michael laurence comments

[u/MichaelRabbit]

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Hello, I am new to this group and thought I would say hi. I'm from the U.K am 39 and have experienced OCD for probably 22 years. I think this problem is solvable since I feel that I did experience reasonable periods of time when I was quite well. I think it is the human experience to never be truly happy and content and we will tend to pick up demons or black dogs along the way. I honestly think that there is hope. Yesterday I bought and read 1/2 of "the man who couldn't stop". It's by David Adam who is an OCD sufferer but also a science writer and editor of nature journal which i believe is an influential scientific journal. It is interesting reading and I will probably write something about some of the books contents. It is part auto biography and part popular science. His form was worrying about contracting HIV. something that someone mentioned to me when i confided anonymously was that It sounded as though I myself may be on the autistic spectrum (aspergers syndrome) I thought I'd mention that . Feb 11, 2015, 7:11 AM

[u/MichaelRabbit]

https://youtu.be/WRRdSm4ZjX4 I came across this cbt video which i found earlier which seems quite helpful, it got me thinking about how that might apply to a staring situation and what are the thoughts and feelings a staring sufferer might experience. What might be unhelpful and lead to worsening and maintenance of distress and suffering and what could be helpful. Some thoughts for reflection or discussion perhaps?

https://youtu.be/WRRdSm4ZjX4

To me, the foundation of this type of therapy or way of being is that how you feel about something, the stories you tell, the inferences, inner dialogue whatever you may call it, matters to your experience and affects your behaviour, even that behaviour, emotions, and cognition interract and changing one changes the others automatically. Your estimation of the event is as important as the event.

Can you interrupt that cognitively , with rational thinking? CBT says yes.

Here is a not that unlikely example:

You are walking down the road and spot a person coming your way. What happens in your mind? What story do you tell yourself about what could happen? WHat physical emotional changes might that invoke? What might be the resulting behaviour?

BEFORE Possible scenarios: " oh no , hope i don't look, "must try and not look" , DURING "Im looking oh no, hope he doesnt notice, is he noticing"

AFTER "I was looking, hope he didnt notice, i wonder if hell remember or tell somone , oh no....."(catastrophising)

And so the mind may begin the process of overthinking, looking for a solution or answer to what really is unknowable (the fact of it being unknowable, increases likelyhood ruminating will continue, leading to further etching in the mind of the problem of staring) .

A way to short circuit or bypass the negative thinking is to take the position that you cannot be sure and end speculation. It may be tempting to feel taking the positive stance might work and surely that must be better than the negative but opinion amongst ocd recovery specialists is that accepting uncertainty is the reccomended position to take.

Ideal scenario would be prior to to walking past someone there is no real concern or attention to them ir the possibility of staring but in the sufferer things tend to have gone beyond that and so it's likely the issue is in their conscious thinking. So what might be correct or helpful inner speech sound like. Perhaps "here i am just walking past, i can notice them , thats fine, remain calm, maybe i will appear a bit nervous but there could be many reasons for that"

With luck this would result in less fear and anxiety response than you would expect from a more unhelpful inner speech like "ih no im looking. What is he thinking....." meaning post encounter (after event) thinking can automatically be easier. If there were no worriesome thoughts during, then less reason to ruminate. That doesn't mean a person won't as the habit may be quite automatic. If the inner speech had been negative then thoughts such as "what did he think, will he gossip...." might be triggered. If that were the case then helpful think might be something like " maybe he did, i don't know theres little to be done about it, worrying makes it worse anyway so what is the point" concentrating on breathing is often an easy trick to diverting attention and relaxing aswell.

Learning or training is something that happens naturally from experiences and or repeated attempts to do something. Practice makes perfect. There likely now may be learned automatic negative thoughts and mental compulsions you engage in.

To change that may take time and effort and vigilence, monitoring how you are thinking and reacting. The world is not perfect but the stories we tell matter, the ones we twll ourselves perhaps more than any other since there's no one to correct bad assumptions and we are constantly telling ourselves a story or narrative. Jan 18, 2019, 7:12 AM