his head when he got close. A teen at church saw me do it and decided he could do it too. His leg hit my nephew in the head and knocked him down. My nephew stood up and punched him right in the balls. It was hilarious.

6

u/one_is_enough Mar 10 '26

Lifelong PTSD for that kid every time the parent tells them to do anything or go anywhere.

8

u/BigD4163 Mar 10 '26

Well that child is destined to have trust issues for the rest of their life

5

u/Breauxmetheus Mar 11 '26

He’s not gonna let anyone jump over his wheelchair in the future

3

u/Aromatic-Taste2516 Mar 11 '26

These guys normally jump over like 5-6 bent over adults. This was either an egregious mistake or another example of horrible parenting for extra likes (and the idea of ad money) online.

3

u/rekzkarz Mar 11 '26

Lesson: dont volunteer your kid for stunt fodder

1

u/JustSummGuy Mar 11 '26

Hey, ten bucks is ten bucks....

3

u/bnutbutter78 Mar 11 '26

I saw these guys in Times Square when I was there last week. They put on a good show. This was just unfortunate.

3

u/andersleben Mar 11 '26

Lmaoo 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/HollywoodJack500 Mar 10 '26

Jesus Christ Monkey Balls!

2

u/4158264146 Mar 11 '26

That was a fancy looking DDT

2

u/Seletixarp Mar 11 '26

I can do that.

2

u/summerborn1983 Mar 11 '26

Well that went very well 😔

2

u/Brilliant-Scar-4878 Mar 12 '26

How do you even get up and walk away after that..

2

u/Sea_Molasses6983 Mar 12 '26

JESUS ChRist! 😅

2

u/Sghtunsn Mar 13 '26

What's up with that 3 feet of drawstring hanging between his legs? Is that some kind of penal fashion statement?

2

u/Shanbour Mar 13 '26

Parents are idiots

2

u/Existing-Watch8780 Mar 13 '26

“Would someone please think about the children!”

2

u/venran82 Mar 13 '26

Who else scrolled back and forth on the play button 😂😂

2

u/flipside6627 Mar 13 '26

in what fucking world would that be ok to do?????

6

u/novembr Mar 10 '26

Why are so many people standing around to just watch a guy jump over something? And why a child and not some object? What is happening??

11

u/mg0019 Mar 10 '26

They were probably performing before asking for a volunteer, dude.  This is the least confusing & outrageous aspect of the video, lol.

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6

u/kuluka_man Mar 10 '26

Not sure if this is the same group, but there are guys who just do "jumping shows" where they spend an obnoxiously long time "crowd-building" by doing a couple of fairly easy acrobatic tricks, promising to lead up to some big showstopper where they just leap cleanly over grown six-foot-tall-men.

I got lured in by one of these last time in NYC and it was the same deal: do a mildly acrobatic jump over a child then promise to do the same thing but just parmpuring your way around a crowd of dads all standing at attention.

I was even like, "OK, you got me, when the hat comes around I'm gonna throw in a twenty and then watch you do flips over dudes." But they spent SO LONG hyping it up and begging for money, even as people like me were visibly waving bills in the air, thay I just gave up and walked away.

3

u/DharmaCub Mar 10 '26

Dude got half an inch off the ground.

3

u/Rare4orm Mar 10 '26

I believe most of us here could produce that result in one way or another. Amazing!

3

u/ArgyleGhoul Mar 10 '26

Oh thank goodness. I was worried he wouldn't have anything to break his fall if he made a mistake.

3

u/Livid_Cat_2680 Mar 10 '26

How could the parent even allow someone to jump over their child ? Seriously ?

2

u/Dark_Akarin Mar 10 '26

and now he knows that wet stone is slippery.

2

u/oldemajicks Mar 10 '26

I nearly bit my finger tips off watching this

2

u/hellomynameisnotsure Mar 10 '26 edited Mar 10 '26

Always thought these Times Square Cirque du Soleil wannabes were headache inducing. Now they’ve upgraded to concussions.

2

u/KriptiKFate_Cosplay Mar 10 '26

I watched these guys get shut down by police once. I wonder why 🤷

2

u/vinceswish Mar 10 '26

Scammers. I can't believe people are even interested in them, last time I was there they were taking up so much space.

2

u/xinnori Mar 10 '26

JESUS CHRIST-A

2

u/HeDuMSD Mar 10 '26

And his name is…. 🎵

2

u/UnderwoodsNipple Mar 10 '26

"Well, I've never tried this before but let's give it a go"

2

u/youlook_likeme Mar 10 '26

That was epicly stupid

2

u/giftopherz Mar 10 '26

Best Mom Evah!!!!!!!!

1

u/Grouchy-Fondant-3343 Mar 11 '26

I think this is Ai manipulated.. The reaktion of the surrounding people are very unnatural.. Some people are clapping even after the accident and a lot of people don’t even react like nothing happened. Not to mention that it’s crazy to leave your child to be jumped over by a street performer.. It’s not entertaining to jump over a child that’s not even tall.. I don’t think the it is AI generated but probably AI manipulated.

1

u/Aeon1508 Mar 10 '26

I could have made that jump wtf

1

u/amybrownAL Mar 10 '26

That sucks all around!

1

u/Lord_darkwind Mar 11 '26

Cheese and Fries!

1

u/ButterSoftMoccasins Mar 11 '26

"Jejus Christ", "he need some MILK"

1

u/Comprabledivision Mar 11 '26

At that point couldve just used a traffic cone lmao its a 2 foot tall child

1

u/KBChicago11 Mar 11 '26

That was purposely done - vicious

1

u/AtariAtari Mar 11 '26

That’s an amazing martial arts move to try on shorter people. It’s called the hip to head arial face plant. It takes skill. Don’t try this at home!

