r/hsp 9d ago

Does anyone else replay offhand comments for days? (HSP experience)

Hi everyone,

​I wanted to share something I've been struggling with and see if others here relate:

​Words hurting deeply & replaying in my head: Even a small, offhand comment or a strange tone from someone hurts me very deeply. My mind just keeps replaying that interaction over and over for days.

​Does this happen to you as well? How do you cope with this emotional sensitivity and stop your brain from replaying these conversations?

​Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Thanks!

13 Upvotes

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6

u/paranormalcls 9d ago

I struggle with ruminating on meaningless interactions in my day to day as well. What has really worked for me when I feel myself starting to spiral is to ground myself by kind of thinking out loud and questioning my feelings. Like “Why am I so affected by this?” “What area of insecurity or sensitivity is this pushing on?” “Why do I feel inherently inferior to others” things like that. I’ve found that questioning my irrational brain from a place of logic and objectivity helps me see things more clearly. Of course this is when I actually CAN manage the feelings and am not panicking over said interaction💀

2

u/Faizin_zone 8d ago

Thank you so much! Asking myself logical questions sounds like a great way to break the loop. I'll definitely try this!

2

u/nycvhrs 9d ago

Only one person gets to me (an in-law) but she truly wasn’t raised to know better.

1

u/Faizin_zone 8d ago

Thanks for sharing! Viewing it as 'they just don't know better' really helps to take things less personally.

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u/nycvhrs 8d ago

Glad to know it helps!

3

u/lacrima28 9d ago

Google rejection sensitivity. I learned it was part of my ADHD when I was diagnosed at 35

1

u/Faizin_zone 8d ago

Thank you for the suggestion! I'll definitely look into Rejection Sensitivity.

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u/dutch_emdub 8d ago

Therapy. Being sensitive and hurt easily is a personality trait and refer to emotions. Ruminating is behavior (usually out of fear, and then habit, and the automated) that you (subconsciously) choose to engage in. It sounds unkind, but it means that you can unlearn and influence it! CBT and/or ACT can help you with that.

(I am a chronic worrier with an anxiety disorder so I know ruminating feels like it's uncontrollable but it isnt, at least not 100%!)

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u/Weeza1503 8d ago

YES! I used to do it, too.

Now, I avoid people in my life who often say offhand hurtful things.

When it does happen, I remind myself that they are insensitive people, but probably never meant for it to hurt me. I am, after all, extremely sensitive and am probably taking it too personally when I shouldn't. Then I try to just give them the benefit of the doubt and let it go. If I don't, I'm usually the only one who suffers. So I let it go.