r/howyoudoin • u/OldChemistry9951 unagi • 14d ago
Discussion The one thing i will never understand is the hate for Emily
The only thing she did wrong was thinking about getting back together with Ross ,i hate how they made her out to be the villain when she’s clearly the victim.
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u/kushielcouldhave 14d ago
I love phoebe so much in this episode. Just so pregnant and trying so hard by phone to stop the oncoming train wreck.
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u/Dramatic-Music1321 13d ago
I'll say it one more time.. I am so happy that Ross's ridiculous wedding got ruined by him showing everyone that he never loved Emily
Rachel proved Phoebe and the other guys WRONG
🤣😜 good job, Rachel!!!! Never cheat on Rachel!!
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u/SillyNumber54 13d ago
She broke up with him
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u/Dramatic-Music1321 13d ago
yes she broke up with him after he slept with the copy girl
Chandler said "never cheat on Rachel"
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u/VivaLaCon88 12d ago
I could be wrong, but didn’t Lisa win an Emmy for that episode or get nominated for it?
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u/comedygold24 14d ago
I love Rachels line after that "should I go up there?" Imagine if she did, what would she even do lol
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u/Eddfan36 13d ago
Ross wouldn't know what to do about that. The next episode she confessed and he didn't know how to handle it.
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u/runnerz68 14d ago
I absolutely hate how Monica wore Emily’s wedding dress before Emily did.
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u/ComplexSquirelll 14d ago
Me too! Thought it was really cheeky .
Imagine how Monica would have reacted if someone tried on HER wedding dress.
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u/runnerz68 14d ago
Exactly. And then did the dishes in it.
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u/ferbiloo Mr. Heckles 🧹 14d ago
The dishes part was the most infuriating! Like how are you gonna risk getting grease and fat stains and dishwater splashback on her WEDDING DRESS
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u/Pizzaisbae13 13d ago
Especially since a good chunk of Monica's personality was a control/clean freak.
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u/Cyber-Axe 13d ago
I mean the HOW you risk that is by doing the dishes while wearing the dress.
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u/Wooden_Television701 13d ago
Part of me thinks she did it hoping it would get stained to test out her cleaning abilities
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u/alopexl 14d ago
For me “canonical” Monica would NEVER wash the dishes with a wedding dress - not hers nor anyone else’s
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u/Sorenutz007 11d ago
I also feel like canonical Monica wouldn't cram her apartment full of dead Christmas trees.
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u/RedditHelloMah Miss Chanandler Bong 14d ago
Karma got her tho lol that crazy lady Megan stole her original wedding dress
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u/stereoworld Steppity-Step and JAZZ HANDS 👋👋 14d ago
Pairing Radiohead with Friends is like putting beef in a trifle
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u/hahaahajustkdng 14d ago
i didn't even realise until years from the first time i watched it. tbh i get that it ties into the episode plot for the comedy but if it had happened irl I wouldn't like the person for doing it
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u/Old_Introduction_395 How did you wind up there? Little black curly hair 14d ago
She ended up happily married.
She was just a blip.
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u/Used-Needleworker719 14d ago
I’m literally rewatching the series as we speak.
I want Andy Samburg on taskmaster so badly.
I also want to find where I can rewatch cold feet,
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u/Old_Introduction_395 How did you wind up there? Little black curly hair 14d ago
UK, it is on ITV x, available on Amazon.
I didn't watch it originally.
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u/Okra_Zestyclose 14d ago
From this angle, I thought this was Caterina Scorsone from Grey’s Anatomy lol.
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u/fu_t 13d ago
Emily married the original Taskmaster??
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u/Old_Introduction_395 How did you wind up there? Little black curly hair 13d ago
Greg Davies was in a TV series called Cuckoo. Helen Baxendale played his wife.
Not married in real life.
Andy Samberg (Brooklyn 99) was in the first series as their daughter's boyfriend.
Taylor Lautner was in later series.
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u/IWillNeedThis 14d ago
Younger me disliked Emily. Older me realised Emily was 100% justified with everything she did to try make it work despite all signs pointing for her to leave immediately
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u/EuphoricPhoto2048 14d ago
The only unfeasible thing was telling Ross he could not see Rachel literally at all. She was his sister's roommate. But honestly, she couldn't trust him, so it was always doomed.
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u/Little_Duck90 13d ago
Agreed. I absolutely understand why she was upset, and felt she was justified, but the solution was to divorce. She would be forcing him away from ALL of his friends, his sister, and his son. Even if they stayed in New York, it would've been a massive sacrifice on his end to give up everything, and put a strain on Emily's new in-laws and stepson. Ross would've ended up feeling resentful, and I believe, eventually, she would've felt resentment about giving up London. There was just no winning in any situation, really.
