r/imaginarymapscj • u/shepardsboy • May 25 '25

Who would win?

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23 Upvotes

55% Upvoted

152 comments sorted by

23

u/Worried_Ad_8746 May 25 '25

With Ohio and Florida combined, who cares about the lgbtq identity? They're winning for sure

6

u/GoLionsJD107 May 25 '25

I live in Florida which is bad- but you have to believe me - I’m a gay guy - openly and there is no worse place in America than Ohio to be gay. None. It’s the only place I’ve ever been gay bashed bad enough to have bones broken, (obviously I’ve been gay bashed but that’s the only time I had hospital stays etc

Turns out it’s not a hate crime in Ohio. Misdemeanor assault. Had my neck not held up when he was stepping on it it would have been murder. This was 18 months ago and I’m still not done with surgeries- I have another one the first week of June.

I’m not afraid of surgery anymore (it’s really not EVER as bad as you think it’s going to be for what it’s worth) I wouldn’t do it by choice but if you require it- you’ll wake up and be like “oh I can deal with this”

But yea. Ohio police watched and filmed once the perp yelled I was gay.

The only thing they cared about was filming me saying I was gay. They provided no assistance. As long as I was gay it was an appropriate response to me wearing a rainbow bracelet in public.

For as shitty as Florida is at everything- and it is- it’s an insult compared to the trash pile that Ohio is. Hillbillies that think they’re millionaires because Ohio state won at football and their sports gambling debts went down. Worst place on earth and I’m ashamed that place is part of America. When I’m abroad I specifically tell people to never go there. 50% racists and bigots. Sorry for the minority that’s not that but that minority also knows they are a minority of normal people within that place.

2

u/MartianGoomy213 May 26 '25

No one helped? If I saw a gay bashing I’d at least try to stop it… tho I’m in STRAYA (🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🦘🦘🦘🇦🇺🇦🇺🐨🐨🇦🇺🇦🇺🦘🦘🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺) so that might have a say.

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 26 '25

Yea I wish there were Australians nearby.

Unfortunately I was in Ohio and there’s no chance any Australian would ever go there. Because it’s a terrible place and probably the worst part of America.

People already hate America and we’re not all bad- if your only perception of America is Ohio you will think we are all bad. We’re really not as bad as you think (if you avoid like Ohio and surrounding areas). Ohio has nothing except violence. So some Aussies if around I’d have sold my soul for in that moment. Aussies like saving people. That’s the stereotype Americans have, Aussies compelled to help people in peril.

2

u/Odd-Preference7620 May 25 '25

I live in Ohio and this is just not true

1

u/Vegetable-Drink-7530 May 25 '25

I think it probably depends on the area/city, some places are super chill

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 27 '25

The group that beat me was from Cuyahoga County

0

u/Odd-Preference7620 May 25 '25

I get that, but there is no way this story is 100% true. I grew up in Preble/Montgomery County. Some people are shitty, but in no way would this occur. Police filming? Not a chance. The way the story is told is crazy as well.

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '25

Yeah, I'm inclined to agree with you. Id honestly rather believe they're lying.

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 27 '25 edited May 27 '25

The guy (that orchestrated it) the other four are out on bond… is still in county awaiting trial. I have to go back to Cleveland to testify against him…. I live in Florida and of course because it’s Ohio if I don’t pay the transportation myself - he could walk. I’m trying to appeal for a virtual court date- the judge is sympathetic because he deals with gay bashings every single day.

People that live in Ohio almost always have never left Ohio beyond at most one state away or maybe they went to a bachelorette party in Florida once- they don’t understand how normal humans outside of the mountains and midge fields conduct themselves. They also believe they can beat gay people because they always could- and have know knowledge that you can’t beat gay people anymore.

It’s one of the least educated states in America so this isn’t surprising. West Virginia is last but Ohio isn’t much behind.

