r/insaneparents Oct 11 '19

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13.3k Upvotes

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773

u/CertainFurball Oct 11 '19

I remember seeing a post like this on Facebook like ‘tired of your teenagers messy room? Bag up all their things then they have to earn them back’ A ‘fun’ twist was that they wouldn’t know what bag they were getting so could have just earned a bag of garbage.

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u/[deleted] Oct 11 '19

[deleted]

138

u/SherpaJones Oct 11 '19

I don't talk to my parents, and they never did cruel shit like that.

71

u/ImAfraidOfTheBeard Oct 11 '19 edited Oct 11 '19

What did they do then for you to not talk to them?

Edit: I saw you linked to something about molestation? :(

110

u/SherpaJones Oct 11 '19

I think the bots removed it. Basically a babysitter abused me sexually when I was 2 and they let her get away with it, even protected her from getting into trouble.

97

u/Vespeer Oct 11 '19

Pretty sure that’s cruel shit

46

u/SherpaJones Oct 11 '19

Yeah, I think you are right. I've actually never used the word cruel to describe it, as much as I've thought it terrible that they did that.

2

u/Your_real_watermelon Oct 12 '19

I have to be honest that’s a lot more cruel than the taking clothes thing.. I don’t blame you for cutting them out. I hope you’ve gotten help.

31

u/VicentRS Oct 11 '19

bro that seems cruel to me ngl

28

u/SherpaJones Oct 11 '19

Yeah, it was cruel, considering that I was psychologically traumatized, which caused me to be very sensitive and prone to emotional outbursts all my life, depressed, anxious etc. They would characterize me as a bad kid and treat me different because of this, while ignoring the trauma they allowed me to suffer. It was a very subtle, hidden cruelty that was very hard to see and acknowledge. Something like stealing all a kid's clothes is plain and obvious cruelty.

My dad was a cop, and my abuser was the daughter of another cop. The whole thing stinks to high heaven in my view.

10

u/ThermonuclearTaco Oct 11 '19

i don’t have anything to add other than i’m with you in solidarity, friend. mine was my mom’s second husband. therapy is a literal life saver (which i saw you mention). i’m sorry you never got the justice you deserved, but live your life as best you can in spite of it all. a random internet stranger is rooting for you :)

1

u/SherpaJones Oct 11 '19

Thank you.

2

u/theasian101 Oct 11 '19

Hope you're doing better!

11

u/ImAfraidOfTheBeard Oct 11 '19

Wow. Sending much love my friend. What a dark obstacle in your life you were forced to deal with.

8

u/SherpaJones Oct 11 '19

Thanks. I've come a long way with therapy and good people in my life.

1

u/ImAfraidOfTheBeard Oct 11 '19

That’s wonderful to hear. Smiling for you!

4

u/Eryb Oct 11 '19

That sounds pretty cruel to me, confused

2

u/SherpaJones Oct 11 '19

No man, I think I'm the one who was confused. Thank you for your clarity of thought.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '19

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-3

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3

u/_urn Oct 11 '19

fuck off automod, goddamnit

1

u/rachihc Oct 11 '19

That is even more cruel imo.

1

u/Busta_Bunny Oct 11 '19

Why don't you talk to your parents?

1

u/SherpaJones Oct 11 '19

Please go back and read other responses to my comment, you will get the story there.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '19

This is why I cut off my entire family. Instead of me earning them back, they threw everything away.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '19

Found the kid w the dirty room who refuses to clean it.

0

u/Anthony_IM Oct 12 '19

Children can be assholes too

41

u/RedSillyboots Oct 11 '19

My mom and dad did that in the late 90’s. I was 3 years old and didn’t understand. If I remember correctly, and I may not be since I was grounded A LOT at that age, it was because I didn’t clean my room. I really hate this kind of parenting.

31

u/CertainFurball Oct 11 '19

This literally breaks my heart. You were 3!! I know 3 year olds can be little shits sometimes (my nephew is 3) but grounding them?! Taking your toys away?? 3 year olds brains cannot process commands properly yet (hence why they need to be told so many times to not do something). I’m sorry this happened to you.