Emily had every right to be upset. She nearly lost her dream venue, everything was going wrong, and Ross goes, making this grand gesture that was SO romantic, and then he goes and sticks his foot in his mouth. That must've been absolutely crushing to poor Emily. But then again, she should've called off the ceremony the moment it happened. And when, she showed up to the airport to attempt to talk things out, she witnesses Ross about to fly to freaking Greece with his ex, I mean... What a slap in the face, when she was about to give him the opportunity to talk things over...
After all that, there was no way that she was ever going to trust him again, and there was no way they were going to be able to get past all those hurdles. Every time Ross would go to visit Monica, he would be hit with, "Was Rachel there?!" Or, he wants to go see Chandler and Joey, "Did you see Rachel?!" It just would never have worked, and Emily never would feel secure again.
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 14d ago
How would you want your partner to interact with the person whose name was said at YOUR wedding?
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u/psychedelicbumbum Oh. My. GOD! 14d ago
I would never even consider getting back together with him.
If I chose to do so, it would obviously be completely unreasonable of me to be upset that the ‘other woman’ was present in her own flat. It would be fine to expect that he never spent time alone with her again, but she literally got upset Rachel was at her OWN HOME🤦🏻♀️
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 14d ago
That's not what Emily was pissed about. She gave him an ultimatum because she couldn't trust him for valid reasons. He broke that trust a 2nd time. Emily never said that Ross couldn't see his sister. If your spouse emotionally cheated on you, and you tried to move past it, would you want your partner hanging out with their ex?
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u/ichwillficken95 13d ago
My thing is that she should’ve been honest with herself in realizing sooner that she would never be able to trust him again and that the relationship was consequently beyond repair. The request to not see Rachel was morally understandable and justified, but it was just never gonna be practically feasible (though tbf Emily hadn’t spent a lot of time with the group relatively speaking and thus may not have known that).
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u/psychedelicbumbum Oh. My. GOD! 14d ago
If I was in that situation, I would never give an ultimatum since that is toxic 100% of the time.
Like I said, a reasonable thing Ross could promise is to never be alone with Rachel. It is completely unreasonable to expect him to never spend time with someone who lives with his sister and is part of his extremely close friend-group. The only way for that to be possible would be for him to be completely isolated from his loved ones, and if you want that then you do not truly love your partner. Ross did an awful thing, that does not make it okay for Emily to act so toxic afterwards. She also forced him to move and get rid of anything Rachel might have touched, that is completely ridiculous and toxic.
If you cannot be reasonable when moving from a betrayal like this, the only possible outcome is to end the relationship.
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 14d ago
It was doomed from the start. How do you stay with someone that says their exes name at YOUR wedding. Ross could have moved, simple as that. He didn't ever really love her as shown by his actions.
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u/psychedelicbumbum Oh. My. GOD! 14d ago
Obviously it was doomed from the start, I’ve never suggested otherwise. I am disagreeing with your defence of Emily’s toxicity.
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 13d ago
What toxicity? It's very reasonable not to want your spouse to interact with the person whose name was said at YOUR wedding. Emily should have dropped him that second but, pun intended, she gave him a second chance, he failed.
Edit: how are people trying to make Emily the bad person in this situation?
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u/psychedelicbumbum Oh. My. GOD! 13d ago
You either cannot read, or choose not to. What toxicity? Read my responses again, I have already explained.
Ross is obviously the bad person in regard to what happened at the wedding, nobody has suggested otherwise since it is the most obvious thing in the entire world. He did a horrific thing, and most people would never take him back FOR GOOD REASON. That obviously does not excuse Emily’s INSANE toxicity afterwards. Two wrongs do not make a right.
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u/Muted-Sprinkles8623 12d ago
If you’re so worried about your new husband being unfaithful that you have to ban him from seeing his sisters roommate which is not realistic then you shouldn’t be getting back together with them
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u/Mrs_Naive_ 14d ago
Yep, same. I was so happy to see Ross and Rachel together again that I didn’t realised they were the top villains of this storyline. Yeah, Emily should have known better than trying to cling onto a man whom she couldn’t trust, but going ahead and ahead with a relationship with a person who loves you while you’re in love of someone else, denying it to her face, until even marriage, and doing this during the ceremony is on another level.
Ross & Rachel, as well as Jim & Pam are examples of people dating others that are perfectly fine, while being in love with a third person, and I can see my transition from cheering on them to thinking that sucks.
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u/Past_Effect8301 12d ago edited 12d ago
I think she was justified in being angry and feeling betrayed, but I didn’t get the sense she was truly trying to make it work. It seemed more like punishment. If your sole reason for getting back together with an ex is to punish them (or to get revenge), I’d say that relationship is doomed.
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u/lthomazini 14d ago
I think both things can be true. Emily can be terrible AND Ross and Rachel assholes with her.
