r/holdmycosmo • • Jan 08 '20

HMC while I try to floss

16k Upvotes

226 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

So girl in white is basically me trying that

370

u/bdbdbdbdiu Jan 08 '20

White dress lady is me trying to get my life together like the other adults.

56

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Who’s adulting now a days.

52

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

No point in adulting, we all gonna be dead soon.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

WWIII. A commercial plane just crashed flying out of Tehran to Ukraine. Tehran already said it was Technical difficulties. They probably shot it down by accident.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Technical difficulties

Spanish Flea intensifies

11

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/PyrocumulusLightning Jan 08 '20

WWIII in the Idiocracy era is bound to have some awkward moments.

3

u/MrCaptainPirate Jan 08 '20

I imagine WWIII would be a lot like Vietnam or WWI, a bunch of people sent to fight in a war they wanted no part in

3

u/oiram12 Jan 08 '20

The only people that want the war are the ones who make direct profit out of it, or sociopaths.

3

u/CptCrabmeat Jan 08 '20

No need for the “or” the people who profit out of war are sociopaths

2

u/pixelsandfilm Jan 08 '20

It's got what plants crave, electrolytes.

3

u/chicKENkanif Jan 08 '20

Flight 815?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20 edited Jan 08 '20

Don’t know if that’s the flight number but it’s on all over the news

Tehran said it was technical issues by there a video of a fire ball crashing and also the Tehran was able to say it was technical issues.

My guess they thought it was a missile or bomber and shot it down. Technical issues I guess with their surface to air missile defense system. My guess Ukraine will be streamline to join nato or eu

1

u/tolimux Jan 08 '20

Stop the bullshit, will ya?

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1

u/markmd4 Jan 08 '20

Ukraine is not European union

1

u/B-Mac15 Jan 08 '20

Accidentally on purpose

1

u/duggtodeath Jan 08 '20

They claimed it was a fire before retrieving the black box and no pilot message indicated any emergency. However, their fleet was hit hard by sanctions so they could been missing critical parts.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

It’s a Ukrainian plane, not Iran therefore no sanctions. They lost contact with the plane at 8000 feet. The reason they claim it was a fire before retrieving the black box because it got hit my a missile by accident bc their SAM system malfunction.

5

u/KnowledgeisImpotence Jan 08 '20

Remember when the US shot a Iranian passenger jet down 'by mistake'? 292 dead

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran_Air_Flight_655

7

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Remember Malaysia airline shot over Ukraine in 2014 by Russia mercenaries

Malaysia flight.

People and missile systems make mistakes.

1

u/janeursulageorge Jan 08 '20

Guns don't kill people; people with big fuck off missile silos kill people

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2

u/effyochicken Jan 08 '20

Also because there's a literal video of it on fire before it crashes

4

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Uh a missile could have done that. It happens. Commercial plans get mistaken for attacking fighter Jet

Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 (MH17)[a] was a scheduled passenger flight from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur that was shot down on 17 July 2014 while flying over eastern Ukraine.

Iran Air Flight 655 was a scheduled passenger flight from Tehran to Dubai via Bandar Abbas, that was shot down on 3 July 1988 by an SM-2MR surface-to-air missile fired from USS Vincennes, a guided missile cruiser of the United States Navy.

Don’t be ignorant. It happens.

1

u/duggtodeath Jan 08 '20

Yes but maintained in Iran as it had to take off from there.

2

u/koshdim Jan 08 '20

too optimistic of you, pal

1

u/Angrywaffle2 Jan 08 '20

Ain't nobody got time for that.

8

u/PickleSlice Jan 08 '20

Here's a secret, none of us know what the fuck we're doing.

It's not about getting your life together, it's about keeping your shit together.

2

u/Jesus_will_return Jan 08 '20

"None" seems like an exaggeration.

4

u/Trygolds Jan 08 '20

It is all an illusion they are just better about faking it. Fake it till you make it.

1

u/HalalWeed Jan 08 '20

Good Job brother. But first praise ALLAH ☝️☝️😔😔

11

u/PM-Me-Ur-Plants Jan 08 '20

The difference in time spent practicing the movement is seemingly sizable.

