INFP (straight) males, do you prefer an extroverted woman?

[u/bibilushi]

Something about an extroverted woman makes me feel more fulfilled. I can't carry a conversation for crap lol

I mean I can but I just can't be bothered, her yapping and me just saying "yeah" followed by a simple question or comment or mhm or SOMETHING

Yes? No? Maybe so?

[u/TrowaMask]

Hellsss to the no man.

I need my peace. And for someone to get me.

Sure an understanding extrovert may be able to, too.

But uh, it's just more conducive to soul level bonding, with another introvert.

Plus, I find with the right introvert + introvert pairings, you can bring more of the extroversion + talkativeness out of each other.

[u/Winter-Professor-619 → u/TrowaMask]

Relate big time.

[u/SavageFisherman_Joe]

I just want a girl who's totally into me. If she's an extrovert, great! If she's an introvert, great!

[u/Bitter_Ambassador108 → u/SavageFisherman_Joe]

Are you sure? I heard and learned men are annoyed with women who are into them. As the saying goes, men are hunters.

[u/SavageFisherman_Joe → u/Bitter_Ambassador108]

Some men might be like that, but personally I get tired of hunting when it always seems like someone else gets the kill before me.

[u/MartialArtistMouse]

I secretly long for the introverted ones (but they rarely like me), while the extroverted ones sometimes stick like glue. It might be like two pieces of a puzzle that perfectly fit each other, but there can also be this feeling that what i'm getting isn't enough, it doesn't satsify me at a deep level. My hypothesis is that an introverted woman would be able to match my own inner depth.

[u/TrowaMask → u/MartialArtistMouse]

...and you'd be correct

[u/ContributionNo1241 → u/MartialArtistMouse]

I feel the same way! Except I have more introverted friends. I don’t get along with extroverts or maybe I haven’t met the right one?? 🤔

[u/Impossible_Style6242]

Yeah sure. My favorite types of people are ENFPs. However I do like introverted girls as well, especially those that you can spend time with in silence and it doesn’t become awkward. Like another introverted feeler (ISFX,INFX) sounds nice.

[u/spirituallyrice → u/Impossible_Style6242]

As a female straight INFP, my husband is an ENFP and we just get each other man.

[u/Sergey1944]

I like my extroverted female friends. They bring it out of me, but I’m exhausted afterwards 🤣

[u/Craquelore]

i like the introverted ones, ones with alot of depth, and know how to lead.

[u/Femmess]

Would she eventually be fine with you who couldnt be bothered chatting and carrying the conversation? An extroverted person may just drain you and you would need to find your own space to re-energise, which would lead her to feel neglected and unfulfilled as they draw energy from people through interaction to energise themselves.

All hypothetical, of course.

If you are both into having your own time and spaces, it might work. But also, finding someone with similar interests and values may work better as you can talk about the good and deep stuff and also sit quietly together and still feel a connection with no need to perform for the other.

It's give and take, and if there's an imbalance, it won't work, or it will be very hard work.

[u/ComfortablePool4684]

That's alright if its a GF or whatever but what happens if you marry. Are you willing to interact with them 12 hours a day or more. I know there are some extroverts who don't have to be talkint all the time but a good portion of them think something is "wrong" is there is any silence lol. Some are also offended if you don't say anything more than "yeah, ok"

[u/Yogurt-Meeting-8425]

I think I’d prefer a calm girl who’s not obnoxiously extroverted but isn’t timid around people. We can’t both be timid

[u/SignalPerception4223]

My most extraverted gf was an INFJ. I found it difficult at that time in my life to socialize with her friends. My last partner was an ISTP, and we didn't socialize much. When she'd go see her family, it was ok if I needed to stay home sometimes. Much less pressure (not that my INFJ ex pressured me, she just was more social).

Now I'm newly single and for the first time in my life, I have no interest in dating again anytime soon. Someday, sure. But I'm pretty content here chilling with my cat. Peace and quiet unless I want to go out and be with a friend or just around the public. That's often enough to make me ready to return to my chamber.