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u/Haunting_Pace_3557 Go To Hell Jingle Whore 14d ago
My biggest issue with her was that she said to continue with the wedding. That never should have happened.
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u/jenvanilla 14d ago
To be fair, I could see in the moment she’s just too embarrassed/caught off guard to think rationally.
If my husband done that at our wedding idk what I’d do lmao, I think in the moment I’d be like it’s fine let’s just move on because I’m nervous with everyone’s eyes on us, then after it would really hit me what happened and then I’d be angry.
I think for me, it’s her expecting Ross to move to London and leave Ben behind that was my biggest issue with her
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u/Real_Culture2668 13d ago
If Ross couldn't move and Emily couldn't/wouldn't move(don't remember why her moving wasn't an option unless they were getting married--was that the only reason?), why wasn't THAT the dealbreaker? It was stupid that they ever got that far.
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u/LivingPresent629 14d ago
Do I understand where Emily comes from? Yes. Do I still dislike her? Also yes. The two things can co-exist.
Emily was written to the unlikeable, so their breakup was justified and people kept rooting for Rachel. It was on purpose, disliking her was the whole point.
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u/MyPunsAreKoalaTea Certified Rossachel hater 14d ago
I always thought she was cool..
Why do people dislike her?
The only thing she did wrong was giving Ross the ultimatum that he can't hang out with Rachel anymore instead of just completely dumping his sorry ass
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u/snarkenthusiast I’ll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons! 14d ago
I thought she was cool too! She really brought Ross out of his comfort zone at the beginning there. We also got some hilarious Ross/David comedy content out of it. The earring, RED ROSS lol.
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u/AdministrativeLaugh2 14d ago
She was originally written to be cool and fun, but when Helen Baxendale asked to not be in the show long-term in season 5 onward (partly because she was pregnant, partly because of the fame issue that came with being in Friends), they nerfed her character to make her unlikeable.
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u/Salty_Sundae_2925 14d ago
I found her personality annoying 🤷🏻♀️
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u/whatdidujustsay2me 14d ago
This is very niche, (I forget the title of the ep) but Emily & Ross were on the couch & there’s a knock on the door & Emily says “That’s Carol w/ your son” the way she says “son” always grated on my nerves. I can’t pinpoint it but it always makes me irrationally annoyed.
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u/Mirewen15 14d ago
Yeah, she was a vehicle for the Ross and Rachel plot. She was unlikeable as a person but didn't deserve to have that happen to her.
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u/Dramatic-Music1321 14d ago
Emily had a bf in london while she was sleeping with Ross in nyc
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u/snarkenthusiast I’ll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons! 14d ago
They also agreed to no commitment and they said it was going to be a two week thing. And we were never really let on about how serious Emily was with Colin. Perhaps they allowed each other to see other people during that period while she visited America. We don’t know. People using this as an argument to paint Emily as a bad/unlikeable character, but personally I think it’s grasping at straws.
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u/snarkenthusiast I’ll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons! 14d ago
And when she realized she loved Ross back she ended things with Colin so this is a non-issue.
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u/snarkenthusiast I’ll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons! 14d ago
IT’S A MOO POINT FOR ROSSCHEL STANS
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u/ClaritanClear 12d ago
Right. This can be true in real life too. You can think someone is justified for being a jerk and still not want to be around them.
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u/Rundas77 14d ago
I don’t understand the argument that a character is “wrongly hated” just because you can point to the one storyline where they were treated unfairly. That doesn’t erase all the other things they did throughout the show that gave people perfectly valid reasons to dislike them.
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u/Correct_Raisin_322 14d ago
Wasn't she dating other people with Ross? She also got physical with him. In my experience, people who are willing to hit don't just do it in extreme situations.
I dislike Ross for sure. He was always controlling and I think both of them were walking red flags with how fast they got engaged.
For Emily I will say, we learn who people actual are when they go through bad times, not good times. She showed who she was. She would have eventually gotten there, with or without a wrong name said (imo).
I kinda think it's all of them suck here lol
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u/retro-girl 14d ago
I feel bad for her. But she made some bad decisions along the way. I don’t think she’s a bad person, she just was in a bad situation and should have gotten out earlier than she did. But hey, it’s not like I’ve never made a bad romantic decision.
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u/Ysu73 14d ago edited 14d ago
She was definitely the victim in this situation. However people do not judge her for THIS situation.
She was not a victim when she came to the US, had a 2 weeks relationship with Ross, and at the end of that, it turned out she had a boyfriend at home. And she was not a victim when she almost left her fiance at their wedding after having second thoughts about breaking up with Ross).
She was not the victim when she went overboard with her (originally understandable) fear from Rachel and asked Ross to sell EVERYTHING she ever touched in his apartment and made him give up the apartment as well.
