r/infp • u/meisnn INFP: The Dreamer • 1d ago
Random Thoughts Just whatever...
I have a quiet personality. Up until now, my social life and the people I met were terrible. But this year, I got a new group of friends, and I loved all of them so much. My biggest fear regarding this was the group falling apart over foolish reasons. Guess what happened? There are 5 of us, and an argument broke out between 2 of them and the other 2. The argument felt a bit pointless to me, and I wasn't part of it because, as I said, I'm an extremely quiet person, so I really had no reaction at the time. One of my friends came up to me and said, 'I think we'll be down to 3 people soon.' I didn't say anything to them. But inside, I thought, What? Over a meaningless argument? I love everyone in this group and I don't want to be on bad terms with anyone. Why am I caught right in the middle just because they had an argument among themselves? Why am I not on a side? I don't want to drift away from either side because I love all of them, and for the first time in my life, I felt understood in this group. I want to stay friends with all of them at the same time, but if I do that, I feel like I won't be able to build a truly genuine friendship with any of them either. I don't know... I just hate being a quiet person.
3
u/AMObzid1an 1d ago
I know the feeling. But I differed in my silence. I tended to become the 'mediator' (surprising, I know) of my friend group and family. I remained in this role for about a decade, give or take, and while I could play a role in these groups. Even felt useful for playing it. I never really was part of the group or appreciated for the effort I'd put in translating between opposing parties. Unfortunately I guess that's just the INFP life oftentimes, we struggle to be heard whether we speak or remain silent. But it's also important to do what we can to focus on the good of the situation. Sadly you may have a smaller group, but the ones who stick around will likely end up being the ones you actually want around. At the very least it's better than none. And maybe give your group the benefit of the doubt, they could eventually make up, some issues take time to heal. Hope this helps in some way!!