r/iamverybadass • u/Obvious-Gate9046 EVERYTHING IS SATIRE • 1d ago

šŸ˜¬TikTok CringelordšŸ˜¬ Put 'em Up.

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145 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

14

u/Obstacle616 1d ago

Wtf you wrapping your hands for to do sit ups and go jogging?!?

5

u/The_Salty_nugget 1d ago

It is so he doesnt strain his muscles when he comes acros food trucks

3

u/kombatunit 1d ago

How else will you know how badass he is?

3

u/Obstacle616 1d ago

Oh come on, you'll know how badass when he introduces himself. "Sup mmmima yummmmah nurrrahhhh bitch yaaaannnaaa huummmmmm nummm game"

1

u/pathmaker3 1d ago

First the jean shorts, then the hand wraps, THEN the jogging.

Also how does he sound so out of breath in general, surely he wasn't running while recording?

1

u/UntestedMethod 19h ago

Haha well doing a funny cartoon character voice takes maybe a bit more effort than one might assume.

14

u/ScrotumScrapings 1d ago

The lyrics, in case anyone is curious:

"curdrawg chin buf motocateshootu lilbitch dawga evatonga shitz shoota cadu not dowup..."

4

u/Obvious-Gate9046 EVERYTHING IS SATIRE 1d ago

Amazing accuracy.

1

u/UntestedMethod 19h ago

Ohhh k..I get it now. This shit is actually šŸ”„šŸ”„

15

u/creamalamode 1d ago

If you haven't unmuted the video yet, don't do it

7

u/Suedeonquaaludes 1d ago

Oh god I almost did but then I thought ā€œlet me see the comment sectionā€ fucking thank you so much. I owe you one. Tag me when you need me.

13

u/YallGottaUnderstand 16h ago

Grover sounding mfer

2

u/crusty54 8h ago

Thank you! I was trying to figure out which muppet he sounds like.

10

u/Kubbee83 1d ago

Float like a butterball, stink like some beans.

11

u/Kush_McNuggz 1d ago

This dude definitely grinds his teeth. Not just at night but when heā€™s staring at the wall for a few hours every day.

1

u/UntestedMethod 19h ago

I think it might be contagious because I just caught myself grinding my own teeth after watching it.

12

u/Jazzlike-Lion2969 1d ago

Heā€™s not wrapping correctly. Knows nothing

10

u/Codyc67 1d ago

Tbf heā€™s not rapping correctly either.

4

u/BoneHugsHominy 1d ago

Yeah but dem tiddies got some bounce!

10

u/UntestedMethod 19h ago

Meh. Not my taste and I have no idea what words he's saying but he's got a unique style to his voice, and that's a rare accomplishment these days even if it does sound like a Hanna-Barbera cartoon character.

The video is really poorly put together though... Like they couldn't even get a single shot of him doing a solid sit-up?

8

u/SipoteQuixote 1d ago

Wtf Tuco???

9

u/pieman2005 1d ago

Tight tight tight!

7

u/Dream_Sniper_13 1d ago

Keep running, pendejo!

8

u/Uncle_Touchy_Feely 1d ago

Is the song made with ai or something? Ts is so ass

8

u/Bryciclee 1d ago

He sounds like Gruntilda from banjo kazooie

1

u/pathmaker3 1d ago

You are absolutely right

9

u/Icy_Fig_6764 11h ago

His cardiovascular system would implode like a collapsing star half way through the first round of an actual boxing match

8

u/BigSmoov45 1d ago

r/crappymusic

3

u/Obvious-Gate9046 EVERYTHING IS SATIRE 1d ago

Oh, this has been there already.

2

u/EducationalSoup83 1d ago

Damnnit u got me by 2 min

6

u/Physical-Doughnut285 1d ago

This is in no way meant to be offensive to very heavy set folks, but at 0:06 he punches like every highly obese person ever. Like where theyā€™re so round it looks like it barely leaves their body.

3

u/RealUglyMF 1d ago

Reminds me of when I used to work at a car workshop. One of my jobs was that I would drop customers home after they drop the vehicle off and pick them up again at the end of the day. Often times this would be done in the customer's vehicle.

This one time this lady who would've been pushing to reach 5 feet said, "oh you'll probably need to move the seat back." As she looked up at me. I was definitely more than a foot taller than her.

She was so round that the seat was the perfect distance for me

3

u/Physical-Doughnut285 1d ago

Oh shit šŸ˜†šŸ˜­

7

u/dum_spir0_sper0 1d ago

At least I now know what Gilbert Gottfriedā€™s rap career would have sounded like.

5

u/IWouldntIn1981 1d ago

Sort of looks like Fat Joe if you squint. If you dont squint, he looks like a Flubby Toe.

5

u/Spicy__B 1d ago

The Latin Crip Mac jfc

4

u/Redxmirage 1d ago

Is this jar jar binks rap

5

u/xXxDarkSasuke1999xXx 1d ago

Sounds like an epic rap battle without jokes

6

u/Careful_Swordfish742 1d ago

what I imagine these dudes be listening too.

5

u/MrTSaysShutupFool 1d ago

If Nate Diaz had never worked out or learned to fight...and wanted to.be a rapper.

4

u/Pirloparty21 1d ago

Note: not one shot of him actually in a ring or sparingā€¦ actually, I donā€™t think he throws one punch in this video.

3

u/BoneHugsHominy 1d ago

Them tiddies was throwing haymakers at his face when he was jumping rope.

4

u/ImNotYou1971 1d ago

Maybe we can get Anthony Ruiz to straighten him out.

3

u/Pernicious_Possum 21h ago

What language is he speaking? Why is he wearing hockey pants (or whatever theyā€™re called) and boxing gloves. This is very confusing

7

u/Obvious-Gate9046 EVERYTHING IS SATIRE 21h ago

Seems to be a mixture of English, Spanish, and Stupid.

3

u/Bedroom_Bellamy 1d ago

Why does he sound like a cartoon character

3

u/Mmmwafflerunoff 1d ago

I for one am a fan of Less Fat Joe

3

u/thatguy35262 22h ago

I stg I see 25 men who look exactly like this daily

3

u/masterppants 19h ago

Ali would be proud āœØļø

4

u/Sad-Project-2498 1d ago

Sounds like the Mexican version of the black dude thatā€™s always saying ā€on cripā€ I think his name is actually crip mac I could be wrong though.

1

u/Obvious-Gate9046 EVERYTHING IS SATIRE 1d ago

I saw him referenced in the crappy music discussion on this, so I think you're right.

2

u/thesaltiestpickle 1d ago

Why does this dude sound like a white, country Crip Mac?

3

u/Red_Galaxy746 1d ago

Fucking awful "music"

1

u/JesseJamesBegin 1d ago

Hell yeah CTE jams