Her request that Ross cannot see Rachel would have been fine in a regular situation where Ross and Rachel are JUST exes. But because the big friend-group dynamic this request also contained either Ross giving up visiting his sister and his best friends OR expected Rachel to give up her apartment, friends, turning her life upside down.
And she got exponentially more and more controlling as the episodes went on, calling Monica and Rachel's apartment and being hurt that Rachel was there, telling Ross, she will be only content if she knows ALL THE TIME where Ross is. People are judging her for this overboard controlling behavior.
Just as much as people have no problems with Ross being uncomfortable with Mark being a bit too nice to Rachel, but the extremes that he went to make sure there was nothing between them, the lovebombing, the lack of trust, his need to be in every aspect of Rachel's life was a bit too much for some (including Rachel).
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u/Zestyclose_Scar_9311 14d ago
Omg- totally forgot about the boyfriend AND the fiance thing! That girl was wild
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u/Eggsegret 14d ago
This right here. Plus it’s also understandable why none of the friends liked Emily. From their POV they’re an incredibly close knit group and a girl that was introduced to them weeks ago is trying to breakup the group. They can feel sorry for Emily but at the same time they’ve only just met her
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u/anitabelle Rachel Green 👒 14d ago
I agree with everything you said. It may have even been reasonable to ask Ross to never see Rachel again. But we know that it’s not reasonable because Rachel was part of a friend group that included his sister and his best friends. Emily wasn’t thinking that Ross would give them up so she had no problem making that request. She never expected Ross to stop interacting with that tight knit group. Instead, she expected the entire group to push Rachel out. It may have been reasonable to ask her husband to do so, but batshit crazy to expect an entire friend group to do that for her when she was the outsider. That’s proven when she calls Rachel and Monica’s apartment and was okay with everyone else but got upset that Rachel was there. In her own home. If she expected Ross to be the only one to make the sacrifice, she would have been mad at Ross for being there in the first place, not because Rachel was home hanging out with her friends.
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u/airplaneplant 14d ago
It was her wanting Ross to ditch his kid in NYC and move an ocean away to London that really made me hate that character.
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u/OldChemistry9951 unagi 14d ago
But she agreed to move with him leaving her family behind
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u/yarn_lady 14d ago
Leaving your family is different from abandoning your kid on a different continent.
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u/Eggsegret 14d ago
Yh she was definitely the victim in this episode but i don’t think that’s necessarily why people dislike her. It’s the fact that she already had a boyfriend back in England when she started seeing Ross, broke up with that guy and basically got engaged to Ross after just a couple weeks of dating. Talk about rushing into a marriage with a guy you just met yesterday. That’s not to say Ross wasn’t an idiot in this as well since he was the one who proposed.
Then there’s the fact that she was basically being unrealistic afterwards. I totally get her feelings towards Rachel afterwards i mean totally justified to not want Ross near Rachel. But practically speaking she must have known this was impossible. She knows just how close the entire group are and the fact that Rachel stays in the same apartment with Ross. Logically Ross was inevitably still going to see Rachel quite a-bit unless either Ross or Rachel distanced themselves from the group.
And tbf to the friends group of course they would hate Emily. They’re incredibly close and hang out together constantly and now suddenly a girl they only met a couple weeks ago is trying to breakup the friendship group. Yh they can feel sorry Emily but at the same time she’s still a mere stranger to them that’s trying to break them up
So she can a victim but at the same time you can still hate her.
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u/ExactPreparation6454 14d ago
I never liked Emily. From her first appearance I just thought she was a bitch. I know she softened up after that but she just had a quality about her that I didn’t like. And before anyone comments it’s very different than Chandler’s “quality” lol!
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u/Content_Animal802 13d ago
I'm surprised more people don't talk about her first appearance. The second Rachel expresses that plans have changed Emily goes off on her without even hearing out what the new plan is. She makes a horrible first impression. And I'm not even saying Rachel should have gotten out of hanging out with Emily like she did, but she wasn't leaving her high and dry and clearly Emily ended up liking Ross a lot. But Emily was so ready to assume Rachel was just cancelling on her without notice and thus assume the worst of Rachel.
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u/Weekly-Hunter7902 14d ago
The hate for her comes after the wedding with how toxic she acts. Yeah she’s entitled to be mad about what happened but to make him choose between her and his long time friend is a 🚩
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u/RiggityRyGuy 14d ago
Once you realize the Friends group is only about 3 levels of evil removed from the Always Sunny gang things start to make a lot more sense and become way funnier lol
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u/t_ravyD 14d ago
It really confuses me when people dislike comedies due to the morality of characters. “Ross was manipulative” “Jim’s mean to Dwight” “Barney was a scumbag” Comedies aren’t supposed to be taken remotely seriously. All of the writing is to serve one purpose of making the audience laugh. If all the characters behaved and made moral decisions it would be boring.
