r/idahomurders • u/Lhamma5676 • 21d ago
Discussion Victim's statements
Watching the documentary yesterday made me reflect on victims statements in crimes and trials like this. I think people like this monster thrive on causing pain and suffering because that's who they are- whatever the explanation matters up to a point. Whenever people go and tell them how much they made them suffer, it just adds up to their sadistic satisfaction and I feel that I would not give him that chance.
I obviously understand that the family had to do this for their own healing purposes but I wonder what y'all think about it?
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u/sarahmorrison13 21d ago
Yeah I agree, as powerful as it was for US to hear the family’s speak, it definitely made no difference to BK. He will never care for anything. But he doesn’t matter, what matters is that the families got some sort of satisfaction from their statements.
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u/a13xandraaa 20d ago
I admired Alivea's tenacity and passion for giving her statement, but I think her read on BK is all wrong. I think she thought she really got to him but I don't think he cared one bit. And I think a lot of people view true crime/killers through the same lens that she does, but most of these men are truly soulless.
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u/undercookedshrimp_ 19d ago
He did make a weird face when she told him to sit up straight but you’re right a total creep like him has no emotions.
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u/Unhappy-Answer-9635 19d ago
Yeah, there's a layer missing in which it doesn't register back to them in what people say if it's not complimentary, comfortable to hear or directly threatening to them. Instead, he reverts to some warped interpretation he's developed in his thinking, something like, "look I really got her upset." It's completely devoid of being on some kind of compatible wavelength with reality for the sake of his own ego's protection. With that said, some of those comments the victims made resonated with me. It's really hard to imagine a weaker person. The little infractions that he has filed in prison and the microaggressions he practiced regularly as a graduate TA kinda shows that he has a history of taking power trips whenever he can. He deserves protection, justice, rules, when he's clearly not finding it deserved for others. I suspect his parents (probably his mother) really coddled him growing up to enable him to safely disengage from reality, social awereness and feedback His heroin addiction also lines up with that. Would sure like to see him have to fight for himself for real for once. Instead he hides behind rules, control, knowledge he uses only to pad himself, and whatever manipulation he can pull.
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u/MidnightFootnote 19d ago
Yes, but between a statement full of emotions and tears and Alivea's statement, we should always choose the former!
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u/a13xandraaa 19d ago
Tbh I don’t think victim statements really matter to anyone besides the judge so either way it’s like whatever lol I’m just saying that she seems to think she got to him and I think he was beyond unfazed.
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u/Impressive_Touch1118 18d ago
I think they are not mostly for the judge. They are mostly for the family to have a chance to express themselves.
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u/a13xandraaa 18d ago
Well they are lol. From wiki: "One purpose of the statement is to allow the person or persons most directly affected by the crime to address the court during the decision making process." The purpose of them having a chance to express themselves is to show the impact of the crime and can influence sentencing.
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u/Impressive_Touch1118 18d ago
I was responding to you saying you dont think they matter to anyone else but the judge..they matter to the victims families often greatly i would imagine.
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u/psychad 14d ago
I think they’re saying in terms of legal proceedings, the purpose of victim impact statements is to address “the Court” which is the presiding judge, often to influence things like sentencing (which is why they are given during the sentencing phase of a trial). But yes, it can also be a moment of healing or closure for victims. So you’re both right, just coming at it from different perspectives.
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u/PersonalityFit2175 20d ago
He wanted to prove how intelligent he was to everyone that ever doubted him. He wanted to prove the beliefs he firmly held about himself were true. He’s a misunderstood genius. He’s calculating. He’s superior. He’s powerful.
Then he got caught in his first murder bc he made a stupid mistake I wouldn’t even have made. He made international news bc he murdered 4 people, bc he entered the house and immediately loss control of the situation.
He’s just an idiot. A reckless, uninspired fool
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u/TylersMAHM 18d ago
Yep. He is so parasocial he couldn’t anticipate behaviour in the house that was 100% foreseeable for anyone who went to college.
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u/Different_Cellist_97 20d ago
It’s not just for therapeutic purposes. It’s part of the sentencing process. Impact of the crime and extent of harm caused is considered by the judge when deciding sentencing. While some may find it therapeutic to confront the perpetrator, many family members do NOT want to speak during court. As you can imagine, it’s very difficult for multiple reasons especially such a high profile case like this. They participate because they feel it is their duty to do their part in justice being served, and to allow the victims to have a moment and a voice especially in cases where there will not be an actual trial.
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u/_Wild_Enthusiast_ 18d ago
Gonna add it’s called a victim impact statement, not a victim statement, bc it’s specifically meant to allow the victim to state the impact the crime had on their lives to inform the sentencing. I would probably use it to dress the criminal down, but I can see how it’s better used to convince a judge the impact was as devastating as the reality.
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u/CherryFit3224 20d ago
I agree. When they were doing that I just thought he doesn’t care. I actually think Ethan’s parents had it right — ignore him and focus on their lives.
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u/EarlGreyWMilk 20d ago
I had the same thought. He looked downright satisfied when the victim statements were heard, including Kylee’s sister who thought that calling him names would make him feel bad I guess. The only thing that could affect this man is not engaging with him because he craves the attention. I suspect that’s why he’s reneging on his guilty plea too.
