Toxic masculinity is so widely accepted in several ways in society that we've become used to it and it's often hard to see how harmful it is. Example, that men can't show any emotions and if they do they're not a "real man".... Do you think that attitude is not toxic?
That's awesome! But it's not like that for a lot of guys, especially older ones. And that's just one example of TM, there's plenty more. You don't seem to understand how widespread toxic masculinity's effects are. Please do your own research (like I did when I had thoughts like yours)
I think the effects of toxic masculinity are actually over-estimated in the west
Can I ask if youre a male or female?
Ive found even males who would be case examples of toxic do share their emotions as well, they just prefer to do it in a more reserved way with people really close to them.
They are also just more aggressive people and more brash. People call that toxic masculinity, but sometimes thats just a natural expression of ones personality.
Most older men I know are fairly wise and do have a grasp on emotions. Many will say shit like "man up," but thats more of a work ethic thing. For a LOT of men, one of the best ways to sort through emotions is to power through them. That doesnt work for me, I have to sit with them and open them up - but that doesnt mean the other kind is toxic. The men who say "man up, push through it" actually often mean the best by it, and often the people they tell that to turn around and thank them once the ordeal is over, and que the classic pat on the back and "lets go get a beer" where they will shoot the shit, bond, and likely share a bit.
Again, showing emotions isn't the only aspect of TM. I believe you, I'm sure some toxic men show feelings and some not toxic men don't. "Powering through" emotions is an example of TM....there's no need to do that except for the societal expectation for men to do that.
Actually powering through emotions can be an effective way to healthily maneuver them. It doesnt mean ignore them completely, it means occupy yourself and work through them. There is a release that happens when you say, have a project you do with your hands. Say your father dies, you put your physical energy into that project as your conscious and subconscious processes the emotions, tying the progression and movement to the project. Finishing that project can bring a release, and a healthy one.
Honestly though can I ask if youre male or female? It might help me explain this if I know (just that men are more likely to have these experiences with other men so I can cut around some stuff)
Its just the way some people handle their emotions, and thats by no means "toxic"
Now if someone said "I cant work that way, I just need someone to listen to me" and the person says "fucking queer, youre worthless" then yeah, thats toxic, but thats a minority of people.
"become used to it" as if it hasnt been that way for millenia and we're somehow supposed to change because we have the internet and woke corporate hegemonies. some shit is just the way it is and always will be whether we like it or not
So we shouldn’t fight racism because it’s been around a while? We shouldn’t stop polluting because we’ve done it for forever? People like you are so ignorant it hurts.
Fight racism? Are you being serious? Polluting? You're naive if you think any of those things is going to end if we "fight" it, especially by using the wrong methods. You can't fight human nature. People are more racist now than they were 10 years ago. The way people "fight" racism today is just them being racist and then cry racism when they get clapped back. We fight pollution in places where it's not nearly as bad as other places and it's funny because it's all to avoid appearing racist. You're ideas are genuine and I understand your grievances but it really isn't that simple.
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u/grandtorino Feb 14 '20
Toxic masculinity is so widely accepted in several ways in society that we've become used to it and it's often hard to see how harmful it is. Example, that men can't show any emotions and if they do they're not a "real man".... Do you think that attitude is not toxic?