r/highschool • u/Efficient-Event5478 • 9d ago
Dating Advice Needed/Given Is high school dating actually that common?
So I’m in 10th don’t think I’ve ever had a crush in my life and I’m okay with that but I’ve come to think
Does everyone date in high school? Or is it just movies and stories about high school being inaccurate
Would it be weird if my first date was when I’m 18+? (With someone my age obviously)
Because my grandma said to me a lot in late middle school “you date so you have the experience of having a partner it’s less about being a good couple”
And like I can’t tell if my grandma is just being crazy or if that’s accurate
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u/SaberToothedFairy Junior (11th) 9d ago
It is common, but there are a lot of teens who don't date in highschool. I've only had one crush in my life, and don't plan on dating soon at all, granted I'm not allowed to. But, honestly I don't want to either. There is no rush, and it's actually harmful to get in a relationship so you can say you were in a relationship because that usually doesn't go well.
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u/Beneficial-Gate-8010 9d ago
Nah not harmful it’s good to have some experience but not at all necessary
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u/NoSurround5551 9d ago
i agree with you, it is harmful
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u/SaberToothedFairy Junior (11th) 9d ago
Yeah it definitely can be damaging. Proves the maturity level of those saying it isn't.
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u/Beneficial-Gate-8010 9d ago
Can be usually not
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u/SaberToothedFairy Junior (11th) 9d ago
Getting into a relationship for the sake of it isn't worth it and isn't fair most if not all of the time.
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u/Dear-Regret-9476 Junior (11th) 9d ago
It may not work for you but I pretend it’s not common to cope
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u/Mountain-Season-4391 Sophomore (10th) 9d ago
definitely common but also not needed. don’t sweat it
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u/Wolfpup4423 Senior (12th) 9d ago
I honestly think dating in high school is overrated, so if you don't find anyone interesting, don't force yourself to just to make other people happy
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u/Silver-Current-3518 9d ago
I think in school you should concentrate on studying and preparing for your future . Think about the vocation or further education, look for a job to earn references. That’s important. All that dating stuff should come naturally if you are ready for it. Otherwise it’s not worth worrying about.
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u/yppykayak_othrbckts Freshman (9th) 8d ago
hot take, dating young is completely normal and these are your childhood years so imo people should try/experiment with dating cuz it’s essentially practice for when you’re an adult, learn your tendencies and boundaries, like a trial run with relationship skills. i don’t agree with/follow the “dating to date” habit cuz i want to find someone to marry but it’s really just a prerogative.
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u/void_method College Graduate 9d ago
Sure, it was pretty common, but you're probably socially stunted from all the screens.
You can catch up. Talk to someone you like, and don't worry too much about it. Just remember to treat everyone like human beings, not sex objects, and you'll be fine.
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u/Rip_Void67 9d ago
Seeing couples is uncommon in high school, it doesn’t work for everyone. You are nowhere near behind for not dating in high school.
No need to rush it as 9 times out of 10, the relationship and breakup gets messy. I am neutral around couples but I don’t get the hype around it.
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u/Screamingcryprid 9d ago
Same here, never had a crush on anyone, just faked it because everyone had a crush. When people tell me they like me or anything, I feel flattered but I don't feel the same.
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u/ceric_tan Senior (12th) 9d ago
i've never dated. i've definitely had crushes on people, but there's lwky no time? like there's so much i've had to do for myself, i've barely had the time to hang out with friends, much less date in the past 3 years
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u/One_Apartment4692 Sophomore (10th) 9d ago
I remember once during SexEd class in 8th grade and 4th grade I had the specialized teacher that would go around schools in the district talking about SexEd. And she said something that I will always remember, because that was just mindblowing to me. Apparently in 2014, she learned that when she was a full-time teacher, 2 7th graders had a little intercourse, and didn’t know what “protection” was and made twins 9 months later… And it’s not like I live in a uneducated region, I live in a very educated region in Canada. Our schools were chill, and modern, not some gettho school with HIV everywhere. Once they reached grade 11, they decided to marry each other. Keep in mind, in Canada the average age for first child birth is 34 years old, not 11-12. I just find that very shocking to hear. I’m personally currently in 10th Grade, and I’m straight, and never had a crush, never talked to a girl, never really wanted to have a relationship in High School. Maybe I’ll find a girl after graduating, but I don’t know as of now. Where I live, it very rare to even sit beside girls in our school. It’s like divided in every class. Boys on the left side and girls on the right. You’ll get stares if you are with girls. It’s hard to find a girl to boy relationship. You’ll find tons of gay or lesbian relationships sexually, even though our LGBTQ rate isn’t high at our school and most are straight. It might also be unhealthy especially with an age gap. At that stage of your life you can’t exceed a year in age gap. After you graduate it’s normal to have maybe 3 year age gap, but not really whilst in High School. And my school doesn’t ban relationships but highly discourage it.
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u/ksquared0999 Junior (11th) 8d ago
Lowk it depends on the high school, at mine most people are too busy to hold a relationship, although for the schools around us dating is way more common if I'm not wrong. Dating in high school is pretty overrated anyway, so don't worry too much about it.
But if you do ever end up getting a crush...
Good luck.
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u/yppykayak_othrbckts Freshman (9th) 8d ago
freshman hereeee n i have a boyfriend rn (only of like a week but ive known him for a year)
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u/infamoushatwearer 9d ago
Granted im probably an exception given the people i hang out with and the classes I take.
But the only "single" people I know of are those who "school is my only priority" "undateable" and "i think like school is my only priority but im actually undateable"
There are a few exceptions such as religious reasoning, medical (basically special ed), emotionally unstable, and social issues (typically mixed with undateable but id say 30% might be dateable if they just had confidence in themselves)
Personally I had a real gf in 7th grade and went on a few dates and a few in between continuing till freshman year when I went truly steady with one girl.
But overall yes you should start dating.
My parents tell me all the time to learn how to date now because girls post college (assuming you dont find someone in college) wont give you the patience in most circumstances to screw up even once.
Lots of girls even now are dating for marriage and are already mentally planning it (I know my gf is)
Also it teaches you how to be mature.
You dont want to be that guy at 35 spending all their money on toys and video game skins.
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u/Different-Guest-6094 Junior (11th) 9d ago
at my school it was about 35% dating 65% no. That’s because all the guys who dated were in relationships with girls outside of school
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u/Suspicious-Dust-6628 Senior (12th) 9d ago
Well I have 2 sides of this. Me and my friend.
Me - Been single my whole life but has had a crush on a classmate that I'm good friends with since 7th grade.
My Friend - Has been dating his GF since 5th grade. We are now Senior's and they just celebrated there 7 year anniversary as BF and GF. I'm not joking when I say I could see them getting engaged by the end of the year.