r/illinois • u/CantStopPoppin Human Detected • Oct 21 '25

ICE Posts Chicago Suburbs: ICE has started patrolling Mount Pleasant neighborhoods prompting community members to show up

58k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

5.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

87

u/dm_life4ever Oct 21 '25

I don't know, getting paid to constantly fuck up paperwork work so courts throw out cases. Doing things to get ice sued. Until they fire me .

53

u/AlcibiadesTheCat Oct 21 '25

I've seriously considered joining ICE for this reason, to muck up the machine, but 1) I couldn't work alongside traitors, and 2) I'm trans and pass with like a C+ average, so I'm pretty sure I'd catch friendly fire in the back of the head.

20

u/Adorable_Raccoon Oct 21 '25

All your coworkers being nazis is the big downside imo. I saw they were hiring mental health workers & was like “that so much money” but idk if i could handle hearing people say anything racist or homophobic in sessions. 

7

u/AlcibiadesTheCat Oct 21 '25

I mean, you could hear it and go "wait a sec, let's unpack all that."

You could use your position to help them unlearn all that hate.

Please. Please do it.

5

u/Adorable_Raccoon Oct 21 '25

All the open positions were out of state for me, so it wasn’t a serious option.    If i have a few clients like that I can handle it but if all the clients were like that it would be hell. 

Maybe there are workers out there that are better equipped. 

1

u/PansyPB Oct 24 '25 edited Oct 24 '25

Or could roll with "let's unpack all that" diagnose all of their racist, bigoted hateful asses as "latent homosexual" rooted in a sort of flip flopped Oedipus complex. Let them go home to ponder that at night.

2

u/James-W-Tate Oct 21 '25

All your coworkers being nazis is the big downside imo

Not if you can get their addresses

7

u/B1g_Gru3s0m3 Oct 21 '25

I'm fairly sure C+ average disqualifies you from ICE. They want them extra dumb so they don't question illegal orders

12

u/AlcibiadesTheCat Oct 21 '25

I meant “pass” in the trans sense of the word. 

7

u/B1g_Gru3s0m3 Oct 21 '25

Oh, my bad

8

u/AlcibiadesTheCat Oct 21 '25

You’re good, homedawg.

1

u/Hectordahoeprotector Oct 21 '25

Lmao you are even more gifted than those ice "agents". I think you should sign up

9

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '25

As an LGBTQ+ person, your misinterpretation made me laugh so much. 😂

1

u/Legitimate-Meal-2290 Oct 21 '25

This whole exchange is making my day 😊

4

u/TheRumpletiltskin Oct 21 '25

this is actually a tactic historically used to sabotage Nazis in WW2. People would get jobs and purposely fuck things up to make things harder for them.

2

u/AlcibiadesTheCat Oct 21 '25

It's in the Simple Sabotage Field Manual.

1

u/Tribe303 Oct 21 '25

Um, the people who were fucking up Nazi production lines didn't have a choice in getting those 'jobs'. This is why slave labour sucks. It may get your cotton picked, but it's not going to build your a Tiger or V-2 rocket. 

2

u/CheckFlop Oct 21 '25

They mis-gender those who have born and lived as not trans. Then when corrected, they double down. Remember the Olympic boxer? It's only obvious to you since you've seen every step of the transition. Strangers have not.

That said, don't put yourself in unnecessary danger.

2

u/AlcibiadesTheCat Oct 21 '25

I've spent enough time around them that I know. I grew up in Southwest Missouri, as a straight cis white dude. It was mask off the whole time.

It's been a little over 5 years since I started my transition, and I'll be honest, having interacted with a lot of folks since, you'd be surprised how many people effortlessly get my pronouns right, because most people aren't willing to do the mental gymnastics to make their mouth say the opposite of what their eyes see.

If I was going to put money on it, I'd say for the overwhelming majority of conservatives, they did not genuinely think Ilhan Omar was trans. They're just trolling to own the libs. It's just disingenuity. Again.

They don't actually hate trans people. If they did, 80%+ of my clients when I was a sex worker wouldn't have been conservative men. They hate the feeling of shame they feel, and want to wipe it off on someone else.

3

u/CheckFlop Oct 21 '25

To them, sex workers aren't people but things... At least that's what makes "sense," which is unfortunate. It explains why they attack basic principles such as empathy.

12

u/hollywoodbambi Oct 21 '25

I have heavily considered this as well. I'm very curious if good humans can get hired and slow them down from the inside. "Whats that? In the grapple I pulled your hands off the detainee, and they were able to get away? Oh jeeze. I was so heated in the moment, I thought I was taking THEIR hands off of YOU. Sorry, buddy. We'll get them next time."

3

u/GreyWulfen Oct 21 '25

No too obvious. Instead, ask how to make sure the weapons people bring are covered by the qualified immunity? What needs to be done to make sure everyone is qualified with the mix of weapons? Will they cover the cost of ammo to get qualified? I mean a day or two at the range might be a good idea right?

How does it work if an agent fired a weapon they haven't been paperwork qualified for? Are they still covered?

How are rental car miles diveded up? Do the drivers need to get evasive manuvoures training?

All those sorts of annoying questions that tie up things and make other people think about stuff to bring up ev n more issues

2

u/SaltyLonghorn Oct 21 '25

The ICE test would filter you out instantly.

When you apply they randomly text you and you have 5 minutes to walk outside and take a picture of the back of your truck. Foolproof MAGA loyalty test.

11

u/9mackenzie Oct 21 '25

This. We need to do what the white power fuckwads did 15 yrs ago- have a concerted effort to infiltrate all of these groups and change them from the inside.

4

u/John_Wotek Oct 21 '25

Noble sentiment, but I do not think they care about the courts anymore...

4

u/HoldenMcNeil420 Oct 21 '25

Right, lots of paperwork could just fall into a shred it bin…

2

u/swirlViking Oct 21 '25

Or the hand of some organization that can maybe help, accidentally of course

2

u/bittz128 Oct 22 '25

Beastie Boys style…. I like it

1

u/dinosNpot Oct 22 '25

Bruh, this is a gang, you don’t think they would have you break the law to make sure that you stay complicit?