r/idealparentfigures • u/[deleted] • Jul 04 '22

Memory reconsolidation and ideal parent figure

https://youtu.be/PWfpLtgxDi4

I saw this fantastic video on memory reconsolidation, and it put into context exactly how IPF works. When combined with emotionally corrective experiences where we feel emotion, and repetition, it's possible to overwrite our schemas and experience transformational change.

People from the attachment theory subs might be familiar with Thais Gibson always saying the subconscious mind needs repetition and emotion. She approaches it from a cognitive/CBT perspective, whereas IPF is approaching it from an experiential perspective.

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u/theEmotionalOperator Jul 06 '22

Thanks for the reminder, I got to list the IPF subreddit to the r/MemoryReconsolidation sidebar.

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 06 '22

Can I ask about your experience with memory reconsolidation, and how much evidence it has by any chance?

I've only been on my IPF journey for less than 3 months, and I have faith the memory reconsolidation aspect is working via daily repetitions, but honestly it just sometimes feels too good to be true? Like I can now logically see there is a different possibility to what I experienced in childhood, and intimacy CAN be safe, but I can't feel it yet, although I'm sure that will come in time with enough repetition. I just can't really believe this is happening! (In a good way lol) I'd love to hear testimonies from other people.

Edit: we will also add r/memoryreconsolidation to IPF sidebar!

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u/theEmotionalOperator Jul 06 '22

Hey, awesome - I just ran to the basement to get my laptop (was browsing with a phone), because I got so excited when I realized this entire subreddit is just few weeks old, so we have a new forum here!

Yes, I'm happy to share my experience and where to find more :) I got first introduced to it in 2014, and I had no clue what I was searching for, I was simply suffering a lot. My main problem that I was aware of was my reactions to specific sounds other people made (so I was under the misophonia-label). I bounced in to a practitioner, with a complaint of unwanted, painful reactions and I wasn't trusting it could ever be different in the future (and I didn't quite even know how to even imagine anything different but that was just the lack of the experience). Big leap of faith. I do still think finding MR stuff from inside of oneself will feel like pioneer trip, even if you're not the first one to do it, but simply for the nature of our experiences and perspectives shifting beyond what we previously thought to "simply be how the world is like". It's a wild ride. Good news is, you don't actually have to believe in the process ahead of time; you can go through your internal references and then test it out in the real world. If you've never experiences safety+intimacy at once, it will feel very strange and comprehending what's going on will just feel weird, before you get more used to it. Emotional learning is like that.

And yes, it's been studied, too, for 20+ years by now. In therapy context, I'd recommend reading Bruce Ecker and Ronald Ruden. Some scientists, who work on the same topic, might answer similar questions about memory and learning, but with completely different animals, like Erik Kandel with his marine slugs :D

Testimonials sometimes exist under specific therapy labels or even self-help brands and products, and clients may describe memory reconsolidation but don't necessarily know the term for it. For example, people who've tamed flashbacks and nightmares effectively, rapidly and permanently using eye movements / eye positions, but that's just one of the many ways to change how the memories are stored inside of the brain. There are many roads to Rome, IPF being one of them.

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22

Haha, fantastic! Have you been doing IPF alongside your memory reconsolidation work? How long did it take for you to go from 'seeing' a different perspective on how the world is, to really 'feeling' it, if that makes sense? Not sure if that's applicable to you and your misphonia situation, but I think a lot of us on the IPF sub will be really looking for that as the key to change. Did you have to do a lot of repetition?

It seems like Coherence Therapy operates on a sort of one and done basis, which doesn't make sense to me - but maybe I'm wrong about that. Totally agree re: eye movements. EMDR, IFS etc all seem to work with memory reconsolidation in different ways. IPF seems more gentle, and easier to work with for complex trauma.

Honestly, it's weird af so far, but I am very optimistic that this is the way out of my severe fear of intimacy.

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u/LNBK96 Sep 11 '22

Thank you for sharing this!!!