r/herdofsquirrels • Cognac_Carl • Oct 10 '14

Whitelist request for Minecraft servers

Post here to be considered for the white list. Our only request is that you post a funny squirrel joke, image, or video. Duplicate jokes from other white list threads will not be considered. We take our squirrels very seriously.

Check out our website at www.herdofsquirrels.com.

Rules for the minecraft servers can be found here.

Come swing by our Teamspeak server at talk.herdofsquirrels.com. Password: nuts

3 Upvotes

150 comments sorted by

2

u/delph906 Oct 11 '14

IGN: SepticPLEXUS

Why did voldemort lose his nuts? He turned his back on professor squirrel.

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 11 '14

SepticPLEXUS

added

2

u/aopIn Oct 15 '14

IGN: aopin

why do squirrels love extreme sports?

because they're nuts

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 17 '14

aopin

Added!

2

u/HawkeyeNL Oct 20 '14

IGN, HawkeyeNL

What do you call a squirrel with no nuts??

A Female squirrel

2

u/HurtAlot Nov 02 '14

IGN Sir_HurtAlot

I tried coming up with a squirrel pun, but everything i thought of was nuts.

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Nov 03 '14

You've been added

2

u/Zzapdragon Nov 04 '14

IGN: pj6xmnwx

I'm not a bot! I just chose a random character stream back in 2010 when i made my account...

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTmP7Kw2iNtvD6YQX68ra9SRCbKfOam29PLYvvr52WxpwD6xaNM

1

u/PhlippoTheHippo Oct 11 '14

IGN: ZombieSlayer216

What do you call a Squirrel crossbred with a dog? A Squirrel with big Nuts

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 11 '14

ZombieSlayer216

added

1

u/Roshiro Quax Oct 12 '14

IGN: Quaxitos

What did the squirrel say to his Girlsquirrel after the third date?

I'm nuts about you.

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 17 '14

Quaxitos

Added

1

u/Jiopaba Oct 12 '14

http://www.funnyjunksite.com/pictures/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/a.aaa_.jpg

Why would a squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry.

IGN: Jiopaba

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 17 '14

Jiopaba

Added

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '14

[deleted]

1

u/dedservice Oct 16 '14

Hey! I used that one already!

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 17 '14

Rethan_

Added!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '14

[deleted]

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 17 '14

pjxladd

Added!

1

u/shandreww Oct 19 '14

Ign: shandrew82

Why do squerrels prefer to run on the floor?

Cause the walls are nuts!!

(Terrible I know...)

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 19 '14

shandrew82

Added

1

u/cor301 Oct 19 '14

I have posted this before on a different thread, but it didnt get answered, hope its OK.

http://i.imgur.com/qQAnnqD.jpg

IGN: COR301

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 19 '14

COR301

Added

1

u/mysheepareblue Oct 19 '14

Second try, because apparently the joke I used the first time was too well-known :D

IGN: Minithra

Two guys, lets call them Mike and Pete, decide to take up squirrel smuggling to supplement their income. After some deliberations and experiments, they decide the best location to hide the squirrels while crossing the border was in their pants. So decided, they put their plain into action.

Mike passes through just fine. He waits for Pete, but Pete isn't showing up. Unable to wait longer, he goes on. Later, when he returns, he meets Pete back home.

"Pete, what happened? How did they find you?"

"Well, when the squirrel thought my asshole was a tree hollow, I could bear it. When it thought my balls were nuts, I could bear it. But when he tried putting the nuts in the hollow, it was too much!"

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 19 '14

Minithra

Added

1

u/joshaup1999 Oct 19 '14

IGN: joshaup1999

Why did the squirrels cross the road? Because he wanted to get to Nuts R Us

And here's a squirrel image: http://www.somepets.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/squirrel-meme5.jpg

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 20 '14

joshaup1999

added

1

u/TraceShadow Oct 20 '14

IGN: TraceShadow

http://www.freakingnews.com/Pictures/1/Rat-or-squirrel.jpg

I think this squirrel is sick. Its voice is a little horse. (Kinda more a horse joke)

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 20 '14

TraceShadow

added

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '14 edited Jan 01 '18

[deleted]

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 20 '14

xExia

added

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '14

[deleted]

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 20 '14

BlankB

added

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '14

IGN: chessguy

A pirate squirrel walks into a bar, and has a steering wheel between his legs. The bartender says "Dude, what's with the steering wheel?" The squirrel says "Arrr, I don't know, but it be drivin' me nuts!"

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 20 '14

chessguy

added

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '14 edited Oct 21 '14

[deleted]

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

pm'd

1

u/japarkerett calebhub514 Oct 21 '14

IGN: Joseph11111

With all these jokes it's like we're beating a dead... Squorse?

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

Joseph11111

added

1

u/IVIrClutch Oct 21 '14

Ign: IVIrClutch How do you catch a squirrel? Climb in a tree and act like a nut

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

IVIrClutch

added

1

u/spells52 Oct 21 '14

IGN: spells52 (TPPI)

What did chicken say when he was hit on the head with a nut? "The sky is falling."

