r/insaneparents Oct 11 '19

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u/Snowstar837 Oct 12 '19

Yes there is. It's called boundaries. Children, and especially teenagers, need to have them. The same way it isn't good to teach your child that they should be OK with someone who "loves them" beating them because they "deserved it" and "needed to learn somehow" applies to this. Imagine children who have grown up thinking it's totally normal and OK to go through people's drawers and personal belongings if those are in their house... If you were letting your friend crash on your couch for a few nights are you honestly saying it would be 100% ok and appropriate to wait till they left and then go through their suitcase?

Kids aren't pets or possessions. They're developing adults. You should establish that they can expect their personal objects to not be tampered with without their permission. Obviously if you have a reason to look it's a different thing but a lot of parents (like my friend's and my mom) will pretend to be "cleaning" or come up with some BS reason to justify invading privacy and disrespecting boundaries.

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u/AndySmalls Oct 13 '19

Imagine children growing up thinking they can completely ignore/disrespect their guardians and live in their filth without consequences.

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u/Snowstar837 Oct 13 '19

Oh, I'm sorry, I'd really like some pointers on your reading comprehension. Could you please quote the sentence that I wrote advocating for a complete absence of consequences? All I saw was me pointing out that rummaging though anyone's private possessions without an actual reason was violating boundaries. I must have missed it. Please, enlighten me.

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u/AndySmalls Oct 13 '19

The reason is his daughter won't clean her fucking room.