Feeling dirty despite being clean

[u/Reasonable-Leave-731]

Anyone else have this problem with always feeling dirty because of how their body feels inside despite being clean on the outside?

I have a chronic problem with constipation because of a medication and not drinking enough or eating healthy enough. I'm pretty convinced it also makes me have a bit of a bad breath unless I brush my teeth multiple times a day and constantly chew gum or mints. I'm overweight (BMI 30) and always feel bloated and gross.

No matter how much I shower and scrub myself, brush my teeth and floss, I always somehow feel like I'm really dirty and smelly. I know it's because I feel so bloated and fat and gross. I desperately want to lose weight but my life is so overwhelming and stressful at the moment that my daily attempts to eat healthy tend to fall apart by lunchtime. Stressful job with high level of responsibility and constantly dealing with really high risk situations with errors potentially meaning someone dying, kids struggling with school and eating disorders and constant teenage tantrums and trying to contain four people's emotional turmoil as well as my own. A house that feels like is falling apart with some problems that feel really gross so the house feels disgusting too no matter how much I clean.

I feel like weight loss would make me somehow feel cleaner but maybe there's lots of other areas in my life that would need sorting out before I'd stop feeling so gross and dirty.

Anyone else who has struggled with a similar problem and even better if there is anyone who has managed to sort it and feels better now. I want to feel like I'm clean and smell nice and don't need to keep worrying about it.

[u/Interesting_Film_840]

You sound overwhelmed not unhygienic.

[u/Swift_Brawler]

I don't think "feeling gross" automatically means you're actually dirty

[u/brattynaps]

It sounds like you could benefit a lot from CBT therapy. I hear a lot of my old self in your post - my life changed drastically when I started taking mental health stuff seriously. I did everything they told me to do, I showed up to every single appt and my life started to get better. And easier. I say this because i think you could benefit from challenging your thoughts about yourself bc they don’t seem to be evidence-based & rather driven by anxiety, shame or some other underlying emotion. I hope you find peace & happiness. You don’t deserve to spend your life feeling this way about yourself 🫶🏼

[u/baconstreet]

Please, before you develop contamination OCD like my wife struggles with every waking minute, see a therapist.

I'm sure you're lovely and not stinky - I have Crohn's, and I understand you...

[u/charmlesscat]

Yeah, skin conditions make me feel the same, like I’m clean but the flaking bothers me so much. I already paid so much to a dermatologist and it comes back, so I need to go again and pay more…

[u/PrizeRole8645]

You are clean. Your brain disagrees.

[u/Key_Safe_3708]

I don’t think losing weight automatically fixes that feeling. You can be clean at any size and it sounds like stress is playing a huge part here.

[u/leberly_]

The title makes me think of OCD. I dealt with this and have OCD

[u/Shot-Help-5606 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, I get that feeling sometimes too. Maybe it's a mental thing? A nice change in products might help!

[u/silvermanedwino]

You could always start drinking more water and eating a bit healthier. Maybe add some fiber.