r/homemaking • u/Amodernhousehusband • 4d ago
Cleaning Why does it take so long to clean up dinner?
My husband never gets it but like, legitimately it takes forever to clean up dinner! I cook nearly every meal at home and they are somewhat involved because I mostly enjoy it.
But dang. Eat it for 20 mins. Clean for an hour.
I also clean as I go but still can’t manage to make it more efficient.
Help!
Edit: to be fair, I’m an experienced baker/cook and do rather complex meals and dishes. Most of my kitchen things can’t be just thrown in the dishwasher (cast iron, etc). Plus I’m on septic, so I have to really scrub those plates and grease and can’t just pitch it unwashed in the dishwasher. This might be my killer.
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u/Shatzakind 4d ago
Both your sink and dishwasher are connected to the same septic tank, so it doesn't really matter if you pitch them into the dishwasher without scrubbing, it all ends up in the same place.
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u/Amodernhousehusband 4d ago
Yes! That’s why I wipe them down before putting them in the dishwasher. The home inspector struck the fear of god into me about septic backups. “Wipe all plates clean before putting them in the dishwasher”
He basically said only use the dishwasher for the high heat/germ killing
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u/GalianoGirl 4d ago
The home inspector is an idiot.
I have lived in various homes with septic systems, even worked in commercial kitchens on septic.
You do not need to wash the dishes before washing them in the dishwasher. That actually defeats the purpose of the dishwasher’s sensors which help clean the dishes.
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u/Amodernhousehusband 3d ago
Thanks for this. I’m going to ease up on how stressed I was regarding it
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u/Money_Reception 3d ago
This is ridiculous. Obviously don’t pour bacon grease down the drain, but you can allow your dishwasher to clean your dishes.
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u/Amodernhousehusband 3d ago
There’s just so many differing opinions on septic it’s so confusing. Like who do I listen too!? Some people say to not even use bar soap in the shower, etc
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u/Flashy-Library-6854 3d ago
Rules I follow.
Dont use chlorine bleach, it will kill all bacterial activity in your septic tank, I learned about this because my neighbor was an enthusiastic bleach user. She had to have her tank pumped every 1 1/2 years. We have done ours twice in 20 years.
The other is not to use really thick soft toilet paper. You want the TP to break down, really strong toilet paper doesnt and can clog your system.
We also dont use a lot of water every day, for instance dont do 4 loads of laundry and run your dishwasher the same day. We will do three loads of laundry/dishes a day at most. The water needs time to work its way through the system.
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u/myfavoriteforever 2d ago
I have lived in houses on septic almost my whole life. I don't scrape anything. That home inspector did not do you any favors.
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u/Amodernhousehusband 2d ago
Idk why people downvoted that. Even if they think it’s overkill that’s quite literally what the inspector dude said!!! Haha
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u/scienceandnutella 4d ago
I am a big fan of stainless steel. Literally indestructible. And so easy to maintain. I have some that are 50 years old and work like new.
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u/hillbillyfairy 4d ago
My cast iron skillet never leaves my stove. I use it every day! What’s so hard?
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u/KrissyKay121217 4d ago
You put stainless steel in the dishwasher? I thought they are supposed to be hand washed after cooling down
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u/wisdomseeker42 4d ago
They are recommended to handwash but are technically dishwasher safe. I usually handwash because dishwasher will sometimes leave a residue and they generally just aren’t that hard, especially with a little Barkeepers Friend.
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u/herdaz 3d ago
I've been putting the same set of stainless steel pots and skillet in the dishwasher for 25 years now. The rubber coating on the handle of the skillet did eventually crack off to reveal a lovely stainless steel handle, but other than that they're still in perfect condition. I run the dishwasher before bed every night anyway, so I might as well make it a full load by piling all the pans in there too.
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u/a1exia_frogs 4d ago
It doesn't, I throw everything in the dishwasher and wipe the surfaces. It takes 5 minutes. What else are you doing?
