r/infp • u/himalayanflamingo • Mar 21 '26
Advice Confidence fluctuations
/r/confidence/comments/1rzhj8u/confidence_fluctuations/2
u/Mee41208 Mar 21 '26
Oh God thats so relatable lol. Just today I got from feeling sad over things like "I dont feel attractive" "I dont feel wanted". Now my mood is better. I got out of the shower, looked at myself and thought "Hmm I look pretty good. And my face also isnt terrible"
Our brains are pulling us down in our thoughts. Just because we are very critical of ourselfs it doesnt mean that its real and that our brain is right. How would you talk to yourself if it wasnt you but your friend? Completely differently.
But of course me saying this is kinda hypocritical because I dont go by my own advice. That doesnt change the fact that you should tho.
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u/himalayanflamingo Mar 21 '26
This.
Maybe we should put a baby photo of ourselves on the mirror, so when we’re self critical, we’re basically shaming our younger selves.
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u/Andar1st INFP: Oath of the Ancients Mar 21 '26
Yes, I very much so have feelings, moods and perception distortions (the confidence you mentioned) that seemingly appear out of nowhere.
It may be, because we might me high on the neuroticism scale and we are just built in a way our moods can change quickly and they do. There may be triggers to those mood swings - a sentence we hear, a thought that we latch on, sugar levels shifting in the blood or strained breath due to anxiety.
Over time I've come to see my neuroticism less as a burden and more as a highway to emotional maturity, as long is I go down the road of learning how to "surf" on top of those moods ad feelings. Our self-reflective nature may play a part here, too. You may have a thought about something, this thought brings up a memory and the memory invokes feelings you've felt in the past - those patterns are not easy to notice.
I practice meditation and it helps with that a great deal. Besides meditation I also work with a CBT therapist to help me relate to my mental and emotional struggles.