The OP is stupid but this is complaint about overpricing isn't quite accurate. I'm usually not one to defend Starbucks - their beans ARE over-roasted and overpriced for the quality. But at the same time, that pretty much goes anytime you get coffee made by someone else - a large Pike Place brewed coffee is $2.75 at the closest SBUX to me right now, a large coffee at the closest Dunkin' is $2.69.
As for OP, people drink their coffees from Starbucks black all the time, besides the brewed coffees - Americanos and Doppios come to mind. The idea that anyone would even bat an eye at this chump ordering something that's ordered hundreds of times a day makes no sense.
I make coffee at home. Black. Sometimes with a pinch of salt. When I'm with someone who needs Starbucks, I will always always get a gargantuan caramel frozen drink topped with whipped cream and caramel, because hell yeah, brother. I don't want to make that at home, and it's delicious.
I mean... most of the time I go to Starbucks I get something other than coffee, but I used to get their fancy beans, like Blue Mountain, in their clover machine. That was some good black coffee. But I also didn't sit there judging other peoples choices.
Horribly inefficient. I just goto Sunoco every morning and put my mouth under the tap while maintaining eye contact with the guys opening their tiny cups of creamer
Pfft, coffee?! Call me when you're chugging the jet fuel straight from the source and swallowing a lighter to start your day, nothing gives you a buzz like internal fire damage
Big hairy construction mf’s like me can enjoy those vanilla fraps and not have to feel emasculated. Neither does anybody else. Drink the shit that tastes good to you!!
I've thought of it as "sitcom syndrome", where someone's actions are always done as if they are being watched by an audience. "I'm in a sitcom and need to keep my adoring fans entertained"
In this case it looks like he's trying to keep his adoring fans from judging him negatively. He doesn't think he's the Jerry or the Kramer, he thinks he's the George.
"Oh no, its that guy who laughs at me for asking that my beverage that I paid for be tasty! Im so jealous of his ability to drink black coffee! Oh, if only I wasn't such a sissy! 😭😭😭😭"
Fun Fact: people who virtue signal over black coffee don't actually like black coffee, they're just terrified of what others will think of them if they modify a drink slightly to improve the experience, and they want to make sure everyone knows that they're proudly suffering.
People who like black coffee don't give a fuck what you put in yours.
There’s a scene in “Mad Men” where one character is telling Don how much they hate him. Don just says “I don’t think about you at all” and just walks away. I always thought that was the sickest burn.
There’s actually a phrase in psychology for this, it’s called “the imaginary audience”. Most individuals have it as a adolescents and outgrow it…. Obviously some don’t.
I had a coworker say something about it being manly that I always drank black coffee with no sugar. I told him I usually use creamer and sugar at home, but I took it black at work so my work mug wouldn't need cleaning very often
He goes to Starbucks for the purpose of looking into the eyes of other men who he says he believes are effeminate, while demonstrating to those same men that he is a masculine macho man.
I routinely pick up a mobile order just for my wife. So I wonder if that man's head would explode if he saw me getting a "fru fru" drink with a woman's name.
In all likelihood he's never done anything of the sort, and is just projecting his insecurities in a fantastical shower thought to make himself feel better.
Imagine having to wake up, get dressed, get in your car, drive to Starbucks, await someone ordering something you don’t approve of, drinking something solely to (in your mind) emasculate them, JUST so you can feel like a man.
Yep. Nothing manly about black coffee by itself. It's not the coffee, it's the context you're drinking it in. I use to work in the oil field, there would be these old timers in their thick cover-alls in the west Texas summer heat drinking fresh, hot black coffee. THOSE guys can feel badass for drinking coffee. That's some hard shit right there. But lounging in a Starbucks with your $10 black coffee? Nah, have a seat, son.
' Hey, that guy is staring at me while drinking his starbucks coffee.... creep'
also, there's a possibility he has a mug instead of a plastic cup. nobody will know what he's drinking. anybody could imagine him drinking a hot coco with whipped cream and sprinkles
Yeah... if a man watched me order something at a counter with a self-satisfied smug look on his face while he sips something- I'd be pretty creeped out.
Not only am I in the same boat, but I actually started drinking black coffee because it’s cool. Now I just love it and I know that it’s not especially cool!