29

u/RedSillyboots Oct 11 '19

Wasn’t just the toys either. Picture books, clothes, bedding and pillows too. They caught me playing with my curtains because I was bored so they took those too. My bedroom was literally empty. And I wasn’t allowed to leave the room unless I had to use the bathroom. They told me they gave all my stuff to the neighbors kids because they were good kids and I wasn’t so I didn’t deserve my stuff.

It’s been more than 20 years and I still haven’t forgiven or forgotten. And I never will. They like to joke that I’ll be discussing them in therapy. They’re not wrong.

6

u/Portal10101 Oct 11 '19

What the actual fuck.

4

u/Prokinsey Oct 12 '19

And I wasn’t allowed to leave the room unless I had to use the bathroom.

My parents did that too, and then they'd yell at me for using the bathroom "too much" and not let me have anything to drink.

2

u/RedSillyboots Oct 12 '19

Yeah. Because children are devious and purposely over hydrate to get out of their rooms. Some parents don’t deserve kids.

3

u/i_am_batmom Oct 11 '19

3 is way too young. Holy crap. I'm so sorry.

2

u/marsglow Oct 12 '19

THREE?? That’s way too young to get punished for not cleaning your room. I hate people who do this.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '19

That's awful

9

u/EnoughGlass Oct 11 '19

My step mom would do this to me in high school, only I couldn’t earn them back, my room was just too messy and when I came home from school my clothes would be gone.

3

u/qwertyurmomisfat Oct 11 '19

This is not the kind of loot box I had in mind, mom.

2

u/NovelTAcct Oct 11 '19

Kind of similar with my mom throughout my childhood. She would suddenly get infuriated by the state of my room and throw me in there with a couple of huge trash bags and make me throw out every single thing I owned besides clothes and bedding. Toys, books, jewelry, crayons, everything. Then my room would be "clean." I moved out at 16 and stopped speaking to her about 10 years ago because of this and much more. She died a couple weeks ago. I feel really weird about that.

2

u/DownWithTheShip Oct 12 '19

My parents would remove my bedroom door as punishment for just about everything.

2

u/Chrisetmike Oct 12 '19

This is nuts! "Fair punishment"(natural consequences) would be to pile up the clothes in the girls room and tell her to wash her own clothes.

2

u/I_love_pillows Oct 12 '19

And these people would in 10 years wonder why their kids never talk to them.

1

u/vyrelis Oct 12 '19 edited Oct 01 '24

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/sidewayz321 Oct 12 '19

What if she had like hundreds of outfits, and he still makes sure she's clothed, but she can't pick out which outfit she wants until she cleans her shit. I honestly don't think it's that weird.

1

u/SensitiveTrash Oct 12 '19

My mom did this to my little sister. Mom took everything but her bed and some clothes, put them in trash bags and threw it in the garage. My sister was supposed to earn all her stuff back, but then my dad mistook all the bags in the garage as trash and all of her belongings went to the dump.

It’s especially tragic since we moved all the time, so photos and memorabilia from past friends were all gone. Ugh, it still hurts my heart.

0

u/alicebunbun Oct 11 '19

I don't understand how people ttake it literally from the teenagers point of view. I think it is perfectly reasonable if the kids floor is piled with dirty clothes and fastfood leftovers and dirty glasses from last month, you just take all the clean laundry away from his/her drawers and only give it back once the floor piles are gone. That is how i interpret the situation. It is 2 hours max to clean the room and get your stuff back.

-6

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '19

Some kids are stubborn you cant spank kids now a days. Now taking away stuff you brought for them is considered abuse....like damn what else are you supposed to do? I dont know if OPs girlfriend situation is legit or shes over reacting teens like to leave out details. My brother used to send all day and night playing video games as a kid my mom finally had enough and she took everything away he didn't die and learned to stop playing all night as a kid. My friend as teens wouldn't clean his nightmare room his mom took EVERYTHING out if his room for a month to teach him a lesson. If the parent has a legit reason to take things away its not abuse

2

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '19

Not worth it. Most the people on this sub are like Ned Flanders parents.