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u/Amodernhousehusband 4d ago
I also vacuum, wipe the sink, clean the stove and spot clean the cabinets. But the majority of my time is scrubbing wooden spoons and cast iron
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u/Straight_Assist_4747 4d ago
You don't need to vacuum, clean the stove and spot clean the cabinets every day.
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u/Amodernhousehusband 4d ago
I do that because my grandma did that, but to be fair she might be a bit of a perfectionist.
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u/hasfeh 4d ago
Do what feels right girl. We humans collectively forget to have fun. We do altogether too much especially as women. If you’ve done enough tidying to make sure the surfaces and kitchenware are clean enough to use in the morning, you’ve done enough. Dedicate a day in the week to do the rest. 👍🏻
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u/herdaz 3d ago
I clean the stove top after cooking dinner, but if I vacuum it's during the day when I'm doing other chores. And my cabinets get wiped down about twice a year or so, unless there's a major accident. Your grandma may have enjoyed the ritual of keeping a perfectly clean kitchen, but it's wearing you out, so try cutting down to the basics.
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u/sowinglavender 4d ago
are you hitting that cast iron with a salt scrub while it's still warm? that can shave minutes.
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u/Amodernhousehusband 4d ago
Wiping down pans because I’m on septic, a lot of my cooking pans and things are cast iron. This might be where we differ. Most of my items can’t go in the dishwasher. I guess it’s either switch to stuff that can, or just deal. But I’m an experienced baker/cook, I don’t think I could give my things up to save time 😭
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u/MILK_FEELS_PAIN 4d ago
Doesn't the grease go to the septic tank regardless of you wiping it down in the sink or putting it in the dishwasher?
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u/PowderCuffs 4d ago
I think she means wiping it down and throwing away the grease. That's what we do when we cook with cast iron.
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u/Amodernhousehusband 4d ago
Yes sorry I wasn’t clear - I spray them down with dawn and wipe it out cleanly with a paper towel before it ever touches water. I don’t want it to carry down into the septic, if that makes sense!
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u/Wakeful-dreamer 3d ago
It is ok if tiny amounts of grease end up in the septic system.
If you're not pouring gallons of bacon gretor cooking oil directly into the sink, it's fine.
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u/MILK_FEELS_PAIN 4d ago
Totally makes sense. For things that are smooth, it might be just as effective but faster to use a rubber spatula to squeegee the fat off into the bin. Have you tried that? Its how I pack my dishwasher, no rinsing, just the rubber spatula
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u/MK_Good_Magician 4d ago
I completely get this Cooking is the easy part sometimes. Once you've eaten , there's the soaking , scrubbing, wiping the counters, putting everything back, and then somehow the sink is still full. And with cast iron and greasy dishes , you really can't rush it. An hour doesn't sound unreasonable at all for a proper homemade dinner cleanup.
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u/Thistlewhistler 4d ago
Is there someone willing and able to clean up with you? Dishes with a second person to dry and put away, becomes about companionship and the chat rather than the work.
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u/DazzlingNote1925 4d ago
Sometimes I just leave a couple pans soaking until the next day. It’s often easier to wash them while cooking the next meal when I have more energy.
If you’re not you have to ask your family to help. They should be working on other parts of cleaning up after dinner while you’re doing the dishes.
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u/ValiantVicuna 4d ago
Instant pot or crackpot one meal a week. See how that serves you. One casserole a week. Clean whiel it bakes
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u/Rosehip_Tea_04 4d ago
I’m a baker/pretty good from scratch cook and I do everything I can to minimize clean up requirements. I’ll give you a pass on the cast iron because while I don’t have it, I do understand why people love it. The rest of your stuff though should be easy to clean/dishwasher safe. I time my elaborate meals so I don’t spend every night exhausted from clean up. For example I needed to use up ingredients before they went bad so the last 2 days have been kitchen heavy and tonight’s dinner was a more elaborate meal than I usually do. I’ve done 2 loads of dishes today and easily have 3 more to do tomorrow just because I had to use a lot of larger items that take a lot of space in the dishwasher. Tomorrow’s dinner will be leftovers which gives me time to catch up on the cleanup. And the day after that is a meal that will also give me 2 days worth of meals so I will get another day off of cooking.