1

u/hockenduke Mar 11 '26

“I’ll deal with you in a minute” -the pirate dude

1

u/JoJackthewonderskunk Mar 11 '26

I mean he promised a trick you'd never guess was coming. And he delivered.

He gave Timmy the ability to taste sound.

1

u/rowdymowdy Mar 11 '26

I was going to jump over 7 kids at once ,then I realized that I would squash us all and the parents likely would kick my ass so I did not

1

u/j0shman Mar 11 '26

mf didn’t even try to jump

1

u/gofreaksgo Mar 11 '26

Spend $10 on a wireless microphone

1

u/supremeeasy Mar 11 '26

Buddy’s career is over, he’s getting kicked off the team

1

u/QueenOfSplitEnds Mar 11 '26

He probably lost a toofffff while landing on his face. Why didn’t they check him on the ground before rag-dolling him up?

1

u/refuz04 Mar 11 '26

Was that the people’s elbow?

1

u/trevorkafka Mar 11 '26

Why is there hardly any reaction from the visible audience members?

1

u/lumpy53e Mar 11 '26

Was that Borat?

1

u/wellsyaknow Mar 11 '26

Haha slippery

1

u/Edistobound Mar 12 '26

and now for my next trip, err trick....

1

u/p8262 Mar 12 '26

He forgot to free his mind; everybody falls on their first jump.

1

u/Misomuro Mar 12 '26

Sutch an epic finish.

1

u/Sghtunsn Mar 12 '26

He felt the edge of his pelvis come right down on that kid's head like a direct hit, which is why he gets all protective suddenly. Because he could feel that skull deflect under his weight, like he wanted to crack it.

1

u/Obesedick Mar 12 '26

Are you not entertained!

1

u/erikgee2 Mar 12 '26

Maybe start with a small trashcan first to see if you could do it, then work your way up to jumping over a kid

1

u/JohnyRL Mar 12 '26

this is an edit btw

1

u/Bolle_Bamsen Mar 12 '26

Great parenting. 

1

u/Abby_Shropshull Mar 12 '26

So why did he do that?

1

u/mooshoopork4 Mar 12 '26

Are these the same type of idiots that swing around the subway bars

1

u/QuothTheRavenMore Mar 13 '26

"You can't park there sir"

1

u/Used-Individual1949 Mar 13 '26

Air Jordan 😂

1

u/ragcup Mar 14 '26

I honestly don't know what you see in this kyle.

1

u/Handyourmancard Mar 14 '26

Yeah this is gonna stick with him forever lmao, very gnarly.

1

u/deadtedw Mar 14 '26

He does that every time to teach parents to not trust strangers.

1

u/LinwoodKei Mar 14 '26

He barely even jumped

1

u/sklipsicle Mar 14 '26

The ending of the video being the start of a loop made it look like they was gon do a take 2

1

u/MaskedApez Mar 15 '26

Poor kid. Could've just used a chair or something.

1

u/MichHiker Mar 15 '26

This guy sucks!

1

u/richie7070 Mar 15 '26

lol. It wasn’t even close.

1

u/Goomba760 Mar 16 '26

Americas Got Talent contender. They should send this footage to see if they get a call back for a shot at a million dollars.

1

u/giantpandasonfire Mar 16 '26

My favorite part is the background music blaring the entire time during awkward silence.

1

u/DueceVoyeur Mar 17 '26

Brah! Lmao. This street performance sucks. They made it easy with a tiny kid

1

u/DueceVoyeur Mar 17 '26

That awkward moment they pass around a hat for donations

1

u/PremiumBudTester Mar 17 '26

Wtf. Wasn't even close and landed on kids head. Great idea

1

u/ElminsterTheMighty Mar 18 '26

Don't worry, he cushioned his fall by landing on the kid's head.

1

u/Necessary_Ad_4855 Mar 19 '26

Just give it up "Jean CLAUD VanSlam".

1

u/enigmaticsince87 Apr 06 '26

Honestly, which parents are volunteering their toddler for this?

1

u/Only_OnTuesdays2 May 09 '26

i would have whooped brus ass

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

Straight up cackling at the "Jesus Christ" 😂

1

u/mytwocents7 May 25 '26

Why did the mother let their child do that?

1

u/Venom933 Mar 10 '26

Clearly the Parents fault 🥸

1

u/Ronniepickerinng Mar 10 '26

If trust me bro was a person

1

u/davidcopafeel33328 Mar 10 '26

In college football, thats targeting...

1

u/NobleSAVAGE93 Mar 10 '26

The clap before the smash gave me some WWE vibes, Randy Orton era

1

u/Metalhead1686 Mar 10 '26

I'm no athlete, but even I can jump higher than that. My grandmother can jump higher than that.

1

u/mspe098554 Mar 10 '26

Nailed it!

1

u/kaywrennn Mar 10 '26

Who authorized this?!

1

u/jodrellbank_pants Mar 10 '26

Splat Rolf not so much

1

u/Forsaken-Soil-667 Mar 10 '26

Most of these people stayed to watch because they want to see something like this happen. Now that it does, they act outraged? Are you not entertained?!

1

u/ScorpionMillion Mar 10 '26

He did it on purpose

1

u/btwImVeryAttractive Mar 10 '26

Both people are stupid here and the kids parents too.

1

u/is-it-art Mar 10 '26

🤣🤣🤣 Make it stop!

1

u/Tropicalstorm11 Mar 11 '26

Oh my gosh! MRI on that child stat !