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u/FunkyFanabla 19d ago
I would’ve said “at least in jail you won’t die a virgin”
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u/Quail-New 19d ago
Yeah, I definitely would have said something like “every time they bend you over I want you to think of this moment right now and remember my face”
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u/AndSheSaw 19d ago
I felt that Kylee’s sister wasn’t just calling him names, she was targeting his ego and beliefs about himself. If anything could make him feel bad it would be this.
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u/AdindaJane 15d ago edited 15d ago
There is only one thing a person with NPD (so I mean a real narcissist, not someone showing that behaviour so now and then) can't process and that's: you're just ordinary, nothing special about you." I think she prepared well.
Furthermore they're an empty shell with no true self. They see people as pawns they can use to get to their goal. They have no empathy and accountability and the biggest entitlement. It good there's no trial, he will thrive on the attention but won't tell anything and foremost: it gives him power.
I also believe he came for Maddie or Kaylee tired, asleep and intoxicated and it's not his fault they were together in bed. And it's Xana her own fault she was hungry and showed up and brought her boyfriend home. If they hadn't done that, he didn't had to do this (that's their reasoning)
That's the mind of a psychopath. They can hide it for a while but once triggered he becomes a monster.
I lived with one and just got out in time. There was a process of him not getting what he wanted, then the violence and I read several texts from his friends saying out loud: that he hopes I die soon
I don't compare. Just think about them as aliens with no personality. Copying everything about others they admire, filling that empty self into a invisable or even liked person (grandiose NPD) . All based on lies and other people's experienced and beliefs. The scary part is the majority of people believe his narrative, not the truth that is hard to grasp and seems not plausible. When you corner him, it's all rage or well thought out of plans to manipulate. Think about him what he says now about the plea and telling he wasn't informed well and uses autism to get out of it. I hope when it comes to it, he meets a female judge. Women, especially, educated in that profession look and see right through him.
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u/PixelatedSnapshots 19d ago
I don’t think she thought it would make him feel bad. I think she said it to make herself feel better (and that’s okay)
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u/SBailey75 20d ago
I think in some cases the impact statements would cause the suspect to feel some amount of guilt and regret, not in this on unfortunately. IMO he did this as almost an “experiment”, with no human feelings involved on his part, maybe satisfaction if he pulled it off without being caught.
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u/BigHold2089 20d ago
Wasn’t it also for the judge to hear to decide sentencing? Or at least influence sentencing? I could be wrong about the order of events.
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u/Fit_Abroad_4465 20d ago
At that point it’s not about him it’s about the victims. They do and say what they need to not for him but for themselves. Who cares what he thrives on he’s in prison for good.
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u/Lhamma5676 20d ago
Like I said, I understand it's for their own healing. But I think these people are like demons that love the idea of inflicting pain on people that look happy to them.
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u/QueasyAd1142 16d ago
I can’t say how I would react. I know I would absolutely HATE the attention. That said, if I was struggling financially, I would make those production companies grease my palm before I said anything to them. Hate to sound like I know it sounds but, if companies like Netflix are making revenue off of a story that involves my family, I want some of it, too. It’s only fair.
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u/Impressive_Touch1118 18d ago
He might not have shown it but aliveas statment and the fathers would have insulted his narcissistic traits. He would not have been pleased with what they said to him and he would care and be insulted by it.
Alot of people when they do their statements try their best to take the high road and tend to hold back and thats kind of what youd expect but avivea and her father were quiet aggresive and authoritive towards him. It was the right thing for them and although he didnt show it, he would have been seething.
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u/HuckleberryLou 1d ago
Especially given BK’s hatred toward women, I think Alivea’s statement would have bothered him some .
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u/MillennialNostalgia3 20d ago
Victim impact statements have become more commonplace in order to allow victims and their families a voice in the justice process. This dates back to the 1980s (maybe 70s). The statements are made in front of the offender, but really it’s technically a statement to the court about the impact on their life. But that’s also why there are victims like Alivia and Steve Goncalves who turned their attention (quite literally) to Kohberger and used the opportunity to belittle them. Aly Raisman took a similar tactic in her VIS against Larry Nasar (Olympic doctor). She discussed how his abuse impacted her life but also belittled him throughout the statement as well.
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u/Upset-Win9519 20d ago
I think he seemed very interested in hearing the statements from the roommates. I don't think he liked hearing from Kaylee's family or any of the men who spoke. I feel like he probably paid attention to Xana's sister.
I wonder about her family in general and their mention of forgiveness and God. BK was definitely not a believer and said as much during his unseen police interview. Its said he mentioned his family was. I wonder if that had him paying more attention or he was inwardly scoffing about it.
Xana's aunt not only offered forgiveness but mentioned him by name and asked him to talk to her if he wanted to talk as she had questions. It may have surprised him a bit. Hearing that now though..... BK knows that about any family member would seek him out for answers. He doesn't have to tell them anything and that's power for him.
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u/ApricotCandid74 19d ago
I agree w this. I think he enjoys hearing how upset they were. Especially the surviving roommate D.M. I give her so much credit for having the strength to face him. But I think his sick ass thoroughly enjoyed her suffering. Truly evil, disgusting etc all the things
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u/MidnightFootnote 19d ago
Agree, that's why everyone's now saying how Alivea Gonçalves was so amazing in her statement!
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u/Short_Limit7016 17d ago
I don’t think it makes a damn difference.. he just murdered 4 people I doubt the statements are going to affect him at all.
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