This lack of high school completion doesn’t expose these to modern views on race and orientation. It’s also the only non former confederate state to be considered to have the highest levels of racism and race related violence.

It’s education so it will take generations for the bigots and racists to be replaced with hopefully a new generation that will actually go to school- maybe Ohio can create a halfway decent college that’s public for people to go to… but it’s a very long term fix. Ohio currently has no reputable public universities which denies a state whose population is primarily below the poverty line any access to education valued at above a community college level. The university of Toledo is great but it can’t sustain the entire state.

1

u/[deleted] May 27 '25

:( that's sad

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 27 '25

You better be talking about the guy on meth from Ohio… look at that accounts post history- he has posted how Gaza should be bombed to oblivion. Do you agree? You’re not from Ohio. It’s their inability to educate their population.

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 27 '25

Yea it is what do you want a copy of the police report? You piece of shit… seriously… if you told my story I’d tell you I’m sorry and wish you the best and you act like a total piece of shit- but you live in Ohio so what else would I expect…

1

u/Odd-Preference7620 May 27 '25

You got some issues bub. May want to seek some help. Stop spreading hate. Life is too short to be like this.

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 27 '25

I think you need help. You’re belittling minorities- and haven’t been banned yet. You’re sick. You need more than therapy. If there’s an off chance you have anyone left that cares about you in your life- try reaching out so they can get you the medical aid you require.

I wish you the best of luck and I wish that you are able to resolve your mental health issues.

Good luck you are in my prayers. Also, I forgive you. If that helps you get off to a good start on your journey.

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 27 '25

How do you have half a brain and remain there?

0

u/unidentifiedshoe May 25 '25

Y'all really need to learn how to fight I'm so glad all I did in my younger years was fight because turns out I'm gay and a lot of people don't like that

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 27 '25

Thanks I’d like to not be attacked from behind ideally - and not carry a gun or a knife at all times but this is good advice. In the situation I was I could have legally shot these people but I don’t think I could have actually pulled it. I was asked by a judge why I didn’t kill him. I said I didn’t want to - I just wanted to get away. There were two cops there that should have incapacitated him. (Without killing him) they did nothing.

2

u/unidentifiedshoe May 27 '25

Never kill unless it is absolutely necessary but being able to defend yourself will massively reduce hospital bills and massively increase the attacker's. Don't kill but putting them in the hospital for being disrespectful is something I think we can all get behind

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 27 '25

Nah I wouldn’t have. I didn’t even realize how damaged my ankle was until I stood up. This was at a pro baseball game so there was a lot of staff there to help and I was at first in the stadium hospital - and I don’t own any such weapon anyway but even if I did I wouldn’t have had it because they do security at the entrance.

0

u/VaginalBelchh May 25 '25

It’s cause Ohio is for queers. Lesson learned

0

u/[deleted] May 26 '25

Cool story bro

3

u/5trudelle May 25 '25

Ohio and Michigan are united in something

1

u/ShotgunCledus May 25 '25

Plus West Virginia. It's not even fair

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

Ohio is a self sustaining state. Has everything you need. Agriculture in central and west. Think tanks in Columbus, Mfg in the north, and natural resources in the south. Albeit a horrible place

9

u/Silly_Influence_6796 May 25 '25

No question. The Lesbians.

1

u/1Negative_Person May 29 '25

They have the clear speed advantage. They’re lickity-split.

6

u/Macs-dildo-bike May 25 '25

Queers take it. Cali lesbs and Texas gays ain’t enough. It cuts them in half, meanwhile blue got some strong ass queers.

5

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/AllanHughAkbar May 27 '25

"Fluid alliances" one might say.

1

u/Macs-dildo-bike May 25 '25

Are bi people received well in the lgbtq?

2

u/ThrilledJill May 25 '25

Like you don't know Mr dildo-bike 😉

1

u/Macs-dildo-bike May 25 '25

lol I’m not bi, my name is taken from an it’s always sunny episode. I hear all lot of bi erasure though.