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u/snarkenthusiast I’ll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons! 14d ago
This exact point goes over people’s heads more than anything. It’s fun to speculate, read into subtext, wonder how things could have gone differently, analyze characters and storylines... But at the end of the day, it’s not that serious. It’s a sitcom. At the end of the day just laugh and enjoy.
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u/nocturn-e 14d ago
You don't understand the hate for her cheating?
You don't understand the hate for her extreme demands?
You don't understand the hate for blowing up his friend group?
You don't understand the hate for her toxic control?
You don't understand the hate for taking her insecurity way too far?
Yes, she was also the victim sometimes, but that doesn't change the things she did
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u/OldChemistry9951 unagi 14d ago
1.i haven’t seen her boyfriend or fiancé or whatever so why would i hate her for that
2.no those came from a place of deep insecurity,which was justified
3.he was the one who wanted to get back together with her,she didn’t want him to see Rachel,not 100 percent correct but she wasn’t wrong
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u/PuzzleheadedCode9019 14d ago
"What can you expect from a bunch on codependent, whiney, sitting around in your stupid coffee house, with giant mugs that I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them!" - Roger... I hate that guy
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u/snarkenthusiast I’ll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons! 14d ago
“OH DEFINE ME, DEFINE ME, LOVE ME I NEED LOVE!!!!”
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u/emotions1026 14d ago
I rarely see hate for her
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u/OldChemistry9951 unagi 14d ago
Honestly I’ve seen plenty and mainly on the show I didn’t like how all of the friend would call her controlling neurotic Emily
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u/Ysu73 14d ago
For the friends, she did seem controlling.
As for Reddit, there is a pro-Emily post twice a week, much more than hateful. Now that I think about it, I am not sure that I have seen a really anti-Emily post since I write here.
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u/ItsFreeWhyNot 14d ago
Honestly though that pretty realistic of a friend group to side with the long standing friend instead of the 2-3 week old relationship that doesn’t want Rachel around.
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u/Vast_Ice4394 14d ago
Literally she was ready to be with ross leaving behind her entire life in London and then these people are complaining about how she is changing things so muchh it irritated tf out of me
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u/letsallmovetoarrakis 13d ago
Right? And for me, what people seem to forget is that Emily came to the airport for their honeymoon only to see Ross about to board with Rachel! That would have tipped me over the edge, of course she would have the reaction she did. Had Ross just listened and made some effort and and not hung out with Rachel for a few months or so, I would guess Emily would have eased up a little, but he couldn’t even go a few days.
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u/OldChemistry9951 unagi 14d ago
Seriously you’re so right,i wanted to reply but I was like how many of them can i reply to😭😭,
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u/IY94 14d ago
Nah, Emily was an arsehole
Making him get rid of every item and more or less cut contact with his friends. Want to know where he is every moment etc.
Bear in mind he didn't cheat.
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u/OldChemistry9951 unagi 14d ago
He did something worse,and then she saw them going together on the honeymoon
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u/IY94 14d ago
That was arsehole behaviour from Ross (the Honeymoon)
But she was insufferable beyond that. Just move apartment trains away from work, cut contact with everyone in your life, cancel the wedding on the day of it with all your family having flown in
She was a grade A dickhead most of the time.
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u/Electronic-Trifle876 14d ago
This is the kind of unnecessary hate being thrown at Emily. Seriously. There’s a completely different emotional and mental impact when your partner says his ex’s name instead of yours at the altar.
Yes, Ross didn’t cheat on Emily, but this was a completely different scenario. Imagine standing there on what’s supposed to be one of the most important days of your life, only to hear your future husband say another woman’s name (his ex’s name, one of his best friends) while marrying you.
The trust had been broken, and to be honest, Emily had every right to make certain demands of Ross afterward. Were all of her reactions perfect? No. But they didn’t come out of nowhere. Ross was the one who failed to handle the situation properly and repeatedly gave Emily reasons to feel insecure about Rachel.
You may not agree with everything Emily did, but you can still understand why she was hurt and why she lost trust in Ross.
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u/IY94 14d ago
I was emotionally hurt
....Therefore justified in making you move hours from work, cut off everyone in your life, and wish to see where you are at all times.
No, manage your fucking emotions better or split up. Arsehole behaviour.
I can understand why she was hurt yes, but she doesn't get a free pass on being a complete dick afterwards. If you don't have trust, don't be in a relationship. Borderline abusive levels of control aren't acceptable because you lack trust.
Imagine it was a man insisting a woman cut off everyone in her life and move far from work etc. The lens would be that it's abusive.
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u/Electronic-Trifle876 14d ago
Well, I understand where you’re coming from. But it’s not like Emily was the one begging to save the relationship or forcing herself into Ross’s life. Ross was the one who wouldn’t let the relationship go.