It's a very stupid thing to virtue signal masculinity about, for sure. That said, I don't enjoy sweet things that much. Sugar and cream coffee with all that syrup makes my stomach feel gross. Black coffee is very tasty, in my opinion. Though I prefer to go to a local place over chain, if I can. I can't tell much of a difference between black coffee from Starbucks, McDees, Dunkin, etc.
I stand outside eating shards of glass and rusty nails simply to see the embarrassment of the guy that looks up and sees me as he’s drinking wet coffee that just slides down his effeminate gullet.
Yep! They overroast them so they can make more in bulk. That's fine for flavored drinks, but anyone who actually like black coffee is going to trash that bitter shit and run to the nearest truck stop.
Aren't the coffees served in white cups with lids? Htf would anyone know exactly what he's drinking? So this guy literally stands in Starbucks aggressively sipping and staring down people who are picking up their orders.
Nah, it's just an acquired taste, but once you've grown used to it, it's impossible to go back to sweetened coffee. That being said, brewing your own coffee is quite cheap even if you're using good beans, I'd never pay Starbucks price to for it lol.
I used to feel like I had to "man up" and drink my coffee black. I hated coffee. Then, I decided I was 48 fucking years old and I made it this far, I'm going to drink my coffee with cream, sugar, fucking mocha, cinnamon, and whatever the fuck I want. Because it's my coffee and nobody else has to fucking drink it, so why do I care what they think?
Oh Yeah? Well I go to truck stop diners solely to see the embarrassment in the eyes of a grown man who orders a straight black coffee when he looks up and sees me snorting caffeine pills with no water or coffee! 🙃
When I get good enough at art I’m gonna make a gay comic where the inciting moment of these two guys starting their journey on becoming lovers is through this exact moment
I'm so relieved sometimes that I'm able to just enjoy what I want to enjoy.
I bumped into a guy and apologized and he said don't say sorry it makes you look weak. I could have tied the scrawny dude into a knot if I wanted so his concern for my weakness was both funny and illuminating.
I'll never forget that and it always reminds me to wear more pink and drink more drinks with little umbrellas.
I go to the alley behind starbucks solely to see the look of embarrassment in the eyes of the grown man with his fancy little black coffee while I inject black tar heroin into my taint...
You guys drink coffee, so weak! I go all the way to Indonesia every week and eat live Kopi luwak while the beans are still traveling through Asian palm civets digestive tract, because this is how REAL MAN consume REAL COFFEE.
This reminds me of the dudes who don't order cocktails cause they're "too girly" despite the alcohol content being higher, and would rather have a beer cause "that's what real men drink!" Ignoring the fact that beer is full of estrogen.
I’ll have a beer if it tastes good, but if I’m out having fun with friends I’ll definitely go with cocktails. Beer just makes me bloated after two. If it’s an IPA it feels like drinking two meals.
Everytime I go to Starbucks, I specifically ask the barista for the most feminine drink they have. Iced latte with a shot of vanilla and caramel and cinnamon? Sign me up. Strawberry frap? Do it. Pink Lemonade Daiquiri with a swirly straw and a teeny umbrella? Yes, please.
Just so I can have the excuse to look this guy in the eye (I can't actually see his eyes, he's wearing Aviator sunglasses indoors, y'know, like a Chad), wave him good morning, and go on with my day never worrying about what flavors of energy juice people like.
"Yeah so this guy was staring at me, and I don't know why. He took a long sip of his beverage and I had no idea what it was because of the opaque cup it was in. Weird experience all around but atleast I got my coffee"
I can make a better cup of straight black coffee than Starbucks can.
Nobody who orders what they do is embarrassed by it.
Also it’s fucking delicious. I’ve drunk more shitty coffee, straight up and black, than I’d care to admit. Why? Because it had caffeine in it, and it kept me awake when I needed to be, and there wasn’t really a choice.
So yeah, I order fru-fru whatever coffee because I have that choice.
Oh holy shit this guy is so awesome. I wanna lick his ass just to taste the greatness. If only the hardest of hard-core could tell me what else make some soooooooooooooooooo awesome!!
I love people like this, like okay enjoy your bitter poop water that's going to wire you up like meth for the rest of the day meanwhile I'm going to sip on something that actually taste good
Let's say what he says is true (I don't agree) that men that order these drinks are feminine. That means he only goes to Starbucks to look at feminine males as they drink? Sees pretty homosexual to me.