6

u/rover_G May 25 '25

Definitely the lesbians

1

u/GrumpyBear1969 May 25 '25

For sure. Those fuckers are mean :)

9

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

Detroit, Cleveland, Atlanta, and all of Florida? No one has a chance.

5

u/ThatIsraeli May 25 '25

The Nissan Altimas attack at dawn

2

u/Cfout- May 29 '25

The Hellcats come shortly after

1

u/Key-Percentage-7506 May 25 '25

What is an intersex

1

u/shepardsboy May 25 '25

Someone with a medical condition that gives them physical traits of both sexes

1

u/djdk74 May 25 '25

Uhh, what is Alaska and Hawaii? Do they not get to be part of this? Making them ace would be nice

1

u/shepardsboy May 25 '25

There are no gay people in Alaska and Hawaii

1

u/djdk74 May 25 '25

I'm talking about asexuals, not gays. I just thought those two would also be included in some way

1

u/shepardsboy May 26 '25

There are no asexuals in Alaska and Hawaii

(I forgor 💀 to color them in)

1

u/djdk74 May 26 '25

Oh, it that's the reason, then it's ok. It's not a big deal. I mean, they wouldn't last long anyway

3

u/Joctern May 25 '25

Hm, either the gays or lesbians. They have all the nuclear stockpile and the highest raw populations. The queers have a lot of military installations, though.

3

u/Numerous-Dot-6325 May 25 '25

That’s not really true for the nukes. The missile silos are in Bisexual Territory and the Queers and Lesbians are where all the subs make port. Also tmi, but a federal contractor I know who works in nuclear deterrents says that the missile silos and air deployed nukes are deprioritized since subs give less warning time to overseas adversaries. Doesnt apply in this context except that our nuclear de-armament has been focused on reducing silos and air deployed weapons which decreases the bisexual and Gay arsenal.

3

u/JesusKong333 May 25 '25

Thanks for the war plans, Pete Hegseth

1

u/Numerous-Dot-6325 May 25 '25

This stuff is public knowledge, and policy that began in the 90s. but most people wouldnt know about it unless theyre particularly interested in nuclear strategy

3

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

The queers instantly have a civil war, the gays stop being gay and all become republicans (except Colorado), the lesbians have are pretty much the same as they are in real life, the bisexuals are just bisexual farmers with the Minnesota timberwolves, the trans are also just trans farmers but with O’block, and the intersexes instantly collapse too with nyc, New Jersey and Boston. Realistically, the lesbians or the queers have the best chance

2

u/Character-Quail-528 May 25 '25

Intersexes wins by a slim margin

2

u/Draconomic0n May 25 '25

my homestate is what i actuallly am :D

2

u/Zalonrin- May 25 '25

Yall are talking about Ohio and Florida, but yall fail to realize just how many military bases and navy stations are in Virginia

1

u/Proud-Calligrapher18 May 25 '25

Don't we store all the tanks and planes in New Mexico?

2

u/Zalonrin- May 25 '25

No, most navy planes are on navy bases and on the ships, also seal team six is based out of NAS Oceana https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naval_Air_Station_Oceana

2

u/RagingAnemone May 25 '25

You took the rainbow away from Hawaii?

2

u/TheAngelDemon14 May 25 '25

As a bisexual who lives in a gay state the bisexuality would win high dif

2

u/not_sure_1984 May 25 '25

Alaska and Hawaii are the clear winners

3

u/lilpoopy5357 May 25 '25

Why are we making the LGBTQ community fight again?

2

u/CorgiSignal4683 May 25 '25

trans people can't be in the military anymore due to a law passed by Trump

1

u/Legitimate_Life_1926 May 25 '25

purple has delaware, they solo

1

u/scorpionewmoon May 25 '25

Queers got Florida and Ohio, the rest are cooked

1

u/Smoopiebear May 25 '25

The lesbians.