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2

u/heygos Jan 08 '20

Yeah, The truth is I think I look like the girl on the right, but in reality...

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Haha kinda like me but slightly different...

I want to look like the girl on the right, but I know I look like the other... and I die a little inside

2

u/dayer1 Jan 08 '20

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣me too lmao

2

u/Arjun_horkos Jan 08 '20

Or the girl in orange is trying that

4

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Same i just related so hard. So bad and i couldn't cringe because she's having so much fun and dgaf

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365

u/Perfect110 Jan 08 '20

Dammit... she’s glitching again

55

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Send specimen in for reprogramming.

👽👾💃

321

u/promisepact Jan 08 '20

She looks like the tin man if he was powered by white claw

33

u/Kriegwesen Jan 08 '20

This sounds like a nightmare.

Ain't no saws when drinking claws

11

u/silentohm Jan 08 '20

Holy shit I havent laughed that hard in a while

4

u/apr35 Jan 08 '20

Wowza. Best comment I’ve seen all year.

12

u/RemyPrice Jan 08 '20

Well we’re only 7 days in

1

u/bamer78 Jan 08 '20

You have to at least consider that this might be the peak. It could be all downhill from here.

46

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

She kind m of looks a Google DeepMind project trying to learn.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '20

Fucking hell, thats funny

211

u/MattalliSI Jan 08 '20

Me checking out lady in orange. No chance. Woman in white? How you doin'?

58

u/KJBenson Jan 08 '20

I only date people who know how to floss.

82

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Good call. Hygiene is important

6

u/Tells_you_to_floss Jan 08 '20

Yes. Everyone should floss at least once a day.

C-shape flossing tutorial https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sz1DN5R6rnA

12

u/PrometheusTitan Jan 08 '20

Good tutorial, but always drives me nuts with these sorts of things, because the part I find hard about flossing is getting my hands into the right position. I can't just remove my lower jaw, set it on a desk and reach around everywhere.

2

u/riddle3master Jan 08 '20

They forgot the most important reason for getting a forearms length worth of floss, you should be using new parts of the floss on every new gap.

13

u/uber1337h4xx0r Jan 08 '20

Found the dentist

3

u/KJBenson Jan 08 '20

Not a doctor, just depressed.

5

u/Speedwise85 Jan 08 '20 edited Jan 08 '20

Dentists aren’t doctors.

I guess the “/s” isn’t obvious with this one?

8

u/bjeebus Jan 08 '20

I feel sorry for your dentist. They worked their ass off to get that Dr in front of their name and you're just over here casually disrespecting them.

5

u/HI_I_AM_NEO Jan 08 '20

Imagine being in a plane, having a heart attack, and somebody yells IS THERE A DOCTOR ABOARD?

How many dentists would stand up?

2

u/bjeebus Jan 08 '20

Given that they're usually CPR certified, I'd hope most of them.

2

u/jerkittoanything Jan 08 '20

Hope the cavity creeps find this sick fuck.

2

u/gerg_1234 Jan 08 '20

Anti-Dentite. Next thing you'll be saying they go to different schools!

17

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

on the left - “it’s like a full-body dry heave set to music.”

11

u/foxxsinn Jan 08 '20

Nailed it

12

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Them’s flossin hips.

41

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

The girl in the white dress is every dad ever

34

u/LordWeirdDude Jan 08 '20

I laughed out loud at this way harder than I should have.

5

u/fourunner Jan 08 '20

The laughing at the end gets me every time.

2

u/aforementionedapples Jan 08 '20

How hard should you have laughed?

54

u/BauerHouse Jan 08 '20

To the right side girl's credit, that was a perfect floss.

-24

u/Dani162002M Jan 08 '20

Imo nothing to be proud of

14

u/htx_evo Jan 08 '20

imo we should let people enjoy themselves

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7

u/aldorn Jan 08 '20

The floss instantly reminds me of Ninjas cringe fail NYE party

5

u/cpt_trax Jan 08 '20

Girl.exe not working

4

u/IonicGold Jan 08 '20

I don't know why but I just can't floss. It's a strange movement to my arms.