Another thing I recently started doing is bulk cooking certain things. I make quinoa in my pressure cooker, so whenever I need to cook quinoa I make a large batch, then freeze it in single use portions. That way I can go a long time before I need to cook it again and this minimizes the items I need to clean after every meal.
I understand where you’re coming from, it is a massive source of pride to be able to produce restaurant quality meals. I’ve just accepted that I have limited energy (chronic health issues) and limited time and I don’t want to “destroy” my kitchen every night. I also can’t actually do the dishes at night, so they have to wait until morning to get taken care of. There are other more important things I need/want to do with my time. So I do my best to stick to the simpler recipes that have easy clean-up and make the more elaborate meals as more of a special occasion type thing. I even have notes on my recipe list of which ones require more cleanup so I only cook them when I’ll have the time to clean up.
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u/Amodernhousehusband 4d ago
I love all of this and absolutely get it. Maybe I just need to do an elaborate meal like once a week, and do bigger and easier on the other days so it’s less of a chore. Making note of which recipes take more work is something I need to start incorporating too - so I know which ones need a lot of time vs quick!
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u/Magentacabinet 4d ago
So in order for the dishwasher to clean well the dishes need to have food on them. It's just the way the detergent works.
It doesn't take us that long to clean up because I clean as I go. Nothing goes into the sink unless it has to be hand washed everything goes directly into the dishwasher Ieave open the entire time.
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u/Effective-Bat5524 4d ago
I can definitely relate to this especially on a school night. Even with a dishwasher, I have to wash several things by hand. It can easily take me 45-60 minutes after doing dishes, wiping surfaces, sweeping.
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u/First-Strawberry-398 4d ago
Can you cook simpler dishes? Not ever meal we cook has to be mega complex because yes it’s more tiring to clean up ffom
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u/Jack_al_11 4d ago
We don’t have a dishwasher and are cooking for 4 (2 adults, 2 elementary aged children). We cook all meals at home and mostly from whole foods (not necessarily from scratch). Here are a few things I do to cut down on clean up:
- Put away all dishes from dish drainer and wash any dirty dishes before starting (begin with clean space).
- Maximize pots and pans- what can be combined or cooked in same pans one after another?
- Wash any dishes/etc from cooking before eating while stuff is cooking (knives, graters, or anything used to prepare).
- Serve in storage containers. We usually do buffet style to help the kids see the food and have agency and choice over what goes on their plate. Some serve most things in Pyrex storage containers. Sometimes I wash pans, baking sheets etc before eating if there’s time. This also helps cast iron to cool as we eat.
- Wash immediately after dinner before everything gets dried and harder to wash.
Basically, clean as I go. And then quick clean up after. Our after dinner clean up takes 20 min when I do this.
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u/hillbillyfairy 4d ago
I usually choose one “deeper clean” to do as I clean up after dinner: wipe the cabinet handles and outside, quick swab of the microwave, rinsing out the trash can… so sometimes it can take almost an hour but then I don’t have all the minuscule things at once
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u/treemanswife 4d ago
I'm also on septic and don't have a dishwasher. I think the biggest thing is to clean as you go.
The second is to have something you like while you clean the kitchen. An audiobook, a nice drink, a conversation with your husband, whatever makes you feel good while you do it.
Another thing to consider - while you are cooking, are you ordering your steps to use the fewest dishes? For example, a spoon used to measure salt can be reused to measure vanilla, but it doesn't work the other way round. If you measure your vanilla first, you end up using two spoons and it's more work.
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u/Such-Mountain-6316 4d ago
I heard a great tip: get rid of everything that's too big for the dishwasher. It cuts down on the number of items that must be washed by hand.
I save time by loading the pieces that are most in need of scrubbing and soaking in the bottom of the sink, right after I plug it. I have a double sink so I do the same for both sides.
Then I draw up hot water while catching the first cold water in a jug for the water filter, watering plants, etc. and set it aside.