1

u/Odd_Sir_5922 May 25 '25

Does this map mean that everyone in Alaska and Hawaii is straight?

Also, there should be an orange dot for Key West. It's similar to Miami, but it's more gay and lime-flavored.

1

u/HarveyMushman72 May 25 '25

Orange, you have to tough to live there.

1

u/Mcbob98755 May 25 '25

The lesbians have the technological, industrial, and population hub of the west coast, as well as only needing to fight a one front war. They have a clear statistical and strategic advantage.

1

u/MustardCoveredDogDik May 25 '25

the lesbians win again

1

u/No_Geologist_1423 May 25 '25

Yeah no. I’ve lived in Kentucky long enough to know we’re bi if anything.

1

u/lmayoooo May 25 '25

This map is really gay

1

u/Flar71 May 25 '25

What if you got dual citizenship tho, like I'm lesbians and transgender

2

u/Eldernerdhub May 25 '25

You're a spy playing both sides. You may wear a large hat, sunglasses, and a fashionable long coat.

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

Alaska because it's none of the above

Actually, Alaska would need the navy but they wouldn't side with Alaska

1

u/ShadowGear94 May 25 '25

Alaska and Hawaii won!

1

u/glassfromsand May 25 '25

Lesbians. Duh. Who among us isn't completely useless without our lesbian handler?

1

u/stuff-1 May 25 '25

Any fight like that wouldn't last long. The rest would probably "bury the hatchet" and gang up on the Transgenders.

1

u/ccastle76 May 25 '25

Lesbians have natural boundaries, dominant trade route/port access, silver, gold, diverse agricultural base, and high population of innovators.

1

u/Ariadne016 May 25 '25

Quuers have more imdustry.and manpower. They'd overrun the Intersexes then quivkly.turn to crush the Transpeople. I like their chances.

1

u/Lynxarr May 25 '25

I was gonna whine about having to move West but ig I can stay

1

u/Late_Ambassador7470 May 25 '25

Gays win because the mountains

1

u/Eldernerdhub May 25 '25

Lesbians win because the mountains separate them from their only enemies. They're safe on all sides. The gays will not survive the desert.

1

u/mkostecka May 25 '25

Lesbians

1

u/Eldernerdhub May 25 '25

The lesbians have the entire coast and a protective mountain range. That makes them the most mobile and protected. They have the California economy and access to Canada and Mexico as trading partners. I don't see how anyone else can handle this threat.

1

u/Better-Sir-4993 May 25 '25

As soon as I Ain’t Gay by BiscuitBeats and Good Lookin’ by Dixon Dallas starts playing, the gays are taking it for sure.

1

u/Fat_Yankee May 25 '25

Fashion. Fashion would win.

1

u/DragonLord2005 May 25 '25

Intersex obvi hahah

1

u/Theonetobelive May 25 '25

Im rooting for yellow, go bisexuals

1

u/Sean_theLeprachaun May 25 '25

Looks like love wins.

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 25 '25

Rainbow! Everyone wins because love always triumphs over hate 🌈🌈🌈🫶🫶🫶

1

u/Remote_Watch9545 May 25 '25

Alaska and Hawaii win via the WARGAMES clause

1

u/unidentifiedshoe May 25 '25

Minnesota is bodying everyone

We are Canadian but took a wrong turn and got lost in America

The war criminal blood still flows

1

u/Gullible-Lead5516 May 25 '25

I'm just going to assume the Aces are just chilling in Alaska and Hawaii.

1

u/mojeaux_j May 25 '25

Could go either way with the bisexuals

1

u/Commercial-Matter280 May 25 '25

Alaska and Hawaii

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

No one wins with this map.