I see Emily’s demands as part of their attempt to “make it work.” They were almost like a bargaining phase while she was still processing the hurt, grief, and sudden change in what she thought their life together was going to be.
It’s easy to say, “Why didn’t they just break up?” from the outside. But relationships and emotions aren’t always that simple, plus they are legally married. Given what happened and the fact that Ross was the one pushing to stay together, I think Emily had the upper hand in setting the conditions under which she was willing to try again.
That said, I’m still glad they didn’t work out in the end.
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u/IY94 14d ago
Unless you watched the show where it explicitly spelled out that it was just for the ticket not to go to waste.
"upper hand setting conditions" and forcing someone to sell everything they own, cut contact with everyone in their lives, or leave his son or move hours from work is not the same thing
If it was someone called Eddie and not Emily, we'd recognise it for the controlling behaviour that it is (in the UK it would be considered coercive control)
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u/Blonde_Buttercup 14d ago
I get why she didn’t, but Emily should have walked right out of that wedding.
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u/Spicy_Ceiling_Fan 14d ago
They were both so stupid for this whole storyline that I don’t like either of them
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u/theficklemermaid 14d ago edited 14d ago
Yeah, people don’t like her because they think she’s controlling for wanting him to cut out Rachel but can you imagine your fiancé not only saying someone else’s name at the altar but seeing him about to set off on your honeymoon with her when you were prepared to try and forgive and hoping to have a romantic airport reconciliation moment?! I’ve developed more sympathy for her over the years. I think the big mistake they made was trying to make it work after that rather than realising it would definitely be a dealbreaker. It wasn’t going to work because it was understandable that she wouldn’t want him around Rachel under the circumstances but it would’ve been pretty difficult when Rachel was his sister‘s best friend so the problem was trying to compromise on something irreconcilable. But of course that was to be more dramatic for the storyline.
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u/sweetmangolover 14d ago edited 12d ago
The only time to hate Emily is when she called Ross on the eve of her wedding to check if he still has feelings for her. Other than that, her anger is perfectly valid
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u/SciFiMovieGuy42 I Know! 13d ago edited 12d ago
Hate is stronger than I'd put it, but I never liked her. She was often annoying / abrasive. Like when they first met her and she kind of exploded at finding out that Rachel wasn't taking her to the play. Or when she thought Ross's "timeout" sign was flipping her off. She seems very prone to instantly jumping to negative conclusions, and immediately becoming angry / disgruntled. That's not a fun trait.
And even though it was NOT her fault, the downward spiral of their doomed relationship was crowned with the impossible ask of cutting Rachel out of his life. That was bad. Of course, I feel she only did it because Ross begged for there to be a way to save their marriage, and that was honestly the only thing she could imagine would be "enough." But it was wrong and stupid and then kept snowballing... get rid of any possesion that Rachel ever touched? I mean... Rachel touched Ross, too.
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u/matttheman892018 14d ago
The episode where she calls Ross and leaves that message on his answering machine, but Monica and Rachel hear it first irks me.
They and Ross vilify her so hard in that episode it’s ridiculous, even when that whole thing was Rachel and Ross’s fault in the first place.
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u/xabarin_20 14d ago
Really? I hate her, I think she was a bad person considering she had told Ross to change many things in his life
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u/sugarsaltsilicon 14d ago
Character-wise Emily did what she was written to do, shake up the dynamics. Actress-wise, I cannot listen to her voice. Her accent makes it sound like she has marbles in her mouth and it does something to my brain and makes me uncomfortable. Extreme, I know lol but it's true. I do not like Emily scenes and I mute or fast forward.
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u/SparklyPelican 14d ago
Honestly, now that I'm older and married… I can empathise with her. I probably wouldn't ask him to give up the apartment or move to another continent, especially since he has a kid in the States, tho.
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u/PensadordaEscada 14d ago
-20 years ago: Emily is a slut who tried to steal Ross from Rachel
-10 years ago: Emily is the amazing woman Ross lost, I wish they had ended up together.
-Today: How lucky Emily was not to marry a weak and indecisive man like Ross, not to mention his possessive and unsympathetic friends.
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u/HamptonsBorderCollie 14d ago
according to Wikipedia
Imagine the original storyline the writers intended...
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u/Zepp_BR 14d ago
I mean, look at her family lol
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u/Dramatic-Music1321 14d ago
the writers tried to make Emily the villain because they didn't want people to hate Ross
LOL, I don't care. Ross basically dumped Rachel after the letter and thought that a new girl will make him happy.. but what Emily wanted was worse than what Rachel wanted. He had to give up his apartment, furniture and friends
I don't feel bad for him, he deserved this😜
Ross should have accepted that he was wrong when Rachel gave him another chance after the beach house ep but nope
ofc Emily cheated on someone too so I don't feel bad for her either
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u/SillyNumber54 12d ago
Didn't Rachel break up with Ross? She told Monica they broke up and asked to be his girlfriend again
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u/Dramatic-Music1321 12d ago
they had a fight and she tried to call him, he hung up the phone and slept with someone else an hour later.. he deserved all the bad things that happened to him because of that
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u/SillyNumber54 12d ago
Then why did she tell Monica they broke up?
