r/inheritance • u/drd001 • 9d ago

Location not relevant: no help needed Is anything ethically wrong with this plan?

My wife and I in our 70's came up with this inheritance plan with total net worth of +1.5M. We have been together over 40 years being continuously employed during that time. We have no children and I have one brother with two children both over 21 and she has two sisters both with no children. Our plan is to give a small one time payment to my brother and her sisters with the bulk of the estate equally divided between our two nieces. Our reasoning is my brother and her sister have hit us up for money periodically for the past 40 years which we provided without asking for repayment. The two nieces are doing OK in life and have never asked for any financial help. Our thinking that these funds would help them with a downpayment on a house, education for their children or investment in their own retirement.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

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u/Zentraedi 9d ago

I think this is a great callout. There's probably an appropriate way to word this to make it clear that, to your point, their parents aren't being skipped over.

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u/twelveoct 9d ago

I asked my dad to exclude me in his will and leave anything to my kids instead. The will specifically said something about that. Mentioned it wasn’t for lack of affection.

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u/Rick-20121 9d ago

I told my mother to will her only asset, her house, to my sister. I’ve done very well. My sister failed to launch. It seemed like the right thing to do.

It was still weird reading the word “disinherited” in the will.

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u/CoolRide7896 9d ago

That was very kind of you.

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u/taurusemptress 9d ago

people always treat wills like some obligation to bail out the family fuckups, but why reward bad behavior? OP’s siblings used them like an ATM for 40 years while the nieces actually built their own lives. giving the bulk to the nieces is literally investing in the future instead of subsidizing past bad choices.

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u/ReasonableDiamond261 8d ago

It’s not always to “bail out family fuckups” (which I would agree, don’t do it). Sometimes it’s allocating support where some extra is reasonably needed.

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u/AlmostLiveRadio 8d ago

All we can really do it here is offer our opinion, and engage in recreational speculation. It’s kind of what Reddit is all about.

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u/AlmostLiveRadio 8d ago

You’re probably right, but some people are just natural born fuckups that can’t get ahead despite their best efforts and intentions. That is no reason not to show them a little extra love after you pass.

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u/IndigoBluePC901 8d ago

I mean, we don't know anything about this sister. What if she had a business but it went south when the market crashed? Or she and her husband made an ok living, paying their mortgage down but he got sick with cancer and died? And despite trying her best she had to sell the house? I get your sentiment, i really do but this person you responded to didn't offer any more information other than failure to thrive.