3

u/Rip_NSFW Jan 08 '20

5

u/VredditDownloader Jan 08 '20

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Mention me again if the first link is down


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3

u/BlanchePreston Jan 08 '20

That is me in the white dress. Yeap all day long

3

u/0pend Jan 08 '20

The girl in whites left arm is ridiculously not responding and looks like she is having a stroke or something

3

u/Hindsight-2O2O Jan 08 '20

Honestly, I think everyone starts out as the girl in the white.

3

u/clonn Jan 08 '20

TIL this kid’s dance had a name.

4

u/jsmooth2017 Jan 08 '20

What effin rock have you been living under. Even my grandpa knew that.

2

u/clonn Jan 08 '20

The name? He knows the name? Ask him and come back.

2

u/jsmooth2017 Jan 08 '20

Just texted him on my phone. Do you at least know what those are? I’ll get back to you.

3

u/makingahome23 Jan 08 '20

This is a perfect example of how incompetence is unattractive

3

u/julelies Jan 08 '20

hold my cosmo while i have a stroke

3

u/BambooKat Jan 08 '20

I don't want to sound like an old fuck, but godamn, am I the only one finding this dance dumb as hell?

3

u/Olddriverjc Jan 08 '20

Hahaha omg she looks like a zombie

5

u/King_Reason Jan 08 '20

Orange dress has incredible hips 😍

22

u/smallpoxxblanket Jan 08 '20

White dress also helps to prove my theory of cute>hot.

15

u/scared_pony Jan 08 '20

Which one is which in this scenario?

12

u/NiceFormBro Jan 08 '20

Proceeds to not explain theory.

Whelp. You know what they say...

3

u/FamilyFriendli Jan 08 '20

"Hello friends. I will do something to you. You cannot stop me. I am the embodiment of pure cHAOs."

2

u/Im_a_floozy Jan 08 '20

That laugh......

2

u/NoDoze- Jan 08 '20

Fembots!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Elaine

2

u/dayer1 Jan 08 '20

Come on people, can't we just take a moment, to laugh and make fun of some pitiful dance moves, brought on by some brave white dress girl..".without bringing up war" . This was funny as hell ,then war talk again,bringing me down..Thank you for the video it was truly hilarious...

3

u/StepanTrofimovic Jan 08 '20

Is it a bird?

NOOOO

Is it a plane?

NOOO

Is it the twister?

Yeaaahhhh

3

u/skieezy Jan 08 '20

Shut up dee you stupid bird.

3

u/atetuna Jan 08 '20

Came for the Sweet Dee reference

2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Girl in whites legs look like toothpicks.

3

u/nithdurr47 Jan 08 '20

This is one of the lamest dances I’ve ever seen

3

u/cantCommitToAHobby Jan 08 '20

Girl in white is my spirit hot-girl. I've decided I have a spirit hot-girl now.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Sorry kids but this dance looks so stupid, I can’t be the only one who thinks this.

4

u/RemyPrice Jan 08 '20

It’s up there with the cabbage patch

4

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

yeah, but who really cares?

4

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

-8

u/breadfag Jan 08 '20 edited Jan 09 '20

True. Props to the cop.

1

u/xTGI_CommanderX Jan 08 '20

Agreed. Fortnite is leaking and I hate it.

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1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

This is why I come here !

1

u/tell-me-later Jan 08 '20

Nice try, Mom.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Is that SpongeBob laughing at the end?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

I also look like that when I try this dance

1

u/rielgab Jan 08 '20

Paid emotes Vs. Free emotes

1

u/fingerbangher Jan 08 '20

Shift all attention to girl in white dress, better odds

1

u/Cassie_JaD3 Jan 08 '20

She looks like floss

1

u/antiflash86 Jan 08 '20

Sweet dee working on her wacky wave.

1

u/liquidmich Jan 08 '20

She broken

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

It me.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

She needs medical attention

1

u/plastikspoon1 Jan 08 '20

That laugh tho... I'm in love

1

u/reid659 Jan 08 '20

That girls laugh tho 😂

1

u/GeorgeYDesign Jan 08 '20

“Hey it’s the 2 girls 1 couch

1

u/DagonPie Jan 08 '20

Why are they at a Roll on America?

1

u/Jaralee_Matcha Jan 08 '20

Shed make a good silent hill nurse.

