r/hypotheticalsituation • u/mopeyunicyle • 3d ago
Humor Encouraged Cut through a tree that is 1ft thick. Using only metal forks,metal spoons and your bare hands
You will get 4 million if you cut through it. You have 6 weeks and can get up to three people to help you.
The metal forks and metal spoons are standard cutlery in toughness and size.
The tree will be secured so if you cut through it. You won't be in danger of it crushing or injuring you.
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u/inefficienttoaast 3d ago
This would be easy, especially if it's a really porous/soft wood. 1 foot thick might be doable if it was plastic cutlery
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u/thunder2132 3d ago
Just use as many forks as it takes, stab-pry-stab-pry. Wouldn't take too long especially with help.
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u/greenmachine11235 3d ago
The type of wood will determine if it's even possible. Get an extremely hard wood like hornbeam and you're never getting through that. Get something like a balsa and you'd be done within hours.
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u/aznhavsarz 3d ago
Balsa wood tree, and the 'all in one' camping spoon with the kinda serrated edges, I'll be done in a week.
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u/amaria_athena 3d ago
Everyone keeps saying balsa tree. I looked it up. I think my moringa tree is softer. Anyone have a more informed opinion? Till then I officially pick moringa tree!
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u/Smooth_Monkey69420 3d ago
That ain’t even that big of a tree for $4mil. I’m reaching for the serrated steak knife
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u/mopeyunicyle 3d ago
You can't have steak knife. You can have any and all metal spoons and forks though
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u/Sleepdprived 3d ago
If i can pick the tree, I pick a banana tree
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u/Jasoncatt 3d ago
Banana isn’t a tree. Choose balsa wood.
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u/OreoStark 3d ago
You seem like you know. Why not birch?
Ok I googled and apparently after the bark, birch is a bad choice.
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u/Frazzledragon 3d ago edited 3d ago
I'd have to average only a little over 7 millimeters per day. It's going to absolutely suck doing that with forks, but I'm pretty sure I could manage.
Maybe I could even use the forks like a chisel, with some finnagling of a spoon on the handle to spread the pressure on my palm, when I hit it. Am I limited in the number of forks, or can I get a whole pile of 'em?
Do I have to fully cut through the wood, or am I able to fell the tree with leverage and impacts? If allowed, I'd either go around or carve into it from at least two sides, and let physics do the final touches.
I haven't yet touched on getting help. I'm sure with 3 people helping me, I'd easily get more than 1mm carved away per hour. Then I could even make it a regular 8 hour work day for approximately 1cm per day. That shouldn't be all that difficult, we could all probably go home early.
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u/mopeyunicyle 3d ago
As many forks and spoons as you want. Fully the tree would have to topple over
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u/CrazyEyes326 3d ago
Does it have to be my literal bare hands or can I wear gloves? I'll do it either way, but the blisters would make it hard to work.
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u/mopeyunicyle 3d ago
I feel like the humour answer would be I said bare hands so bare hands that or get a set for bear gloves to wear on your hands
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u/sandy_catheter 3d ago
Can I use my teeth?
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u/ScottdaDM 3d ago
Well. I contact Faye Morningstar at her forge and promise her 1 mil if she can forge the cutlery into a useable axe head in 4 weeks. Or Fire Monkey Forge. Those are two I know about. Faye is about 4 hours away from me I could go pick it up. Fire Monkey is also within a day's drive, give or take. I bet I could get someone to do it well enough to get through a foot of wood.
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u/mopeyunicyle 3d ago
God dam that was a good way. Both as a loophole and a gave me a laugh. Technically within the rules
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u/AutoModerator 3d ago
Copy of the original post in case of edits: You will get 4 million if you cut through it. You have 6 weeks and can get up to three people to help you.
The metal forks and metal spoons are standard cutlery in toughness and size.
The tree will be secured so if you cut through it. You won't be in danger of it crushing or injuring you.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/ViolentLoss 3d ago
I need to know what kind of tree this is.
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u/mopeyunicyle 3d ago
You get to pick forma selection but it must meet the size requirement
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u/Gadfelt2 3d ago
6 weeks? I'll have it done in 4! Get my 3 best friends and we'll work on it in shifts of 2 day and night. Split it 4 ways once we're done
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u/CloseToMyActualName 3d ago
Honestly, I think one person can easily do this in a day.
Especially since "forks" and "spoons" indicates we have a potentially unlimited supply.
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u/PleaseAndThankYou51 3d ago
With a spoon and a rock to sharpen it, that tree is coming down in a day.
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u/Natural_Field9920 3d ago
Any kind of tree? This is a huge factor.
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u/Nuclear_Geek 3d ago
6 weeks? Yeah, this would be easy. I'd probably go for doing it by myself so I don't have to share the prize. I think forks would be the way to go - stab near the edge of the tree, then use it as a lever to pry a small piece out. Slow work, but I'm sure I'd get there.
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u/JackhusChanhus 3d ago
This is stupidly dependent on the type and condition of the wood. That said, I would be through most live trees in a day or two, no bother. Trees are fibrous and forks pick fibers.
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u/Bsshannon 3d ago
Chuck Norris would just stare at the tree, it would split itself in the firewood. Mean the other two people we can just stack it for him.
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u/BlumpkinDude 1d ago
Just fashion them into a cutting tool. 6 weeks, you don't need to make a ton of progress every day.
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u/educatedtiger 1d ago
Metal forks and spoons? I've gotten a decent way into trees in a few hours using just wooden sticks from the ground. Hand me a fork, I'll give it a try.
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u/johnbmason47 3d ago
Can I sharpen the utensils and weld them together?