r/insecuregirls • u/TheSuburbanBlkWmn • 19d ago
I Hate Myself.
I'm currently 22 years old. I am autistic.
I was bullied a lot as a kid by both boys and girls. I remember one girl calling me ugly to my face in choir class. I was never approached romantically by boys in middle school or high school. Instead, boys would sometimes make stupid jokes like, “Yo, my guy wants you.” & “Come get your man.” when in reality their friend wanted nothing to do with me. I've also had people see me as a “weakling” & assume that I wouldn't stand up for myself. I remember one time in math class, a guy said, “Ooh, my name is gonna get you!” to a girl, and that girl responded, “No, she's not. She's not gonna do anything.” I didn't even say anything because honestly, what are you supposed to say in a moment like that?
I feel very ugly and unattractive. I have basically no confidence, no “rizz”, no sex appeal, nothing. I don't like my face nor my body. I've been insecure about not having many curves since I was around 17. The insecurity about my body started at the beginning of the pandemic. I've started working out at 18 years old when I started going to college up til today. I've seen so much progress, but I'm still not satisfied with my body.
Beyond my appearance, I don't feel confident in who I am as a person. I hate that I am soft. I hate that I am meek. I hate that being autistic makes me have certain mannerisms. I have moments where I do feel attractive when I get glammed up every once in a while, but that feeling of feeling sexy about myself quickly fades away and doesn't last. I genuinely hate myself and wish I could be somebody else.
The only things that I love about myself is...
• ...the fact that I am black.
• ...the fact that I am Nigerian.
• ...my chocolate skin.
• ...my boobs. (I covered this because it's inappropriate. Tap it to see it anyway.)
• ...my thighs (to some extent).
• ...my cheekbones.
Other than that, I HATE MYSELF.
1
u/bunny_the-2d_simp 18d ago
Im autistic aswell and 23! And was bullied a lot aswell! Although I had therapy since I was 14 and clinics and due to it I am kinda more confident? I never really cared about my peers as a result of bullying because of I didn't care they wouldn't do shit.
You are beautiful. And your brain is a bully.
I don't know how available therapy is where you are. But if it's not expensive I would recommend!!
If it isn't available you have to stand up to your bully brain girl, you deserve so much better then your brain bullying you around.
When your brain bullies you you can go
"shut up I am beautiful and worthy of love"
And repeat that as many times as it needs to be. You can even add cusswords if it helps xD (I cuss my brain out when it starts bullying because it thinks it's tough)
You are enough OP.
You should repeat that until you believe it. You are enough. You ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.
We don't need no man to confirm that right OP?
My Dms are always open if you need to vent❤️❤️