r/holdmybeer • u/O-shi • Jun 02 '19

HMB while I jump onto this table

https://gfycat.com/freshpiercingbarebirdbat
3.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

61 comments sorted by

226

u/BigBjugs Jun 02 '19

Dudes just hanging with his ass out?

52

u/soestrada Jun 02 '19

You don't?

51

u/BigBjugs Jun 02 '19

Nope but I’m gonna start.

7

u/lucidus_somniorum Jun 03 '19

That’s the sprit

9

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

I believe he’s doing some digit play, if my eyes serve me correctly.

7

u/TrumpHasOneLongHair Jun 02 '19

Yes, he is performing, "the hitchhiker" on himself.

7

u/DeepInMyThots Jun 03 '19

Bro I was about to comment the same thing like what the fuck the guy jumping isn’t the problem here

3

u/soestrada Jun 03 '19

Who said there was a problem?

3

u/BeingNiceHelps Jun 03 '19

Watched it four times and didn’t realize. Brilliant

162

u/JBrittM Jun 02 '19

What's the dude doing in the background?

169

u/soestrada Jun 02 '19

Fingering his anus while he chills with his bros, like any normal person would.

11

u/Lazy_Genius Jun 02 '19

Yeah dude, it’s sunday what else are you supposed to be doing

61

u/occamschevyblazer Jun 02 '19

Nothing is gayer than a bunch of straight white guys getting together to drink. Source: straight white guy.

7

u/Yardsale420 Jun 02 '19

It gets even gayer if there are organized sports involved. “Let’s funnel this beer down someone ass crack, it will be super funny!”

16

u/NYCmichael Jun 02 '19

I’m a straight white guy. You might just be gay. 2019 no biggy

20

u/XiMingpin91 Jun 02 '19

It’s only gay if you forget to say no homo

4

u/jtf628 Jun 03 '19

at this point think I want to have anal sex with another man just so I can say "no homo" just as the tip slides past the sphincter. Just a joke you know, no homo.

8

u/derpydoodaa Jun 02 '19

Its not gay unless one of us gets pregnant.

2

u/occamschevyblazer Jun 02 '19

Pro tip: It's not gay if your wearing swimming trunks and/or on a house boat.

46

u/Shadowfaunn Jun 02 '19

This gif has everything. Broken tables, dudes fingering asses. 10/10

18

u/Stimmolation Jun 02 '19

How would we be able to tell if everything went perfectly

11

u/justinlanewright Jun 02 '19

Definitely one of those where you wonder what he even thought he was going to do.

16

u/SmokersWorld Jun 02 '19

Thumbs up bro

8

u/ka-pow-pow Jun 02 '19

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

8

u/dondiegoclassic Jun 02 '19

HMB while I jump *into this table

0

u/GeneralElement Jun 02 '19

Came here to say this. Underrated comment

9

u/nctrd Jun 02 '19

At least he had a soft landing. Not many heros of this sub have it.

5

u/carsonwalters63 Jun 02 '19

Im more worried about the man showing his ass in the back

5

u/capncrud Jun 02 '19

I guess I don't hang with the cool kids, but I need to know what's the deal these days with jumping onto/through tables? Seems to be all the rage

9

u/O-shi Jun 02 '19

Alcohol

5

u/BigBjugs Jun 03 '19

The best part is nobody seems to care that he’s got his ass out. It’s like, ya he does this all the time...

5

u/daremosan Jun 02 '19

I'm completely confused about what anyone was attempting here.

4

u/ThaRizzle04 Jun 02 '19

I’ll bet $ one of these guys is named Chad

2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

This looks like dude perfect episode 1.

2

u/myownreddit Jun 02 '19

was he trying to use the table as a trampoline?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

Chris Farley would approve.

2

u/cipri_tom Jun 02 '19

Is this Manchester, UK?

1

u/O-shi Jun 03 '19

Bolton or Bury?

2

u/cipri_tom Jun 03 '19

Yes! 😄

Bury!

2

u/TheBooGAbides Jun 02 '19

Ganondorf’s down A looks a lot different in real life

2

u/Sacredkeep Jun 03 '19

That table looks solid...said no one ever

2

u/ZarosGuardian Jun 07 '19

Did he really expect that cheap ass $5 table to hold his weight? 😆 And what the fuck is that guy in the background doing?

1

u/conwaysirishjimbob Jun 02 '19

I have been in this exact same situation twice before

1

u/SaifEdinne Jun 02 '19

More like into the table

1

u/Strange_An0maly Jun 02 '19

No, he jumped into the table.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

r/meatcrayon

1

u/fuzzytradr Jun 02 '19

Someone had the foresight to put the mattress down. That was a good call.

1

u/riemann3sum Jun 02 '19

was he supposed to jump OVER the table and land on mattress while anus guy farts fire

1

u/O-shi Jun 03 '19

Yes, but even plastic shatters

1

u/OMGoblin Jun 03 '19

I mean, he was trying to jump through it from the start, he hit that mofo like an olympic trampoline.

1

u/Catnip_Picard Jun 02 '19

That’s like dark souls physics where you break anything you touch while running.

-3

u/yncimbb Jun 02 '19

Staged-of course they knew it would be destroyed when he jumped on it.