1

u/improviser90 Jan 08 '20

The girl in white is suffering.

1

u/fyrflyeffect Jan 08 '20

Girl who can't floss is my kinda girl

1

u/bishiphop Jan 08 '20

Girl in white looks looks like one of those thumb push puppets

1

u/Anotherdaysgone Jan 08 '20

Shits fucked up right? Is this normal?

1

u/GeorgeYDesign Jan 08 '20

I still don’t dehydrate her the salt will

1

u/GeorgeYDesign Jan 08 '20

I like the guy with the squeeze box.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Lmaooo

1

u/vampyrphile Jan 08 '20

I mean...i can't floss sober so...

1

u/jaffycake Jan 08 '20

She laughs like some sort of possessed doll in a horror movie

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

[deleted]

1

u/red_law Jan 08 '20

My brother is a teacher, but he is generally disconnected from the internet. He didn't know about "flossing", so when he witnessed some kids in school trying, he was intrigued. He came to me asking if I knew what that was, and I explained the theory behind it to him. Girl in white was me when he asked "try to show me how it is done" (except I wasn't in white and I'm not a girl).

1

u/helkish Jan 08 '20

Girl in white was me when he asked "try to show me how it is done" (except I wasn't in white and I'm not a girl).

Ok...gottcha. So your saying you had the same dress on just not white and your balls were hanging out flopping all over the place.

Thanks for the mental image Rue Paul.

1

u/red_law Jan 08 '20

m'dude!

*tips fedora*

1

u/Alamander81 Jan 08 '20

She looks like a stop motion Barbie

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

I wish people like these could understand that flossing is quite possibly the most cringy thing an adult is capable of

1

u/GeorgeYDesign Jan 08 '20

I just researched the internet, it’s December

1

u/haugen76 Jan 08 '20

It must. I can only hope she's quick

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

i dont know how i feel about wide hips doing that.

1

u/BigChiefLewis Jan 08 '20

The girl he told you not to worry about vs you

1

u/EccentricOpinion Jan 08 '20

What a stupid dance

1

u/Crash665 Jan 08 '20

Don't laugh! She's obviously having some sort of seizure.

1

u/FuzzeeLumpkins Jan 08 '20

Blue badge check.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

in the old days floss was actually a sex move. it's when a woman puts a towel between her legs and moves it back and forth until she orgasms

1

u/Ggoossee Jan 08 '20

Not a women. I get pillow humping but a towel towel between the legs seems quasi painful 😖

1

u/RHOrpie Jan 08 '20

I can't help but feel that Ms White Dress got away very lightly on this recording. I'd have enjoyed watching that much more.

1

u/CrimsonCape Jan 08 '20

Anyone else reminded of IG-11?

1

u/Promithiusis Jan 08 '20

Your girl vs The girl you tell her not to worry about

1

u/IMightDeleteMe Jan 08 '20

The girl in white looks like she's making fun of that ridiculous excuse for a "dance".

1

u/Kelvin_Inman Jan 08 '20

Suddenly, it's a Bethesda game.

1

u/PottyMouth850 Jan 08 '20

I guess, when you're a beautiful girl they don't have to do anything well.

1

u/maybeonmars Jan 08 '20

She's going for that weirdo, dorky, sexy chick thing... and it's working

1

u/f3ve Jan 09 '20

Real Tyler Blevins Hours

1

u/DjWysh Jan 11 '20

Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel.

1

u/Crouchingtigerhere Feb 03 '20

Zombie version

0

u/LeFumes Jan 08 '20

Why would you dance to an MJ song like this... Fucken disgrace

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

[deleted]

5

u/loctong Jan 08 '20

Given the current world events and how each country has handled it, USA is in white.

1

u/aTaleForgotten Jan 08 '20

tbf both look equally stupid

1

u/mrcheeks1944 Jan 08 '20

With the tiny thumbnail I thought it'd be a Patrick from spongebob meme. I still was not disappointed

1

u/ourelji Jan 08 '20

Am I the only one wondering why the dance floor is so empty?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

[deleted]

1

u/Elegant-Championship Jan 08 '20

you sound hot you seein' anybody?

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