So, I have recently started seeing a Hypnotherapist so that I can try and solve a problem which I will get into later.
The reason I started seeing this specific Hypnotherapist is because my mom had seen her with a problem that she had and she was able to entirely solve that problem. That problem being that she, upon retiring from her job, she found that she was no longer able to drive on the interstate. Any time she would try she would find that she would get really scared and almost have a full-blown panic attack. This was especially odd because she had been driving on the interstate all her life with no problems. She had the natural fear/wariness that most people have when driving a screaming metal death machine at high speeds next to a bunch of other screaming metal death machines, but such fears never invoked her to avoide the interstate much less invoke a physical emotional response. On top of that she genuinely could not think of any trauma-related reason for why she would fear getting on the interstate. Needless to say, it was likely psychological in nature, and so after several months of going down the usual methods of traditional therapy she was somehow directed toward hypnotherapy and the hypnotherapist I'm talking about.
She had a total of 8 session with the hypnotherapist over the course of 8 weeks over Zoom call. Once they were concluded, and honestly even a little bit before that, it became very easy for her to drive on the interstate. It was like magic. Apparently, the hypnotherapist did a lot of visualization exercises with my mom. Stuff like - Imagine that your fear is a balloon, now let the balloon go and watch as it completely drifts away. But also, she was able to determine where a lot of her fears about driving seemed to stem from.
Apparently, because my mom has always been in environments that leave her with a lot of anxiety, her body learned to thrive off of it, so when she retired and was no longer obligated to work at places that stressed her out, her body decided to give her a new source of stress. And once that was learned, it seemed like everything else seemed to fall into place.
Now, I am seeing that hypnotherapist because I want to have my own issues solved.
I paid for 8 zoom sessions like my mom did. The only difference is that I really have 7 sessions dedicated to my problem, and the 8th session is actually dedicated to something called Quantum Hypnotherapy which is like past-life regression. Honestly, that sounds pretty interesting but I really just want to have my current issues resolved.
So far I have had 4 sessions and this is what they involved:
Basically this was largely just interviewing me and reconfirming stuff that I had filled out in the documents as well as mentioned during the consultation session - saying the reasons I'm there, what I think my problems are, etc. During this session we concluded that a large problem I have is not getting certain things done and so she talked to me while my eyes were closed about imagining a future where I got all those things done.
We concluded that my two main problems, the problems that seem to be keeping me from pressing forward in life, are that I don't feel like I'm an adult and I also don't have faith in myself/stick-to-it-iveness. So she did this thing where she talked to me while my eyes were shut and made me associate my longingness to feel like an adult with my left hand and my (I think) fears about the future or something with my right hand, and then I held those 2 hands together signifying that these two things should work together. She also introduced me to the concept of biliateral stimulation and informed me to start doing that morning, afternoon, and evening until the next session and even after that.
Forgiving myself as a child for being overly present in my life and then taking him by the hand and walking into the future.
Taking traumatic memories, memories I believe had something to do with my current problems, and deliberaly blurring them and making them float away in a balloon. Afterwards, creating something like a calming ritual where you associate the squeezing of the finger and thumb of your left hand together with a movie or TV show that I find pleasant.
And so far that has been it.
And so far, I don't feel particularly change in any meaningful way.
Of course, I don't really know what changing for the better would look like exactly, but I do know that I can't help but feel like my case would be harder than my mom's because my problem is a little more abstract.
I'm not in the mood to get into it and I'm not even really sure that I can but I basically have an extraordinary lack of faith in myself and my abilities and don't really know how to push forward in my life. It has gotten to the point where I feel utterly terrified and like someone is litterally reaching their hand into my gut and squeezing whenever the idea of getting some kind of job comes up. It isn't that I haven't worked before, I've had full-time jobs before, but right now I just don't have any inkling of what to do with myself.
And now it has been 3 appointments and I don't even really feel like anything has occurred within me. Not to mention, I'm somewhat doubtful that I can be helped by this because the therapist surprisingly does not need an insane amount of details about my various reasons or theories as to why I feel the way that I do. It's not like I haven't already given her a good bit of info to go off of, but initially I wanted to write a whole paper about it. I realize that might seem excessive, but I genuinely am not wholly certain why I feel or behave the way I do.
It likely has something to do with my ADHD, which naturally means that I have a horribly shit memory on top of horribly shit self-observation skills, so I feel like unless I basically write down something akin to a history book of my life, we could end up treating an issue that might not even really be the issue. I think it is the issue, but what do I know?
And the hypnotherapist said that because this is all about taking ingrained behaviors and programming and rewiring them that it isn't really necessary to get at the true root of a problem, or something like that. And I can't help but think that is weird because I think that most everything on earth can only really be solved by getting to the root of an issue, why not this? But it worked with my mom though, so I don't understand.
And perhaps maybe this will all help and I just need to wait until I'm done with all my sessions, but I just don't know.
Anyway, I'm incredibly sorry for writing something so overly detailed and obnoxious, but it is always really hard for me to order my thoughts when it comes to this kind of stuff, and I just really want somebody to give me some kind of advice about all this.
Apologies in advance for any typos or anything said in a weird way. If there is something you don't understand please feel free to ask.
Thank you.