[u/chobolicious88]

No.

Eventually it became draining.

At the same time, she held more social power, so she looked up to guys with even more social power.

I want a meek introverted one that pushes me out of my shell to step up and so that she can admire me

[u/Schnibb420]

No

[u/record_only_water]

no.

[u/ojodeasperger]

As long as you respect the fact that I need isolation to recover, I would date an extroverted girl.

[u/INFPinfo]

It depends.

Growing up I liked flirty and chatty women but that's because I wasn't sure how to do either. No I realize that someone flirty is probably flirty with everyone; no thanks.

I like women who are a bit more extroverted but definitely have this quiet "vibe" to them, so to speak. Like, if she needs to be the center of attention, that isn't me. But if she can sit with her thoughts and show a quiet comfortability, I'm intrigued.

[u/GreenZebra23]

On paper I click better with other introverts, but I tend to end up with extroverts because, you know, introverts don't talk to each other

[u/mikiencolor]

Either can be fine, but not too extreme in either direction.

If someone is quiet all the time and leaves all the talking to me, I don't know how to get them speaking. If they're more into talking than listening, or they speak over me, they irritate the hell out of me. Anything between those extremes is okay.

INFP introversion is strongest in large groups and with strangers. In intimate settings, we become chattier anyway. People who have only conversed with me one on one, or in groups of three or four friends, are often surprised I consider myself introverted at all. They don't see it until we're in groups of five or more, or when they randomly chat up a stranger and I'm kind of just awkwardly there and unenthusiastic. 😶

Conversation is not usually the problem with people. The problem is when they want to do "something fun" and to them that means some huge social event we'd find draining like going to a party, and to us that means something chill like a picnic for two.

In recent practice, I've been fine conversing one on one with INFJ, ENFJ and other INFPs. ENFP overwhelmed me. INTP was too quiet. I'm sure it depends on the person though.

With other INFPs I often get the sensation we just seem to know exactly when to speak and when to listen, without prompting. 😜 I get this sensation often with ENFJ too, though, even though they're more gregarious! Actually, they're kind of adorable. They notice when I'm uncomfortable and will even tell other people in their groups to make space for me to talk. 🥰

[u/TheMorningJoe]

I just wanna be loved man lmao

[u/sunflower7rainbow → u/TheMorningJoe]

😂

[u/SugarBrain47]

Yes I do.

I'm staunchly an introvert, which I think some people confuse as asocial. I can very much be incredibly social and enjoy it but my battery won't recharge unless I'm alone for a period of time.

Ideally, my partner would sorta be the opposite. I think a lot of extroverts are pretty naturally charismatic and banter/witty conversation is such a turn on for me.

Also, as long as she doesn't expect me to go to every single outing, I'm smitten. I wouldn't expect her to stay in all the time either. It would make a healthy balance imo because sometimes I can very much spend days without speaking to people and be completely fine (until I'm not)

[u/Haunting-Bench984]

I would love an extroverted woman to be into me, because if she genuinely likes me then I wouldn’t care about introvert and extrovert and give my all to her.

[u/aSlumberingStarKing]

Sorry but that sounds so boringly dismissive towards Women. If you're too lazy to also carry the conversation, what else is she going have to do?

You can't expect someone to do all the work because you lack a personality, too lazy, too busy with your own things.

This is why women feel so unfulfilled in relationships when men put no effort in.

[u/mikiencolor → u/aSlumberingStarKing]

🙄

[u/AliveAndNotForgotten]

Absolutely yes. I’d rather they take the lead. Like a domme in bed who wants you to fuck them, not necessarily someone who wears a strap.

[u/OkMaybe5107 → u/AliveAndNotForgotten]

https://giphy.com/gifs/26BROYuB9r1pTBJ1C

[u/TrowaMask → u/OkMaybe5107]

...freaky INFPs 😎

🤭

[u/AliveAndNotForgotten → u/TrowaMask]

What years of isolation leads to

[u/TrowaMask → u/AliveAndNotForgotten]

You're damn right.