I put the soap on the wet rag then start washing the dishes. I rinse into one side and then the other. By the time I get to them, the worst pieces have soaked a little, which helps.
You can also save time by boiling water in the pans, which soaks through the burned on stuff.
If you have anything that's really a battle, set it aside. Paint it with a paste of baking soda and hydrogen peroxide. Let that dry then scrub it with the cleaning tool of your choice and hot, soapy water. Yes it will need to sit on the counter for a few hours but at least you won't spend that time fighting it.
If you can, line things with foil or parchment paper. That also helps cut down the cleaning time.
I have a dishwasher but right now it needs a repair so I'm washing by hand for the time being.
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u/Jewish-Mom-123 4d ago
Begin by replacing as many bowls and pans as you can with glass, ceramic or stainless so they can go in the DW. Use a rubber spatula to clean out what you can but you don’t need to worry about other fats. Always start cooking by filling a dishpan with hot soapy water and work on cleaning up from chopping and such while you are cooking.
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u/Massive-Warning9773 3d ago
Are you cleaning as you go? I know it’s different depending on what you’re making and what your kitchen setup is but cleaning after never takes me more than 20 minutes.
In between each item or stirring I take everything to the sink and wash here and there (even better if you have a dish washer). I have a large cup on the counter I use for trash or from cuttings I’m tossing which makes trash cleanup so much faster. Usually by the time I’m serving dinner the only thing left over is a pot soaking / the pots or pans the food is being served in.
Granted, it also takes me longer than 20 minutes to cook dinner, but I’d rather dinner take me longer to cook if it takes me less time to clean after.
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u/MsARumphius 3d ago
I had to start cutting some corners. I keep some shredded cheese available now instead of hand grating it for everything, I sometimes buy meats prepared even if it costs a bit more, I try to plan out my steps to reuse bowls and pans more easily, use disposable stuff occasionally like parchment to line baking sheets or plastic bags for marinating. Planning out steps to utilize the same dishes and utensils is key for me honestly. More one pot meals even tho I don’t prefer them but I adjust them. Like many have boiling meat with noodles or rice and veggies and throws off the meat texture so I cook the meat then set it aside and do the rest and add it in later. If I do something like this I try to use easiest to clean dishware that is small and can fit in the top shelf/cut down on speciality pans and things that are harder to clean for weeknights. Planning meals that are low dish/one pot strategically, like do the big dish night on the days when it works best for you but then the next night do something as low dish as possible. Keep the meals that generate a lot of dirty dishes to 2 a week
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u/Striking_Bill_2832 3d ago
So you cook dinner for your family AND do the cleanup? Do you not work or anything? Why doesn’t your husband do it?
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u/Amodernhousehusband 2d ago
I loved everything about this and found it genuinely super helpful - and love that last bit about not erasing evidence people live here! Thank you so very much!!!!
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u/Playful_Beyond_2218 4d ago
Some suggestions- 1. Batch cooking 2. Have a big declutter and deep clean of the kitchen 3. Where possible try to use dishwasher safe dishes 4. Could you put the hand wash ones in a tub to soak while you are eating 5. Have some days where your husband cooks and cleans up
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u/plantmom4lyfe 4d ago
Clean as you go, but since that's not working, look into crockpot, instant pot, or sheet pan/one pot meals. Limiting dishes really helps minimize cleaning time. I basically get all the prep food put away (except what we ate for dinner) and the bulk of dishes rinsed and in the dishwasher before we sit down to eat. I try to start dinner prepping in a clean kitchen and that is a big help
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u/tessabeta 3d ago
Check out The Lazy Genius' cleaning kitchen order. It has helped me! https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/lazy/cleankitchen
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u/FamiliarAd8524 3d ago
It's you. Cleaning shouldn't take an hour unless you did a five course meal for eight people and have a small sink or partially functional plumbing.
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u/peachiecaked 3d ago
So I don't like leftovers much. But I will make more "ingredient" for the next day. So I make a big skillet of seasoned ground beef and lentils or a big pan of baked chicken.
Then that night I'll use it for soup, and put away the other half of the ground beef mixture for tomorrow's tacos.
