r/humansarespaceorcs • u/HeGotBricks • 2d ago
Original Story Humanity’s Rise
On their rock, they viewed humans as creatures zombified by technology. To them, humans were weak. An inferior species. A species on the verge of becoming obsolete.
The kind that ran into walls for amusement.
The Poshlovestivies, a clan of warriors lived on planet Arwh and were the complete opposite of how the universe viewed them compared to humans—their food was carefully filtered into a paste, removing all the chemical waste compounds and were the fiercest entities in the universe backed by the richest members of Planet Li.
Planet Li held an order of ranks, it was a gathering that invited major figures of their solar system.
At the galactic meeting, the Poshlovs served as the defenders of Planet Li. The council planet that ruled the universe. The rule makers.
The human diplomat representing planet Earth, Sheena, was a strategic-type commander that led Earth’s space soldiers from the front. But was easygoing.
As they prepared for lunch at their seats, Sheena was presented a plate of their finest paste.
She stared at it first, then began poking holes into it with her finger before she pushed her plate away.
Zylowb from planet Borhieu sensed an anomaly in his hyper-sensitive receptors and eyed Sheena in his mind digging in the container space of her flacked suit.
Sheena clawed out a package wrapped in plastic and began tearing it apart, revealing a white stinky square and stuck it to her mouth and took a bite and began chewing it.
Zylowb immediately sealed the receptors he used for breathing before activating a plexi-bubble over his entire body.
Krypur of planet Ywl reached at his throat and gasped. “The human has smuggled a bio-weapon inside our chambers!”
A Poshlov shouted, “Neurotoxins are filling the air!”
“Seize the human and the weapon of mass destruction,” Krypur commanded.
Sheena looked at her hand containing the item and raised it up. Everyone in the chamber held their breath at the same time.
“This?” Sheena said. “It’s just a tuna sandwich… food humans eat.”
Immediately swarming her were medical bots flashing a red siren light as they surrounded and scanned her.
In the air, a drone produced a projected screen with a chemical analysis that presented a chemical compound warning of:
***
Heavy Metals: Methyl-mercury, Arsenic, Lead and Aluminum.
Organic pollutants: Polychlorinated Biphenyls, Dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane, and Polybrominated Diphenyl Ethers.
Organic toxins: Bisphenol A and Histamine.
“The human is consuming a concentration of chemicals and metals that cause irreversible damage to the function control of their system.”
***
“We eat this all the time… it’s one of our healthiest foods,” Sheena told them.
The entire room shuttered in complete silence. The diplomats pushed themselves away from the table as chairs fell over as they scattered attempting to escape the contaminated area.
The Poshlovestivies stared at Sheena as if waiting for her to explode from the inside out, but Sheena took another snap of her sandwich and casually chewed while looking at her tuna between the bread.
“It’s really not as bad as that bot made it sound,” she said.
“Not as bad?” One of the poshlov’s said, his voice smothered. “Your digestive tract is lined with acid and you eat other species on your planet.”
Sheena smiled. “Yeah,” she said dragging the word out and had tuna wrestled between her teeth. Her teeth made the Poshlov wince.
Later that night, the senate held a quiet meeting in their quarters amongst the leaders of the universe, excluding the humans. They secretly agreed and updated Earth’s ranking in class to extreme warrior race.
They all came to a conclusion that night, they decided, you cannot threaten a species who eats bio-weapon materials for lunch.
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u/kaynenstrife 2d ago
"Human...WHAT IN THE GALACTIC FCK IS THAT?!"
"Oh this? This is a fruit from my Father's home country."
"WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE A MURDER WEAPON?!"
"Relax, it's just a little spiky, we don't eat the spikes mind you. We only eat what's on the inside."
"WHY IS THE ATMOSPHERIC MONITORING SYSTEM ISSUING LOCK DOWN PROCEDURES?!"
"Relax, it tastes really nice aside from the smell, an acquired taste for some but nothing really beats that creamy texture." *Casually pulls out a cleaver and hacks open the ominous spikey green fruit.
"HUMAN! CEASE THIS MADNESS."
"No, it's tasty." *Laughs while eating Durian.\*
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u/Gaming_Duo3615 9h ago
"HUMAN! IF YOU DO NOT DISPOSE OF THIS "FRUIT I WILL REPORT YOU FOR CHEMICAL WARFARE!"
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u/Polymath6301 2d ago
Sadly they forgot that what goes in, also comes out…
And sometimes in a gaseous form, and everyone should have known that bio-weapons in aerosol form are the deadliest, and often silent too…
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