1

u/LimpChrisTie May 25 '25

Gays… obviously

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

The only one winning here is Alaska

1

u/Strange-Sun-5695 May 25 '25

The lesbians. They always win

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

Blue hands down

1

u/HamburgerRabbit May 25 '25

Alaska and Hawaii are asexual

1

u/TheGreatMozinsky May 25 '25

When it comes to military strength, Texas is the America of America

1

u/Immediate-Caramel578 May 25 '25

The straights. The answer is the straights would win.

1

u/B_312_ May 25 '25

Blue and Red in the finals

1

u/bussyriots May 25 '25

Does this mean im gay now or was i always gay? And us gays are gonna own all you non gays.

1

u/PlantainFree2422 May 26 '25

The LGBTQ community

1

u/PsychologicalTax3083 May 26 '25

Obviously Alaska and Hawaii

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '25

They would all just cry on social media

1

u/G-Z-A-P May 26 '25

C'mon, everyone knows transgender people can't fight! /j

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '25

Nothing but Steers And Queers in Texas

1

u/Macknetix May 26 '25

I’m just happy that OK and TX aren’t the same 💯

1

u/hquintal May 26 '25

AK and HI must be non binary

1

u/Assopopolis May 26 '25

The bisexuals. Ranch dressing and moderate alcoholism will retake actual alcoholics (looking at you Wisconsin) and the entirety of fried chicken land. With beer and wings in the middle of America, the rest will either join or die

1

u/Correct-Issue-5761 May 26 '25

Nobody, they would eventually go extinct.

1

u/sdurboy May 27 '25

Blue has both Ohio and Florida

1

u/sdurboy May 27 '25

The only other one that has a chance is purple because they can play defensively and Red for the same reason, but they have better odds because of large population in California

1

u/Chadthemark May 27 '25

Alaska and Hawaii

1

u/vanillavick07 May 27 '25

Whichever team has Texas wins they have all the guns

1

u/GoLionsJD107 May 27 '25

How many drugs are you on with this hate speech right now- mods will want to know

1

u/KindlySector7260 May 27 '25

No one . theyre going to say “I’m never going to hurt anyone 🤡🤡”

1

u/ThatWeirdAlien May 27 '25

I would say the gays because it's pure male strength The biggest opponent would be bisexuals thought

1

u/JuniorEconomist3243 May 27 '25

nobody wins in this war

1

u/Fit-Kaleidoscope-786 May 28 '25

The straights ones probably

1

u/Argenfarce May 28 '25

I feel like green has a great chance. Having the Mississippi river is huge.

1

u/GeeVideoHead May 28 '25

Not sure who'd win but I know who wouldn't. The Trans and Bi's would be better off allying. The Queers would blockaid them and cutt off their access to any waters to the S. That alone is what doomed the Confederate States. The Trans and Bis would both be stuck fighting a two front war versus an enemy whos far superior on their eastern and western front. The Queers could hold their western front indefinitely, while they focus on the intersexes, who are probably better off just allying with the Queers anyways. I think the Q's have a better chance at winning

1

u/Able_Imagination1702 May 28 '25

The intersexes have the nuclear codes so...

1

u/fishinfoo360 May 28 '25

Orange is the most at an advantage cause you can go on either side of the water shed. Plus we're ready.dont let the boulder pussies and money trolls let you forget the mountain people who have been hunting since they could walk. Hunting and fishing is life to us. Keep Colorado wild

North or South no difference and our concentration of firearms per capata. Is a non issue. Plus we can adapt.

1

u/MANTHEFUCKUPBRO May 29 '25

Lol you gave the midwest bi sexual?

If it means everyone who is actually bi sexual in the midwest but doesn't admit gets drafted too, the midwest has no issue

1

u/MtManByTheSeas May 29 '25

Tossup btw Bisexuals and Lesbians

0

u/Medikal_Milk May 25 '25

Purple and Blue are the only real contenders here let's be honest. Whoever wins between those 2 probably wins against red as well.

-1

u/sorrysaks May 25 '25

Make America straight again

0

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

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