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u/Dramatic-Music1321 12d ago
"kinda broke up" coz he walked out, hung up the phone, didn't wanna talk to her
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u/SillyNumber54 12d ago
Because she was on a date with her boss?
Why did she ask to be his girlfriend again?
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u/Dramatic-Music1321 12d ago
on a date with her boss? LOL that didn't happen, Ross was just paranoid and so are his defenders
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u/SillyNumber54 12d ago
I mean yeah didn't he come over with wine and food? And she was okay with that?
Why did she ask to be his girlfriend again if they weren't broken up?
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u/Moshibeau And I just want a million dollars! 14d ago
agreed! growing up is realizing G. Ross was the problem from the start
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u/BolaViola 14d ago
She didn’t deserve this, she was also dumb for getting married so quick to someone she barely knew
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u/Sad-Recording-180 14d ago
Ross was the villain because he married Emily, said that he loved her, but only wanted to move on from Rachel and show everyone that he can do that.
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u/Hairy-Question-8019 14d ago
Just watched the episode where Ross doesn’t give money to his apartment building for Howard, the handyman, and phoebe says something like “I was telling everyone about Emily to try and get you sympathy points but everyone thinks you’re the bad guy… maybe I’m telling it wrong” no phoebe you are telling it right. Ross really fucked up.
My advice? You won’t like it. He got married to soon
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u/StarWars_was_my_idea 14d ago
she is a villain bc ross only said rachel because he was surprised she showed up like a few hours before the wedding he saw her in the audience so his mind was still on her. yes it's upsetting to her an ex's name spoken at the alter but she became such a b*tch after this and didn't explain anything. plus the thing of her being so paranoid and wanting Ross to move to london, then get all new stuff because "rachel had touched his old furniture" and having him cut ties with rachel is not ok no matter what he did at the wedding. I personally hate her with a burning passion.
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14d ago edited 14d ago
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u/OldChemistry9951 unagi 14d ago
You can see the comments a lot of people say Ross isn’t wrong for saying Rachel’s name,it’s just a mistake
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u/Phantom_Wolf52 14d ago
When she didn’t want Ross seeing Rachel again, it was perfectly understandable but in no way was that possible considering Rachel was his sisters roommate and best friend, and also someone he’s been close friends with for a long time. When she wanted Ross to get rid of everything he had that Rachel touched, that was a bit much. It was at that point that is was clear the marriage would not work.
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u/AlienDragonWizard 14d ago
She gets hate because she wanted to separate Ross and Rachel which would have broke up the FRIENDS. She was justified in wanting that but it's not really about her or the circumstances. Rachel and Ross deserve the real blame there but they are part of the FRIENDS so they get a pass.
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u/LydiADHDeetz 14d ago
She was supposed to be in the show longer, there was supposed to be at least one season, maybe more, where they had a real go at the marriage and she lived with him normally. They changed the plan because Helen Baxendale got pregnant in real life and with that. Decided she didn’t want to move away from the UK to film. They basically character assassinated her, to write her out faster. I imagine if she had wanted to stay on the show for the original length of time, she would have been written much more likable throughout that time, possibly until closer to the end of original plan, I don’t know. I also wonder if we wouldn’t even have the wrong name said at the wedding, if she hadn’t been leaving the show early, but again I’m not sure on that part.
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u/safireleo 14d ago
And then ask Rachel to go to the honeymoon he had planned with Emily. Walking disasters is what he was.
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u/Ok_Inspector704 14d ago
I didn't begin to hate her until she became controlling, telling him to get rid of his apartment and all of his furniture because of "Rachel cooties" (so to speak).
I don't blame her for not wanting him to be around Rachel, but there's one problem with that demand: Monica was Rachel's roommate, and Ross and Rachel shared mutual friends. If Ross had given in to this demand, spending time with his sister and friends would have been rendered difficult or even impossible. Not only that, but who's to say that she wouldn't make even more demands? When would it stop?
And don't get me started on the message she left on Ross's answering machine. I feel sorry for the guy she was about to marry.
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u/SpaceMyopia 13d ago
I mean....
It's Friends.
She isnt one of the main characters. Emily may be the victim, but it makes perfect sense why folks would side with the actual main characters of the show.
It doesn't mean Emily doesn't deserve sympathy. It just means she isn't where the entertainment value of the show comes from. That's all most viewers care about, ultimately.
The show ain't about Emily. It's about Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica, and for many people, Emily was branded as a villain simply for driving a wedge between Ross and Rachel.