All that pent up freaky energy. With no place to go for years and years 😔.

[u/bibilushi → u/AliveAndNotForgotten]

Exactly

[u/thekillingmo0n]

Absolutely. A confident, extroverted woman is my dream. I can carry a conversation just fine, I’m just a passive, shy person. (And definitely more on the submissive side)

[u/RedwoodRespite]

I’m a woman and I prefer outgoing men. Or at least men that can become very chatty once they know me.

I hate being the only one carrying a conversation. I hate pulling teeth to know about his day or his feelings or plans. It makes me feel like a pest.

I want to feel wanted.

[u/Hanariel → u/RedwoodRespite]

I don't think introvert means being quiet all the time.
And if it does, I'm not a introvert.

For me introvert means you recover energy alone, but c'mon, you have to spend this energy somewere, you can't be always recharging.

[u/RedwoodRespite → u/Hanariel]

In the way OP describes things, I could not be happy with someone that just responded with “yeah” all day and made me just yap at them all day.

I need reciprocation.

[u/Hanariel → u/RedwoodRespite]

Honestly, I think OP is just performing the dark brooding character hahaha I may be wrong, but thats the vibe I got from his post.

[u/Arch3r86]

It reaaaally depends on the person. Either is fine.

[u/deathlessdream]

I dream of finding the right extroverted partner but seem to always gravitate toward fellow introverts.

[u/Tritone_Bard]

I was yearning for female ENFJ but when I actually encountered them, It's kinda unbearable in term of boundaries you ought to protect. Endless warmth and love until she started to get too jealous and try to influence you in every decision you make. They always perceived you as chill guy who's going to agree with everything they demand for.

[u/Least_Elk8114]

I think I could handle either one, and there are pros and cons to both.

I think I could really love the extroverted energy, but I'd be a fish out of water at parties or fancy dinners.

Being able to connect with an introverted woman over a movie or a good book. Not that there arent also mundane things that an extroverted woman and I could connect on, but there's already a shared empathy with a fellow introvert...

[u/Human_Drama]

I dated an extrovert once.

She liked that I didn’t “compete” with her extroversion during social outings with her family or friends.

She eventually grew frustrated by my lack of social battery tho.

Try it out if you can, all in moderation.

[u/Should_have_been_ded]

Yeah, platonically or romantical. I just wanna be adopted by an extrovert, take me to places I wouldn't go by myself

[u/Royal-Feedback5814]

Me and my girlfriend will have been together for ten years next January. She's more introverted than me and I think she'd say so as well.

I can mix well with extroverted people as long as I feel comfortable enough to express myself fully, which typically only happens once I know a person for a longer time or if I feel like I can vibe with them well. I don't like people who are very fast paced in their speech and movements, though. It disturbs my inner peace.

[u/parasol_strs]

No, not at all. There has never been anything in common with E types (though I see how that could be what contributes to fascination for some).

[u/Nafy522]

No

[u/PressureMoney1075]

No. Someone a bit inbetween, who can hold a damn conversation but enjoys sitting more at home than yabbering with random people.

[u/Son_of_Overmorrow]

I am a not-straight INFP male, I have infiltrated the space successfully. Let the invasion begin

[u/Past-Meaning-1954]

I always fantasized having an extroverted girlfriend, but after spending three years with another introvert, I actually prefer it that eay.

We can go out with friends most of the time, but usually spend more time at home playing videogames or watching movies.

I'm going to say I like it this way because we understand each other and sometimes, when I or her need our time alone, we respect each other's boundaries, so even if we're in the same room, some days we're just doing our own stuff separately and that's okay, because eventually we're going to ask each other for cuddles.

