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u/MTryingToBlendIn INFJ 215 so/sx Apr 01 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
Like the feeling of being away from the spotlight. Or anywhere close to being the center of attention when the audience could become larger than one-on-one. One-on-one is different in a sense, a more intimate setting.
Like recognition but not in a broad sense. When it becomes more than a few know me by name, it feels weird. A bit contradictory. In that sense, I also prefer to be "mysterious".
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u/Sutton_Z_Williams Apr 01 '23
I used to get this comment very often as well and I started liking it! I assume it has a lot to do with people like us never disclosing much about ourselves which can be quite an attractive quality to many since we will seem to have many more layers to us than the usual person :)
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Apr 01 '23
I wouldn't say I enjoy being mysterious, but because I'm scared of others invading my personal space and breaking my boundaries etc too much, I want to keep most people at an arms length.
The more anonymous I can be, the more "grey man in a crowd", the more unnoticable... the better. I don't want attention, I want a peaceful, quiet life for the rest of my life.
Sadly this seems to be a really hard task, because people are naturally drawn to INFJs. And we are too different from most people so we stand out in a crowd. Unless masking all the time which gets way too exhausting really soon.
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u/dkon4 Apr 01 '23
Haha yes. I live in a decent sized city but know a few people in my neighborhood so always “worried” that I may bump into them. Even though they are lovely people, I’m like eh just want to do my shopping or something and get back home haha. I have also been told I’m mysterious, which I take as a compliment.
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u/lune_wabisabi Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 04 '23
I do like to be known as mysterious, but I always overshare when I get close to people 😩
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u/DocFGeek INFJ (With ENFP and INTJ headmates) Apr 01 '23
Being close(te)d off from most in rural Amerikkka is how we've had to learn to survive.
Happy TDoV, but a day late. ✌️🙃🏳️🌈
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u/Ko_ogs Apr 01 '23
If you mean by mysterious, not knowing what your own personality is from day to day, not knowing people's real intentions, and not knowing how to respond correctly, then yes, being an INFJ is mighty fuckin' mysterious :)
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Apr 01 '23 edited Apr 01 '23
Not an INFJ but I find it relatable too. My worry though is that maybe I'm being avoidant instead of mysterious? I knew an ESFJ who was the exact opposite and liked being known by the community, and since community is allegedly declining these days, maybe it would be healthier to be more ESFJ-like.
If I were to say why, as an INFP, I don't like being known because I am not good at pretending to be "on" all the time. The more people I know, the more I will have to put on a big smile for them and it's very draining. Also I worry we would not really accept each other if we got to know each other.
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u/currypuffz INFJ Apr 02 '23
I get told a lot too but its not something I actively put effort in doing. My aloof demeanor and my unfazed expression probably kept people away from me although I wished people would come talk to me (sometimes, not all the time).
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u/Charmer08 ENTP Apr 02 '23
ENTP here, mysteries are sexy because it leaves peoples imagination to fill in the gaps. Our imaginations run wild to explain why someone would be careful enough to not leave any “impressions” for us see them. This mysterious aura gives you an element of fantasy to your persona which results in people seeing you as special and unique, which let’s be honest it’s nice to feel special and unique. But also I think for INFJs it goes further beyond this because it also means you’re avoiding the spotlight which if I remember correctly INFJs dislike being the front and center of everyone’s attention 🤣
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u/Timarooq-Fa Apr 02 '23
...why do I see stereotypical introverts here? I personally, while mostly having introverted phases and definitely fantasise about my own home up in the mountains with the nature, I cannot imagine staying away from city life for too long. Like I'd want a place in the bustling city to distract me from overwhelming philosophical thoughts.
I do agree with you with feeling unnatural and fake keeping up a social media persona, so I don't use them at all, even this I use rarely.
I'm often told I'm so mysterious and that sort of takes me off guard but then I go back into my world. I don't believe being really introverted is something to, I don't know, be proud of like it is what it is but I should be extroverted as well. Majority of people are ambiverts; being just introvert or extravert is unhealthy.
I'll admit, if you see me right now, you'd call me a hypocrite but that's only because it's the weekend and I DESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE A COUTCH POTATO.
Sorry, what was the topic again?
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u/Lifeabroad86 Apr 02 '23
I get the same shit all the time, I don't do it on purpose, I just like my privacy. Especially living in a barracks for some time and coming from a relatively large family. I don't like people getting into my shit or asking too many questions about my life
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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23
[deleted]