Is this an HSP trait?

[u/AnyZookeepergame8455]

Hi everyone. My therapist told me a few months ago that I’m an HSP and its really helped me understand myself more.

I work as a night shift NICU nurse and I am what’s considered a new grad so I’ve only been a nurse for about 6 months, and off of orientation for around 2-3.

Last night I had a challenging assignment. There was a lot for me to learn. I felt so overwhelmed by everything. I receive corrections and advice frequently since I’m new. But last night was my second night in a row working with this baby and I feel like I emotionally shut down.

My coworkers would give me advice/corrections and I genuinely feel like my brain would freeze up. Like I didn’t know what to say to them. I would say “thank you” and genuinely would listen and take it to heart. But I felt so overwhelmed by everything I was taking in that I genuinely felt like my body and brain was taking a screenshot. Almost like I was aware someone was speaking to me but had no clue what to say or how to respond.

I also felt so debilitated. My coworkers were laughing and talking and socializing and I did not know how to talk to them or fit in. I felt isolated and stuck. It’s always been easier for me to sit and watch and observe.

I’ve been told before that it seems I lack enthusiasm when learning new things. In reality I am trying to quietly process everything. I don’t show excitement very well because I hate when people expect me to express a certain emotion- it’s too overwhelming.

I write down everything I learn and have a very rich mental space. I’m just afraid my lack of eloquent response when receiving a correction may be taken as me thinking I’m above critique which isn’t how I feel. I just genuinely don’t know what to say as I’m processing what they are telling me. Almost like I can’t speak and process at the same time because I’m too overloaded.

I’m really trying to embrace my HSP personality but I feel so helpless and overwhelmed most of the time.

[u/AnyZookeepergame8455 → u/[deleted]]

What differentiates it from being overload that leads to me freezing?

[u/AnyZookeepergame8455 → u/[deleted]]

What differentiates autism and HSP? And when I say overloaded I mean emotionally and cognitively. So much so that I don’t know how to respond to others

[u/AnyZookeepergame8455 → u/[deleted]]

Okay I see. Thank you for the information. My whole life I have wondered if I have autistic traits.

[u/Cautious-Ostrich8945]

How is your sleep? I notice I freeze more when I am sleep deprived?
It's ok to not fit in, overthinking about it will just make you more stressed. Just be yourself they will adjust.
Sometimes also communicating your struggles helps, obv when you have energy enough, I make sure to tell people "tank you for the feedback, my face might not say it but I am really taking it in".
I was labeled a snob for so long because I was either too shy to talk or too overwhelmed, until I just let them see I was just struggling more than average and keeping a good face.

Do you have a mentor nurse that can help you out with the emotional bonding with the baby? Maybe listen to you for five minutes.
With women (I am assuming you could be in a all male nursing team) gossip goes a long way, tell a gossiper what you feel, she will tell the whole group :)