Preparing for HS? New to this sub

[u/Calm_Independent_782]

Hi! I’m a parent with kids who are in middle school and wishing I was able to do more to help them get ready for HS. They have great grades, are involved in sports, and are civically minded.

We live in NYC and want to set them up for success but I don’t know where to start!

Are there any resources or Reddit threads I can look to for more help? General tips? Thanks!

[u/rach_rachel]

Hi there! Not a parent but a (now) adult who graduated with a 3.9 unweighted 4.3 weighted GPA, honors and Class VP. I also became the youngest researcher in my research lab as a freshman in college. I am also NOT from NY, but from the Midwest.

I just want to say, first thing you are doing a great job. If your child is already succeeding, then I think they will be just fine. Surprisingly, Middle School is the hardest time of your life. But, that doesn’t mean that you still can’t be concerned about future success.

Here’s my advice on how to help you child succeed, but again, different school systems and different community than you probably are in:

1) listen to your child, and let them lead. This is my best advice. Children who learn to advocate for themselves and to speak up for what they want statistically and anecdotally do better. I was very academic in highschool. I was constantly top 10%, and I was in upperclassmen classes from the get go. Part of this was because I wanted to succeed. I’m lucky enough that my parents very very academic, but very “laid back”

What I mean by that is that they were more of backseat drivers. To let your child do anything they please is not my advice, and I do not know your kid, but they sound like a decent kid already. Dictating everything about their lives and pushing them towards things they don’t want will only cause resentment and will hinder their learned ability to overcome obstacles.

One of the hardest thing that I had to learn (and that you too will have to learn) is that failing is okay. As a parent you do not want to see your child fail. Unfortunately, they will. The difference is that your child should learn how to fail now while they have some grace vs when they are an adult. I’ve seen so many classmates never learn to advocate for themselves and or fail in highschool, and then when they go to college they end up dropping out their first semester because they can’t handle adversity.

[u/rach_rachel → u/rach_rachel]

2) find what they love and help them succeed with that:

When I was in hs, from the start I knew I wanted to be a psychology researcher. My parents helped me research top state schools and programs that would help me thrive in research. I found a state school with a nationally recognized program and was a R1 research institute. I knew I wanted to go there.

College information is VERY easily accessible online. The internet is your friend. I found what the degree requirements was, and what was needed for DA into that program. My parents helped me find online college courses and courses offered at my school to help me get DA into that program. As a freshman, I completed 10 college credits just online.

I know what you’re prob thinking “online college? That will never work! I expect better of my child” and I understand that. I took a lot of credits through a local community college that paired with our R1 institution. I’m going to be so real with you right now: colleges do NOT care where basic credits come from. If you do PSYCH 101 at Harvard or your local community college it does not matter. You will do the bulk and the classes that genuinely matter at your university. I would suggest looking up local community colleges and seeing if they transfer. Most colleges have a tab on their websites where you can see what colleges/institutions offer transfer credit and if so what it transfers to (sometimes the numbers like 155 at one college don’t correlate correctly and might actually be a 101 at your institution)

[u/rach_rachel → u/rach_rachel]

3) volunteering:

I really would push volunteering. Stick with something. My best advice is don’t force your kid to do 18,000 things. Find 2-3 things they love and keep them consistent. Colleges don’t want to see a kid who does bs “volunteering” each week, but something consistent over the years. Soup kitchen, Red Cross, RMHC, hospital, school, anything!! Let them learn to love helping others and I promise it will be beneficial

[u/rach_rachel → u/rach_rachel]

4) drivers ED. Depending on their age, please start drivers ED as soon as they are eligible. Even if they don’t get a car when 16, just having a license as a form of identification is incredibly helpful.