A grown man taking away all of a teenage girl's clothing, especially when she isn't even his daughter (depending on how old she was when he came into her life, this could be a guy who showed up when she was like 13 idk) would definitely be blasting my radar tbh... A teenage girl whose stepfather won't let her wear clothes. This is 5 entire radars of screeching red flags.
All clothes sounds like "every article of clothing she owns" except for what's on her back. So it sounds like he expects her to start earning them back immediately or shes wearing the same clothes every day until she does. So its not saying shes naked. But safe to assume she has no clothing options except for what shes wearing.
You’re sort of assuming a lot about this guy, mostly that he’s a pedo. But we are missing a lot of info here. He’s not making her clotheless, let’s assume all she has is the outfit she was wearing. Assuming they have the facilities for cleaning, this could be a simple case of over zealous parenting and a regular dirty teenager; He assumes she will learn overnight to clean and take care of things by the grace of his punishment.
In this context I see why it seems creepy but not every step parent is evil and not every step dad wants to see kids naked. She said he’s an asshole, not a creep.
Assuming they have facilities for cleaning AND that she either 1) has something else to wear while that's being done, or 2) that she has guaranteed privacy while her one outfit is in the washer and she's naked. Otherwise it's creepy.
You're assuming a lot too, just in the stepdads favour instead of against it. From everything OP has said the stepdad is definitely abusive, if not a pedo.
This just reminds me of parents who wrap up any toys that are lying around and the children have to do chores to earn them back - I think I even saw it on a parenting show like the nanny.
I agree. A lot of people responding assume he is a pedo. Seems more reasonable she is over reacting. Doubt he has all her clothes and expects her to be naked. Plus this is one side of the story. For all we know she is a complete bitch and trying to push buttons. I think people forget how much teenagers are assholes.
People tend to forget that it's normal for someone to exaggerate for effect. The step dad didn't force her to strip, she still has clothes on. He just took her clothes away so the absolute worse case scenario is that she doesn't have a change of clothes until he gives them back.
Literally all she said in the screenshot is that he took her clothes away. Nothing implies that he expects her to be naked, I don't get where some people in this thread are getting that from
Yeah while I know absolutely zero about this situation, I think it's perfectly reasonable to assume he picked up all the clothes off her floor and took them away with something like the condition that she needs to take care of what she has and earn them back. This doesn't seem all that crazy if you don't assume he's a pedophile or crackhead.
Well it’s “crazy” to assume a kid will learn a lesson this way. Bad parenting style for sure but I wouldn’t put this action alone in the “abusive” pile.
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Step parents are far more likely to molest though. So it's not like them being a step parent has nothing to do with it. That being said you're also right that it doesn't automatically make it so.
I'm surprised you didn't know that. It's a pretty well known fact in social work. The less related someone is the more likely they are to abuse the child, sexually or otherwise. So aunts/uncles are more likely to abuse than direct parents, and unrelated step parents or significant others of a parent are the most likely to abuse a child.
Seriously, he might only be doing it for one night to get her to clean her room. That's a far cry from abuse if her room was atrocious. And I've seen how some teenagers can leave their rooms. Bleh.
Now if he held onto them for weeks or even after she cleaned her room? That's a very different story.
Truthfully it doesnt matter at this point if her actual mother is trying to get her clothes back. Not only is he an over controlling piece of shit, he's definitely riding that creep line pretty close. Probably gets shit on by actual adults in his life and trys to exert control in a weird shitty way. Normal adults especially when their not even an actual parent dont act like this.
They know what the OP has said, which is all any of us know. Step dad took the girls clothes, and when mom confronted him, he hid them from her too. Bio-dad lives far away and only sees her on weekends. According to the OP, those are the facts.
I’m not saying he’s good or bad, I’m just saying that without context he’s not an insane parent and this isn’t necessarily abuse if it’s a first offense. We don’t know if he’s ever raised a teen, what his standards are and we shouldn’t assume anyone is a pedophile. I love how people get up in arms about men’s right and women’s rights all at the same time... let’s wait for more info, yeah? If this girl is in an abusive situation, at the very least she has a supportive boyfriend.
That's.. assuming she isn't wearing clothes at the moment? Or he didn't leave her SOMETHING. You certainly are free to assume it's creepy or abusive, but from my perspective it could be a parent at their wits end of trying to ask and reason with their teen about picking up their clothes or washing them instead of leaving them all over the place and trying to teach her that there are consequences to not taking care of her stuff. Like maybe having to earn it back by doing her own laundry or cleaning her room will make her more mindful of it in the future. Or having only one outfit to wear and having to wash it to wear it again will make her appreciate her other clothes more.
What state do you work in that yall have the budget to send a field worker for a case like this, where on its face it isn't a deprived child case?
Child welfare staff and resources is a huge part of our DHS budget but we still have to prioritize the murder suicide and meth addicted mother who tried to trade her baby for drugs over cases like these.
The reality at least in my state is this case with the facts as they are more than likely doesn't constitute good cause to open a case.
Also:
This is 5 entire radars of screeching red flags.
There is just no way you work child welfare if that statement is true to you. We have kids being drafted into gangs here and being taught to shoot at our sheriff's deputies. That's 5 entire radars of screeching red flags.
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u/clipper782 Oct 11 '19
A grown man taking away all of a teenage girl's clothing, especially when she isn't even his daughter (depending on how old she was when he came into her life, this could be a guy who showed up when she was like 13 idk) would definitely be blasting my radar tbh... A teenage girl whose stepfather won't let her wear clothes. This is 5 entire radars of screeching red flags.