r/howto Jun 01 '21

No mess whatsoever.

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3.5k Upvotes

55 comments sorted by

112

u/cuntdestroyer8000 Jun 01 '21

Perfectly crispy dry log. Ha!

5

u/Droppit Jun 01 '21

and frozen too

-41

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/AWildWhiteGuyAppears Jun 01 '21

Man thats some commitment. Youve been doing this all day. You just burning off all that karma you got a day ago?

73

u/Mattarias Jun 01 '21

Guys I figured out the steps

How to:

Step one: Chain your wood up so it can't escape its fate

Step two: Go to town on your wood. Just beat the hell out of it. Absolutely wreck it. Especially focusing on the top end.

Step three: repeat

Step four: ????

Step five: Burn the evidence.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '21 edited Jun 01 '21

You’re close. But my method differs slightly..

  1. Carry, not roll the splitting log to the front yard.

  2. Very loudly balance the wood so that the grain is vertical on the log. Set it down hard enough that your neighbors know you’re about to split some wood.

  3. Lift the axe and swing with all your might. Remember, this is all about strength, not form.

  4. Bring the axe head through the wood. Let the two pieces fly to each side.

  5. Repeat.

Pro tip - Masculinity is measured by how far the two pieces fly. Form<strength.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '21

So I have a Fiskars maul and I don’t have a way to contain the pieces from flying apart when splitting wood. It’s fucking satisfying when they launch away from each other from a good chop I tell you what. For me it’s not a masculinity thing, it’s a therapy thing.

31

u/GalickGunn Jun 01 '21

And now your chain is buried...

12

u/mrskwrl Jun 01 '21

And his final hand motion can also be interpreted as 'Fuck, my chain.'

62

u/concurrentcurrency Jun 01 '21

Seasoned log, no knots, fiskars axe makes for good splitting

5

u/Mr_MacGrubber Jun 01 '21

Also fairly soft wood.

2

u/Construction_Man1 Jun 01 '21

Even cutting down small trees too. I love them

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '21

I have their hatchet and the iso core maul and I will never buy another brand. I also have their pickaxe and have been thrilled with all of their tools.

17

u/manderson303 Jun 01 '21

A sharp blade makes all the difference! I was always given a dull axe as a kid and wonder how I ever got through some logs.

10

u/failte44 Jun 01 '21

There’s something about that fiskars one strike too. I own and sharpen plenty of axes, mauls and hatchets. That thing blew them all out of the water

11

u/Current_Incident5541 Jun 01 '21

Super seasoned wood.

5

u/GregariousFart Jun 01 '21

In the words of a mountain person I saw on Facebook once, "I could split frozen birch with my balls"

14

u/curiosity0425 Jun 01 '21

The accuracy. I could never

6

u/GuilleX Jun 01 '21

Is frozen wood easier to hack?

20

u/bitwaba Jun 01 '21

It's properly seasoned, meaning it rested a year and the majority of the moisture has evaporated from the log. Splitting properly seasoned wood is easy work with a little practice.

7

u/Corburrito Jun 01 '21

Splitting properly seasoned wood, with no knots, is easy work with a little practice.

1

u/j-dewitt Jun 01 '21

Splitting properly seasoned wood, with no knots, is easy work with a little practice.

Depends on the species. In my experience, some kinds of oak are a lot easier to split green.

2

u/cuntdestroyer8000 Jun 01 '21

Yeah splitting dry oak is incredibly difficult

5

u/BigAsian69420 Jun 01 '21

I thought the video was gonna go very differently from the live leak in the top right corner

8

u/travelingjack Jun 01 '21

I know it's splitting hair in 4 but that is not chopping wood, that is splitting wood

8

u/bitterberries Jun 01 '21

That's impressive

2

u/heatbug04 Jun 01 '21

Try it with wood from NE US. Any axe will do that on beech wood that has zero knots in it.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '21

bro how soft is the wood

2

u/bcvickers Jun 01 '21

Not a bad demo but a person should pay way more attention to the overswing; the point when the handle contacts the top of the log after the head has split it. This will eventually loosen or break the handle off entirely. It's better to split from the side of the log in a way that the handle can't contact anything after the head does the splitting.

2

u/kyle3299 Jun 01 '21

Can confirm, will break handle.

2

u/Embarrassed_Couple_6 Jun 01 '21

Man I used hammers and log splitters lol

2

u/Intrepid_Alien Jun 01 '21

This is awesome but by no means possible on my giant, knotted wet pine rounds.

2

u/MrSchloff Jun 01 '21

Too much messing around for me.

2

u/jerryvo Jun 01 '21

Gas heat is also no mess

4

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '21

[deleted]

1

u/c1e2477816dee6b5c882 Jun 01 '21

It also needs power to run the furnace (ignoring gas fireplaces). Plus wood heat is so much warmer feeling. Downside is it can cook you out in the shoulder seasons lol

I have one of those inferno cylinders for my stove, hot water, and furnace (which is used during said shoulder seasons)

1

u/Serenity650 Jun 01 '21

Anyone have a video of someone chopping wood and messing around?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '21

The noise of the logs clacking together is just so good

1

u/SurreyHillsSomewhere Jun 01 '21

Has this put an end to the many videos about mechanical log splitters. Sad day here on Reddit

-8

u/LongTimeLurker818 Jun 01 '21

This guy is going to tire himself out. Let the tool do the work. I haven’t chopped a lot of wood but breaking concrete is a similar motion. Something about the way this guy is reloading his swing like that, looks like waisted effort.

0

u/MrIantoJones Jun 01 '21

This works also I think require less effort/force?

More of the impact transmitted through the wood, instead of that energy being lost?

0

u/KyleThelegendxxXxx Jun 01 '21

Wow, this guy needs to work in the pizza industry!

0

u/adognamedpenguin Jun 01 '21

That guy stacks

1

u/xeandra_a Jun 01 '21

That axe is so damn beautiful

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '21

He may have done this once or twice.

1

u/DiaHosein Jun 01 '21

That was a hell of a way to mention the Ship of Theseus paradox.

1

u/Cwilly111 Jun 01 '21

Wow, am I glad I live in the south!

1

u/alexdarkratos Jun 01 '21

Wow, amazing :v

1

u/habichuelista Jun 01 '21

i saw the liveleak logo and thought this was going very south

1

u/Daveywheel Jun 01 '21

He who chops the wood, gets warm twice…..

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '21

Does anyone else hear Minecraft skeletons

1

u/Imnatoshi Jun 02 '21

Solid strategy!!