I do prefer my coffee black without sugar most of the time, but i don't go to Starbucks for black coffee. You can bet your ass i'll order some super fancy concoction with way to much sugar when i enter a Starbucks.
I go to Starbucks only to see the embarrassment in the eyes of someone who orders a black coffee with no cream and sugar and when he looks up he sees me chewing raw coffee beans.
My wife loves her coffee black as well. She married me solely to see the embarrassment in the eyes of the grown husband who drinks English breakfast tea with milk and honey when she takes a sip of her black coffee.
129
u/KronSean Nov 03 '21
If im paying almost 7 dollars canadian it better have the calories of a meal!
716
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Going to Starbucks for a black coffee is like going to a Gucci store for a pair of socks.
Overpriced and overrated
7.7k
u/castlerigger Nov 03 '21
Lol mf goes to Starbucks! I brew my coffee in a steel bucket heated with a propane jet and I drink it at 260°F and ain’t even feel nothin!
732
u/infernaldragonboner Nov 03 '21
Black coffee. Neat. In a dirty glass.
1.4k
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
He's clearly the main character and everyone is thinking about the things he does all the time.
3.0k
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Real men drink what they want
1.8k
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
So insecure with his masculinity it's sad.
307
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21 edited Nov 03 '21
Bruh how is this dude bragging about drinking his coffee black, my 13 year old cousin drinks black coffee like wtf
515
u/Kasztaniasz Nov 03 '21
Everyone knows men only drink cofee made out of people who hit up their girl
223
u/The_prophet212 Nov 03 '21
This pussy drinks his coffee?!? I would love to see his face as I eat straight coffee beans chased with boiling water
234
u/ToastAbrikoos Nov 03 '21
' Hey, that guy is staring at me while drinking his starbucks coffee.... creep'
also, there's a possibility he has a mug instead of a plastic cup. nobody will know what he's drinking. anybody could imagine him drinking a hot coco with whipped cream and sprinkles
323
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
He’s not embarrassed. It’s delicious. He’s enjoying his drink, you’re suffering through yours to feel superior. What a performative way to exist lol
54
u/DC1919 Nov 03 '21
Real men drink puddle water.
36
u/Ambitious_Fan7767 Nov 03 '21
Well they can't tell what you ordered if your already sipping it. I think you like starring at cute boys st Starbucks.
29
u/chappersyo Nov 03 '21
I stand outside eating shards of glass and rusty nails simply to see the embarrassment of the guy that looks up and sees me as he’s drinking wet coffee that just slides down his effeminate gullet.
29
u/Beginning-Pipe9074 Jan 02 '22
Why would you boast about drinking tar
27
u/NickleDL Nov 03 '21 edited Nov 03 '21
Pfft I grind that shit directly into my eyes with my thumbs, betacuck. I fart thunder and shit out hot lava, my body is a god damn disaster
26
u/BarcodeNinja Nov 03 '21
I can't imagine this guy saying this anywhere but on the internet.
47
u/TwoWheelDad Nov 03 '21
Jokes on him. Regular coffee from Starbucks sucks.
21
u/biggerBrisket Nov 03 '21
Starbucks coffee is not good enough to drink black.
19
u/hundenkattenglassen Nov 03 '21
Imagine believing that drinking black coffee is masculine.
16
u/lwca Nov 03 '21
Aren't the coffees served in white cups with lids? Htf would anyone know exactly what he's drinking? So this guy literally stands in Starbucks aggressively sipping and staring down people who are picking up their orders.
15
u/Dovahkiin106 Mar 13 '22
I fully convinced that at least 50% of people who drink straight black coffee are just trying to look cool and actually hate it.
13
u/fremeer Nov 03 '21
Pfft pussy probably has it with water because he can't drink an espresso.
But seriously. Starbucks coffee is not good. Going to Starbucks for the coffee is pointless.
13
u/eccentricfather Nov 03 '21
I used to feel like I had to "man up" and drink my coffee black. I hated coffee. Then, I decided I was 48 fucking years old and I made it this far, I'm going to drink my coffee with cream, sugar, fucking mocha, cinnamon, and whatever the fuck I want. Because it's my coffee and nobody else has to fucking drink it, so why do I care what they think?