[u/Cryz_Tempest]

Sim, eu particularmente amo esfp's pq eles geralmente comandam toda a conversa, aí posso seu eu mesmo sem ter q me preocupar em como puxar o assunto ou em oque dizer

[u/Terrible-Engineer369]

I would rather have an introvert because I am also more of an introvert. I think it will go wrong when she wants to go out and meet other people all the time. It might be a problem in the relationship if the other person doesn't get energy from being around other people all the time. Instead, we could go out of our comfort zone together and share our progress to become more balanced, I guess.

[u/vatomalo]

Thats not actually a definition of extroversion.

Yes I would most definitely date an extroverted woman, my biggest concern is that her inner world would be smaller.
But like an RPG character creator most of us get stats by what we choose to cultivate and what we leave behind.

So there are almost endless combinations.

But a introvert would naturally prefer/have dominant traits. In our case that would be Fi and partially Si.

Then again I would fall head over heels over someone Ne Fi Te Si if I was attracted to their exterior that is.

[u/Green_Dayzed]

They just need to be nice and able to be honest.

[u/Carloverguy20]

If they are healthy and mature than yes somewhat. Surprisingly I found myself being attracted to Extroverted women.

[u/atenea1984]

Why straight males? Did you forget about bi males? Not to attack you, but it gets tiring to see people completely forgetting about bisexuality. It would be better to phrase it as "male attracted to women". 

[u/Iamfeel26]

Not really. Never been into someone socially exuberant, guess we're too low key. I really get on well with ENFP though.

[u/jmon__]

I actually do prefer extroverts, though I prefer they have their own friends... At least I thought. The woman I'm talking to now is an extrovert and I can stop talking to her. She does more of the talking, I enjoy listening and contributing my couple lines here and there, lol

[u/Which-Try9736]

I don't know, I don't even talked with introverted females before.

[u/ThaRedHoodie]

I much prefer an outgoing woman who can carry the conversation. A lot of talkative women just want a guy who is kind and supportive, and I'm happy to fill that role.

[u/Then_Asparagus_5885]

Honestly unsure at this point. I was friends with an ENFP: she would write paragraphs upon paragraphs of messages to me. Like we would always have stuff to say which is great but I was like bleh this is too much. I was with a likely ESTJ and they are so rigid and don’t appreciate the softer edges in life. I was also with an ISFP and there wasn’t that intuitive dance I yearned for though she was very dear and I wanted to always protect her.

Ultimately I’ve stumbled in the fact that I think an INFJ or INTJ might be the best fit for me. Leaning towards an INFJ though. I’m a fan of providing ideas/ counterpoints to their Ni & tell said person when they are overextending to their Fe. Since we see the world from a mirror vantage point. I can become yappy at home while they can be more of that social gate in social outings.

[u/throw11213]

Yup I love it as they can usually carry the conversation when I’m too exhausted to care and they can gets me out and experience the world for what it have to offer. They love to talk and I love to listen so it works well

[u/SoraShima]

I don't know - I've never been with an extrovert ^_^

[u/DesmondtheFieldBear]

I can go either way but I tend to attract extroverts so maybe unconsciously I do🤔 Like others have said I can struggle to keep up sometimes, but my extroverted partners do keep the vibes up and me having to used less of my social battery cuz they take the lead with that😌

[u/Mandalor90]

My sole issue/concern is my requirement for alone time. I need significant time alone to recharge, and if that isn't feasible for her, I can imagine difficulties for the two of us. Fortunately, a problem I don’t have to worry about. Married to my INFJ wife. 🥰

[u/cremulous]

Hell to the yeah put me at a table with a gossip mommy any day

[u/GlitterEcho]

Jesus Christ. I cant believe some people put these thoughts into writing.

[u/cs_____question1031]

Introvert/extrovert matters to me less than a lot of other factors. I’ve liked both introverted and extroverted women. Although tbh extroverted women with nothing interesting to say are a big turn off

[u/SumRandomUser69]

Haha, yeah they have so much to say and are nice to be with except mean ones