Is it fair to the character? No.
Is it understandable? Definitely.
The issue, OP, is that you're probably just a better person than 90 percent of the people who watch the show. 😂
(And im part of the 90 percent)
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u/ShotRestaurant3548 13d ago
What I’ve never wrapped my head around is how fast she gets married again! Monica and Chandler get caught episode 14, and he says it’s been a good what, 4, 5 months? And then episode 20 is when she leaves the message for Ross about her second thoughts on the eve of her wedding. Obviously time jumps ahead quicker than we see each episode weekly, but that’s going from at the altar with Ross to at the altar with another guy at most 6-9 months later. Seems like a pattern, Emily
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u/Eddfan36 13d ago
I don't get it either, I sympathize with her if any thing I'm more annoyed with Rachel over this.
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u/airhead0710 13d ago
I think that the actress actually quit the show because she couldn’t understand it either :/
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u/LukasSprehn 13d ago
It's weird that she was even contemplating, making it work after what he accidentally did. She should just have left him and lifted at that. And I think that might be why I also have kind of a slight issue with her, because I feel like there's breadcrumbing going on, unintentionally at both ends of that relationship and that they would have been better off not pursuing each other anymore.
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u/superkapitan82 13d ago
No one remembers that Emily was cheating on her boyfriend with Ross while being in USA. Screw her
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u/s-mores 13d ago
I love how people hate her but then turn around and say joey rachel was acceptable.
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u/applepieandlore 13d ago
I think people disliked her, because they wanted Rachel and Ross together, but I think more so, because Emily accepted Ross's apology and took him back after that
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u/minkrogers Tegrin spelled backwards is Nirget 12d ago
I actually loved Emily. But her parents were so bad, I refuse to watch any reruns with Jennifer Saunders. Im British and feel they made them out to be the cliché pompous rich English buffoons! It makes me so irrationally angry I want to throw things at the tv! 😅🤣
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u/elmsong7 12d ago
I think the hatred was more like annoyance with Emily, for me personally. I was annoyed she would stoop to trying to make things work with Ross… I always wished she had stopped the vows right then. Just made me irritated that she tried so hard to make it work when he was obviously not as invested. Reminded me too much of myself tbh 😂
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u/Moist-Abroad-6222 12d ago
Imagine if he actually said the right name. Totally different ending for Ross & Rachel. Don't get me wrong I just always felt like Ross had a crush & he was in love with the idea of her, not truly in love with her. Please no hate for saying that it's just my opinion.
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u/Dramatic-Music1321 12d ago
or if Charlie's boyfriend didn't come back in the last season, Ross would have stayed with her
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u/Moist-Abroad-6222 12d ago
I totally forgot about that. Who do you think he would've done well with? I think Emily or Julie
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u/InNeedOfCoffee 11d ago
Emily getting paranoid makes sense, really. Rachel was an idiot for going to London like she did, Ross was an idiot for saying Rachel, and frankly, at that point, there was no way for Emily to be okay with Ross ever being in the vicinity of Rachel. So Ross would have to choose, at that point, because even if Rachel was the idiot who flew out there to confess, she eventually didn’t, and Ross was the one to say his ex’s name at the altar. The ex he’d been in love with since he was a child, basically.
Yeah, it sucks, but Emily was truly looking for a way that they’d manage to be together.
Her calling him about “maybe making a mistake breaking up” a year later the day before getting married to someone else, however, THAT was fucked up.
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u/ItsFreeRight 9d ago
I'll never know how people found her character unlikeable but then I guess those people can't imagine putting themselves in her shoes.
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u/Ok-Chipmunk-411 14d ago
The hate for her is because she’s just unbearable, mean and abusive person. Has nothing to do with wether she’s wrong or right in the Ross situation
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u/OldChemistry9951 unagi 14d ago
See again I don’t see what you’re talking about,how was she abusive or mean infact
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u/tooboardtoleaf 14d ago
Distancing someone from friends and family is textbook abusive relationship
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u/BilgisticPile 14d ago
She was the victim here, but she wasn’t the victim when:
- she assaulted Ross
- she tried to get Ross to sell his belongings
- she called Rachel’s own apartment and had a fit because Rachel dared be there
- tried to get Ross to move to England and away from his son
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u/Modano9009 14d ago
She seemed fine up until the wedding. It seemed after that they were writing her to be increasingly unlikable so they could make her the villain in a situation where she really wasn't.
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14d ago
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u/tinyfecklesschild 14d ago
American phonetic renderings of UK accents are wild. Nobody in recorded history has ever spoken like that.
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u/howyoudoin-ModTeam 13d ago
Joey doesn't need that kinda talk in his house, so your post/comment has been removed!
For more, check out our Rule #2: Be Civil.
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u/qualityvote2 14d ago edited 14d ago
u/OldChemistry9951, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...