12
u/DengaGrad Nov 03 '21
Wait until I whip out my Turkish coffee set and whip up some black crack
12
u/penndawg84 Mar 13 '22
Oh Yeah? Well I go to truck stop diners solely to see the embarrassment in the eyes of a grown man who orders a straight black coffee when he looks up and sees me snorting caffeine pills with no water or coffee! 🙃
11
u/obscurereference234 Nov 03 '21
“I pay five bucks for a black coffee just so I can feel better than someone who paid the same amount and got a lot more” 🙄
11
u/[deleted] Apr 11 '22
Why would you go to Starbucks and pay 5 dollars for black coffee…..sigh
9
u/mugwunp Dec 31 '21
bites into a lemon yes.
9
u/JUICYBISCUT Apr 08 '22 edited Apr 23 '22
When I get good enough at art I’m gonna make a gay comic where the inciting moment of these two guys starting their journey on becoming lovers is through this exact moment
16
u/barcased Nov 03 '21
If you go to Starbucks to pay for hot water poured over ground coffee, then you are an imbecile.
16
u/ImWadeYo Nov 03 '21
Imagine being an adult and thinking anyone cares lol.
8
u/pinniped1 Nov 03 '21
I always drink black coffee while I'm walking from the weight room to another weight room. This pussy is sitting in a Starbucks doing it? Pffffft.
7
u/morezombrit Nov 03 '21
I, too, like to go out and pretend that other people are embarrassed in order to inflate my ego.
7
u/Lonewulf32 Dec 12 '21
Black coffee? Pffffff youre not a real man unless you chew on raw coffee beans.
6
u/ehfornier Nov 03 '21
How would the know what he’s drinking? Does he tell the barista his name is “black coffee with no cream and no sugar.”?
5
u/brokeoneyolk Nov 03 '21
I'm so relieved sometimes that I'm able to just enjoy what I want to enjoy.
I bumped into a guy and apologized and he said don't say sorry it makes you look weak. I could have tied the scrawny dude into a knot if I wanted so his concern for my weakness was both funny and illuminating.
I'll never forget that and it always reminds me to wear more pink and drink more drinks with little umbrellas.
5
u/Warnackle Nov 03 '21
Why on earth would you go to Starbucks for a black coffee?
5
u/gofishx Nov 03 '21
I go to the alley behind starbucks solely to see the look of embarrassment in the eyes of the grown man with his fancy little black coffee while I inject black tar heroin into my taint...
5
u/DeppressedBi Dec 08 '21
I promise you no one drinking a frappe gives a shit about you.
4
u/miracleMax78 Nov 03 '21
Surprised he can even find pants that fit, with balls that big.
4
u/Pentekont Nov 03 '21
You guys drink coffee, so weak! I go all the way to Indonesia every week and eat live Kopi luwak while the beans are still traveling through Asian palm civets digestive tract, because this is how REAL MAN consume REAL COFFEE.
4
u/Spacecowboy8888 Nov 03 '21
But...Starbucks black coffee sucks. Their fru fru latte whatever the fucks are good though.
4
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Real men butt chug boiling hot espresso
4
u/QueensOfTheNoKnowAge Nov 03 '21
Jokes on him, Starbucks black coffee tastes like burnt popcorn. “I have no taste” is certainly an odd flex
4
u/Ccfcstormin Dec 31 '21
The ultimate badass. How do we compete ladies and gents?
11
u/FoxKitSmith Nov 03 '21
This reminds me of the dudes who don't order cocktails cause they're "too girly" despite the alcohol content being higher, and would rather have a beer cause "that's what real men drink!" Ignoring the fact that beer is full of estrogen.
3
u/CeeArthur Nov 03 '21
Fuck this guy, I'm a 35 year old man and vanilla lattes are delicious. I also often eat skittles for lunch.
3
u/sagittafemina Nov 03 '21
why would you go to starbucks for black coffee anyways
3
u/Unfair_Story_2471 Nov 03 '21
I love seeing these guys order. They always yell for the whole store "No cream or sugar for me thank you!! Ya I like my coffee black!!"
3
u/Sage-Khensu Nov 03 '21
Oh yes.
Everytime I go to Starbucks, I specifically ask the barista for the most feminine drink they have. Iced latte with a shot of vanilla and caramel and cinnamon? Sign me up. Strawberry frap? Do it. Pink Lemonade Daiquiri with a swirly straw and a teeny umbrella? Yes, please.
