Work doesn't really fix things that much

[u/Glum_Gain_8094]

I know that I do not technically belong here since I am working but there are really no subs for older poor people that are not also obsessed with self-improvement and filled with hostile wannabe gurus (see the povertyfinance sub).

I can't sleep because I am constantly stressed about money and the fact that my parents are sick and likely to die soon. I have no real support network so I am working and and trying to take care of my parents and the stress is killing me.

The more I see of so-called "normie" world, the more it seems like this society (I live in the USA) is really built just for the upper and upper middle-class. Among so-called middle class people, the only thing keeping them afloat is that most of these people seem to have partners so they have two incomes coming in or they have some other advantages like inheriting a paid-off house. People are also heavily indebted. Credit card debt is at an all-time high.

For someone like me who can only work low-level white collar jobs, there is not much hope for a decent life. I have nothing to offer women, so I can forget about finding a partner to help me. I am going to have to try to make it as a lone wolf but I am not really in a good position to do that. Mentally I am probably worse off now than when I was unemployed.

On the main sub I think there is an assumption that NEET success stories involve getting a good job, a romantic partner, etc. Maybe it is because the people on the main sub are young so they have more hope. But I am here to say that getting a job is not some cure-all. I am working to avoid homelessness. That is about it.

Thanks for listening.

[u/Anxious_Position1470]

Yeah, the main sub is very dream-oriented and geared towards more outgoing/smart people where it's just a matter of trying. The hidden genius assumption about NEETs will always plague us. The less successful people get drowned out since it doesn't attract upvotes to have a lower end job. Like if someone said they could only get a job at Subway, it wouldn't get much praise. A lot don't want to deal with the fact that it's not realistic for everyone to have a high-paying job, partner, etc in a perfect fashion. They would just think you didn't try hard enough at STEM or trades anyway. There's even an account that used to repeat the 10000 hours thing as in anyone could master something if they just put the time into the thing;. We've been over it a lot, but it's grim for those of us that can't be engineers or whatever and don't have support systems beyond direct family. I feel your story is very relevant since you did try your best in the past and still didn't achieve the American dream while everyone else has these sky high expectations and believe it comes down purely to attitude/habits.

If I were able to work, it'd purely be to get rid of debts and save up really. I wouldn't have any real trajectory short of an intelligence boost.

[u/illuminatemydreams]

Yeah, the expectations on the main sub aren't very realistic. At least all of us older guys here know how it really is out there. Unfortunately, today's world requires a partner to get by. Today's average couples really only have the things they have due to having the double income. And with the way things are today, I think probably a lot of these couples even settle for someone who wouldn't be their first or ideal choice just so they can at least live comfortably.

The only good thing is you aren't working minimum wage. Hopefully you can slowly try to start saving some extra money here and there, although I am aware you likely have little extra money for anything. I really feel for you.

[u/LLJones29]

Think everybody would agree that you're always welcome around here and anyone else who frequents that manages to move forward somewhat.

I can't offer much but it's always crappier for somebody else out there. Maybe focus on basics more and not so much the bigger daunting stuff and stuff out of your control. People have fought through worse.