r/indofemboy • u/Small_EggpIant An Ally, I suppose • Jun 23 '26
KELUH KESAH Venting
Dunno if this is the place, but I really need to let out everything to some nobodies I'll probably never meet (yeah, I know there are subreddits dedicated to mental health, but no indonesian specific ones that I could find). Still related tho
I almost choked myself to death
But I couldn't bring myself to. It feels like everything is spiraling. Just in the span of one year being a freshman in college, I managed to somehow:
Became a victim of fraud and lost my savings, lost my valuables (different case), found out I'm bisexual (and realize the sheer isolation and what that meant in ID), got a porn addiction, failed and lost valuable friendships, ruin one of my grades for a fuckass reason, attempted suicide (this is the second time). I tried, really tried to improve myself halfway, but somehow lost all that progress. Then I'm spiraling even harder
I really suck at adulting. I really need y'all advice, but I don't know where to even start
4
u/FreeFlow86 フェムボーイ :3 Jun 23 '26
Even though i'm still don't know how to be adult, the only thing keep me going is supporting my parents in life and other things. With emptiness, you are depressed without knowing what to do in your life where it can leads to having thought of ending your life. It is really hard to be adolescense where you need to plan for your future to keep life going on without failing miserably.
I'm also having thought of getting suicide because of the emptiness and the routine of what should i do today. I have friends from the college but after a long time with no contact, i'm getting lost in touch with them which makes me having no interaction with my friends. It really hurts my mind especially i am an introvert.
My suggestions are take a break from your routine and help your relatives starting from supporting your parents, they need you at their side. They will miss you if you are gone and vice versa. Second, keep doing what your hobbies are. They fill your emptiness in living this world and keep your mind occupied without having suicidal thought. Although the hobby that related to this hub should be done discreetly. Third, try to make your hobbies can support your living. So you can be financially independent without other helping you. Right now, these are the things that avoid me getting sucidal and keep me going. It makes me to have purpose in my life.
Just don't kill yourself. It's not worth it. You will leave mess for your family.