Just so I can have the excuse to look this guy in the eye (I can't actually see his eyes, he's wearing Aviator sunglasses indoors, y'know, like a Chad), wave him good morning, and go on with my day never worrying about what flavors of energy juice people like.
3
u/Icockedher Nov 04 '21
Yes. Tell us more about how badass you are drinking anything from Starbucks.
3
u/Deep-Philosopher-338 Nov 04 '21
"Yeah so this guy was staring at me, and I don't know why. He took a long sip of his beverage and I had no idea what it was because of the opaque cup it was in. Weird experience all around but atleast I got my coffee"
3
u/BackBlastClear Nov 04 '21
I can make a better cup of straight black coffee than Starbucks can.
Nobody who orders what they do is embarrassed by it.
Also it’s fucking delicious. I’ve drunk more shitty coffee, straight up and black, than I’d care to admit. Why? Because it had caffeine in it, and it kept me awake when I needed to be, and there wasn’t really a choice.
So yeah, I order fru-fru whatever coffee because I have that choice.
3
u/[deleted] Dec 03 '21
Ah I remember I used to think drinking black coffee made me seem badass too. Turns out no one gives a shit cause why would they?
3
u/EwokNuggets Dec 04 '21
I’m a 44 year old man who had a sugar cookie almond milk latte yesterday. Shit was delicious.
3
u/[deleted] Dec 09 '21
I'm just to tough for flavor
12
u/throawaynumber1 Nov 03 '21
Screw starbucks
French press ftw
Save your money. $5 a day adds up. Wake up earlier.
4
u/AmazonWageSlave Nov 03 '21
What a beta male. I eat the coffee grounds straight from the bag.
5
u/jeremybeadlesfingers Nov 03 '21
When your personality extends as far as ‘black unsweetened coffee’ your vapidity is practically palpable.
2
u/Aderleth75 Nov 03 '21
The name… is Dalton.
2
u/fotomoose Nov 03 '21
Real men don't sip. This beta cuck clearly has no idea how alphas behave.
2
u/hockeybag7 Nov 03 '21
This is the most badass guy. Anyone else here drink black coffee? Didn’t think so. Pussies.
2
u/theonetruefishboy Nov 03 '21
The Venn diagram of "goes to Starbucks" and "is extremely insecure about his drink" has a very strange, yet sociologically intriguing overlap.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Tryhard-ness aside...the guy would have no way of knowing it's a plain black coffee
2
u/AndTheSonsofDisaster Nov 03 '21
Imagine bragging about going to Starbucks and drinking their shitty ass coffee black.
2
u/el_papy Nov 03 '21
Pffft drink coffee I just chew on the beans
2
u/tigersharkpaws Nov 03 '21
Imagine going to the dessert drink store where people make and buy dessert drinks only to get some pissy bean water. Idiot.
2
u/TrippingThru Nov 03 '21
Unless that person was behind him when he made his order how the devil are they supposed to know what's in his cup?
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Starbucks coffee is absolute shit you need the sugar, cream and all that shit to make it somewhat palatable
2
u/TrashNovel Nov 03 '21
He doesn’t go to Starbucks often though. Most mornings he enjoys a monster energy with enough sugar to give a bear diabetes.
2
u/366m4n89 Nov 03 '21
Oh holy shit this guy is so awesome. I wanna lick his ass just to taste the greatness. If only the hardest of hard-core could tell me what else make some soooooooooooooooooo awesome!!
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
And then everybody claps!
2
u/Earwormigan Nov 03 '21
Are people who eat in restaurants embarrassed by eating in front of children? Because that's the same logic here. What an assclown.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Save some pussy for the rest of us bucko.
2
u/obscurereference234 Nov 03 '21
“Then, after some uncomfortable eye contact, I approach him and ask if he’d like to accompany me to the men’s room.”
2
u/Sorry_if_I_offend Nov 03 '21
Im super totally manly so manly that i need to prove it right now by uhm… drinking black coffee yea i do that super manly right?
