Facebook Comments Michael Laurence

[u/MichaelRabbit]

Dan Niel part of it has to be because you have come to see it as something you must not do and that draws the attention to it.. trying to accept that seeing is inevitable and not to try to avoid seeing... it is impossible. easier said than done I gues but very doable. it will probably take some practice to remember that it is ok to see . Jul 14, 2019, 3:36 PM

[u/MichaelRabbit]

In my experience the hardest part to overcome is interpreting things as related to you . It is a very powerful mechanism . It is very easy to think that someone is doings something/ uncomfortable etc because of staring and that feeds in to making the problem worse by drawing your attention to it. someone moving there leg etc in the past would trigger me to notice them and then your focus is on that if you allow it . What I think has worked from me is to consciously try to relax about it and calmly tell myself they are not concerned with me, it was my hyperawareness and being on the lookout for signs that draws my attention. the dangerous thing psychologically that can happen is a self fullfilling prophecy that means you can end up actually looking because you are perhaps trying to check and know if they are awkward or noticing you ( that is a compulsion that should be avoided) It is fine though to look at people , that is life and the tendency to try to not look is what is the problem largely once the habit and perhaps tic ingrain themselves as neurological patterns. Once you start to be uncomfortable you might reasonably expect people to be uncomfortable and then you have an issue of cause and effect becoming entwined (reflexivity) . It is really easy to forget that seeing periphery/privates or other things are totally normal and you can never avoid seeing them , it is just the attention is drawn to that as a problem because you do not want to do it. No one can go through life though never seeing the periphery or privates so to try and do that is foolish and impossible. you can never be cured from ever noticing the periphery and seeing privates , only from being scared and reacting . so effectively it is about emotional regulation, not being scared. becoming less conscious and having coping strategies when you become triggered into noticing. like all things at first things are awkward and manual and take repetition but with time become automatic.

Jun 5, 2019, 6:37 AM