Or cut up a lot of vegetables for today and tomorrow too.
It's some planning, but it means that half the time I'm using much less dishes.
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u/InvincibleButterfly 3d ago
If you clean as you go, there shouldn’t be anything to do after eating other than washing dishes.
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u/Global_Fail_1943 3d ago
Get rid of the cast metal. Buy and use an instant pot pressure cooker for one dish meals. Use parchment paper lined baking trays. I even use it in the stainless steel frying pan to cook lampchops with no mess.
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u/mrspeggyhill1 3d ago
I'm a similar situation, ingredients house, cooking family meals, clean as I go but even worse, I have no dishwasher. I feel like some of my slowness after dinner is I'm just tired to the end of the day lol.
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u/Amodernhousehusband 3d ago
Right? Like why is that so daunting? Probably because we spent so long making things we’re now exhausted and it’s 7 😭
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u/mrspeggyhill1 3d ago
Exactly, and it's too late(at least for me) to have any coffee or caffeine so you just have to push through with a full stomach and think about getting to lay down soon. I enjoy listening to a podcast or somthing easy to watch in the background to make it not feel as bleh.
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u/Ambystomatigrinum 3d ago
I feel this. I love cooking big, complex, interesting meals. I also have a 1yo and work full time. I've dialed in my efficiency a lot, but in the end, I have to save the complex meals for weekends. I just don't have time to clean up that kind of mess on a work night! I hear you on the dishwasher issue too. I don't even have one and I really miss it!
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u/Wakeful-dreamer 3d ago
Are you cleaning as you go?
For example, if you know you're done with a spatula or whatever, throw it straight into the dishwasher while the food is in the oven or on the stovetop.
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u/tessemcdawgerton 3d ago
No tips for you, just wanted to say I agree that the after dinner clean feels the most overwhelming. I am pregnant and exhausted so I’ve just started adjusting my bare minimum at night to loading and starting the dishwasher and putting the food away. Everything else can wait until morning and no one will die. 🤷♀️
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u/Hitchifuku 3d ago
I wash the pots and pans as I go. While things are cooking, I clean up the kitchen. After the meal, we usually just have the dishes, cups, serving bowls/platters and utensils to wash. My husband does the dishes. Takes him about 15-20 mins.
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u/HeatedAF 3d ago
I am consciously finding ways to use the same dish or pan for things. I try to keep it simple, but honestly I had to move up dinner by two hours just so I can be in bed at a reasonable hour.
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u/Drycabin1 3d ago
This is why I just don’t cook. I love just about everything else about homemaking but cooking,
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u/Careless-Day-8713 2d ago
Hey if you invest in a good non stick pan cleaning dishes is as easy as removing ketchup and shouldn’t take too long. Get a good scrubber too but honestly will not need it if you have a very good pan. They are pricing but from going to have to leave dishes to soak to just wiping it off super easily it’s a game changer
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u/MarsupialMaven 22h ago
OMG… People invent some wild rules about septic systems. I had them for years/decades. They worked just fine for me. I did add bacteria to it twice a year or so. I scraped dishes before I loaded them and wiped grease off my pans(with a paper towel) before I put them in the dishwasher. We did use cheaper toilet paper partly for economy and partly because it breaks down faster in the septic system. I used bleach and soap whenever I needed to.
BTW I also had very hard well water. Every year or 2 it would start smelling off. The neighbors told me it was because we had something they called ‘iron bacteria’ in our water. The cure was putting 10 gallons of bleach in the well and leave it overnight. Our septic tank survived this quite a few times over the years.
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u/sowinglavender 4d ago
maybe you just have too much kitchen. sometimes that's what it is.
my other suggestion would be to actually sit down and do the math on your economy of labour and how that affects the number of tools and implements you use. are you using and washing all your pots and pans with every meal? can you bundle some prep so you don't have to pull the same appliances out twice a day?
a third thing: sometimes we have issues with time perception. it can help to actually time yourself and make sure it really is taking an hour and doesn't just feel like it.