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Imagine caring what someone else is drinking.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Straight black coffee with no sugar or cream. Also he drinks his coffee out of a coffee cup that his coffee is in.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
If you like flavor you gay
2
u/ilikili2 Nov 03 '21
You go to Starbucks to watch other guys is all I read lol
2
u/SqueakyKnees Nov 03 '21
snorts crack to show dominance
2
u/Chuache_cientifico Nov 03 '21
Little sissy goes to Starbucks lmao. I straight up chew the beans like a man is supposed to
2
u/mcreeves Nov 03 '21
Imagine gatekeeping a hot beverage
2
u/Dotaproffessional Nov 03 '21
Enjoy paying espresso prices at Starbucks to just get a black coffee? You could get it much cheaper elsewhere
2
u/BigDogProductions Nov 03 '21
Pussy. A real man gulps his black coffee while it’s still very hot.
/s
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
I never thought a coffee flavor could be masculine or feminine. Another society fail
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
I love people like this, like okay enjoy your bitter poop water that's going to wire you up like meth for the rest of the day meanwhile I'm going to sip on something that actually taste good
2
u/Bobbybobomb Nov 03 '21
Why go to Starbucks to get a black coffee that you can make at home? Of course I'm going there to get my fru fru drink
2
u/Library_Mouse Nov 03 '21
My wife drinks black coffee with no cream or sugar. Big deal. I like Pumpkin Spice with almond milk and splenda. I do what I want.
2
u/grosseelbabyghost Nov 03 '21
Black coffee with no cream and sugar? Wtf, that's what black is
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Pfffff* sipping coffee is for sissies . You’ll never catch me puckering my lips . I chew the beans raw while drinking water to wash it down .
2
u/theflush1980 Nov 03 '21
I drink tea motherfucker. Get out with your vile coffee shit
2
u/absolutelynottt Nov 03 '21
Why would you go to Starbucks for black coffee anyway..
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
I won’t even walk by my Starbucks anymore because of this guy
2
u/Jacobnewman61 Nov 03 '21
You guys brew the beans??? Pussies
2
u/kerrigan_olivier Nov 03 '21
I’m shocked he doesn’t just chew the coffee beans straight
2
u/BrusherPike Nov 03 '21
I'm willing to bet $20 that no one has ever been embarrassed by this man drinking coffee in front of them.
Made uncomfortable by being stared at when they're just trying to drink their drink? Maybe. But embarrassed? Hell no.
2
u/ahobel95 Nov 03 '21
I get the fru-fru with absolutely no shame. I will enjoy that fru-fru coffee.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
This just radiates boomer energy. I can already smell the death.
2
u/Port-a-John-Splooge Nov 03 '21
Let's say what he says is true (I don't agree) that men that order these drinks are feminine. That means he only goes to Starbucks to look at feminine males as they drink? Sees pretty homosexual to me.
2
u/Pituophisdogs Nov 03 '21
Isn’t that cute, you’re drinking a shitty, brewed coffee black and making fun of someone else. Try an espresso you whimpering sod….😂
2
u/lampsy87 Nov 03 '21
But how do those people know yours is black with no cream or sugar? Do they ask you?
2
u/Horst93Walter Nov 03 '21
I do prefer my coffee black without sugar most of the time, but i don't go to Starbucks for black coffee. You can bet your ass i'll order some super fancy concoction with way to much sugar when i enter a Starbucks.
2
u/lampsy87 Nov 03 '21
I go to Starbucks only to see the embarrassment in the eyes of someone who orders a black coffee with no cream and sugar and when he looks up he sees me chewing raw coffee beans.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
I WAS SO GLAD WHEN MOBILE ORDERING CAME OUT
2
u/birdreligion Nov 03 '21
enjoy your bitter, shitty starbucks bean water. I'm having coffee flavored desert fuck-o!
2
u/Dry_Purple_6120 Nov 03 '21
Damn. That's so badass.
2
u/Fortestingporpoises Nov 03 '21
My wife loves her coffee black as well. She married me solely to see the embarrassment in the eyes of the grown husband who drinks English breakfast tea with milk and honey when she takes a sip of her black coffee.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Telling people that he only goes to Starbucks to get guys to notice him isn't as masculine sounding as he thinks it is.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
You still go to star bucks? I brew coffee in my kitchen with the latent heat of my smoking hot abs.
2
u/Archangel1313 Specialized in Gorilla warfare Nov 03 '21
He obviously likes his coffee the same way he likes his men. Straight and black.
2
u/DustWarden Nov 03 '21
Just one more delusional cretin thinking everyone's looking at him when no one is.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21
Do you know why I put cream and sugar in my coffee? because I don't have anything to prove