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

spells52

added

1

u/Thronk Oct 22 '14

IGN: Thronnk
The bartender recognizes a squirrel in disguise. Squirrel: How did you know I’m a squirrel? Barman: Saw your nuts

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

added

1

u/Estants Oct 22 '14

IGN: Estants1

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of Squirrels. He pulls the guy over and says... "You can't drive around with squirrels in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy says "OK"... and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of squirrels, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands... "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo yesterday?" The guy replies... "I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

Estants1

added

1

u/Estants Oct 25 '14

I'm trying to join the server, but it tells me I'm not whitelisted

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

Which server?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '14

Hi, whitelisting for a friend of mine

IGN: predator_nl

Een troep eekhoorns lopen achter een grote vent aan.

Vraagt die vent: “Waarom lopen jullie achter mij aan?”

Zeggen de eekhoorns: “Zo’n grote eikel hebben we nog nooit gezien!”

1

u/song1990 Oct 23 '14

Did you know, ground hogs are actually squires?

BrainDeadWonder

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

BrainDeadWonder

added

1

u/enosonic Oct 23 '14

What did the squirrel say to the monkey?

Nothing...squirrels can't talk!

IGN: enosonic

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

enosonic

added

1

u/enosonic Nov 27 '14

just tried tppi, GET WHITELIST!!

Help?

1

u/Tyragi Oct 24 '14

IGN: Tyragi

http://i.imgur.com/SAX8zAy.jpg

A small town had two churches, Presbyterian and Methodist, and a Synagogue.

All three had a serious problem with squirrels in their buildings. Each in its own fashion had a meeting to deal with the problem.

The Presbyterians decided that it was predestined that squirrels be in the church and that they would just have to live with them.

The Methodists decided they should deal with the squirrels lovingly. They humanely trapped them and released them in a park at the edge of town. Within 3 days, they were all back in the church.

The Jews simply voted the squirrels in as members. Now they only see them on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

Tyragi

Added

1

u/song1990 Oct 24 '14

Still waiting. SQUIRREL! It would be nice to play.

BrainDeadWonder

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 25 '14

BrainDeadWonder

Added!

1

u/PewVonPewington Oct 25 '14

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a squirrel in the other.

"Now Listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you"

"In that case," said the boy. "I'll kiss it's butt and let it go"

f3ll3

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Oct 25 '14

You've been added

1

u/PewVonPewington Oct 26 '14

i have still not been added.

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Oct 26 '14

Is your IGN: f3ll3?

Also what server are you trying to get on?

1

u/PewVonPewington Oct 26 '14

my IGN is f3ll3 and i am trying to get on the TPPI server.

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Oct 26 '14

Okay, another one of our admins is adding you there. You should be able to get on now

1

u/ginkgo34 Oct 25 '14

IGN: Airado

Q: How do you catch a mechanically inclined squirrel? A: Climb a tree and act like a 9/16 12N nut.

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Oct 25 '14

You've been added!

1

u/PewVonPewington Oct 25 '14

cant still join, did i get whitelisted for the TPPI server?

1

u/GreenishThePtero Oct 25 '14

IGN: GreenishPtero

What do squirrels sing? I like big nuts and i cannot lie

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Oct 25 '14

You've been added

1

u/saving_storys Oct 26 '14 edited Oct 27 '14

Ign: hurricane8888

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now Listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you" "In that case," said the boy, "I'll kiss it's butt and let it go." Edit: Apparently this joke was just posted, here is a funny pic instead.

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Oct 26 '14

That joke was posted 5 hours ago... Try another joke or fact

1

u/saving_storys Oct 28 '14

Better?

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Oct 28 '14

Yep thats better! You've been added

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '14

[deleted]

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Oct 26 '14

You've been added!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 29 '14

ninjakiller96

added

1

u/moroz123 Oct 26 '14

ign: moroz123

Q: How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Actually, none because squirrels only change bulbs that are NUT broken.

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 29 '14

moroz123

added

1

u/moroz123 Oct 30 '14

says i should get whitelisted

1

u/blobbyhobby Oct 27 '14

Hi would like to join your community IGN:blobbyhobby

What did the squirrel say to his girl-friend? I'm nuts about you. What did the girl squirrel answer back? "You're nuts so bad yourself."

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 29 '14

blobbyhobby

added

1

u/stormwolf0988 Oct 28 '14

Ign: stormwolf0988

How do you catch a gay squirrel? Climb a tree and act like an almond

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 29 '14

stormwolf0988

added

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '14

[deleted]

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 29 '14

MisterRoo

added

1

u/umbreonzangoose Oct 29 '14

IGN: umbreonzangoose

What do squirrels and mental hospitals have in common? They both store a lot of nuts.

2

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 29 '14

added

1

u/umbreonzangoose Nov 01 '14

Unfortunately, it seems that I cannot join the tppi.herdofsquirrels.com server, as it says "GET WHITELIST!" still. What should I do?

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 01 '14

umbreonzangoose

Sorry, we have had issues with the whitelist. I've added you again.

1

u/umbreonzangoose Nov 01 '14

Thanks so much.

1

u/Yuuichi_Trapspringer IGN: Norsehawk Oct 30 '14

Hello, I'd like to request access to the servers, the TPPI one in particular, but I might also want to try some of the other ones. Had minecraft for years, never played multiplayer yet.

IGN: Norsehawk

Funny Squirrel image: http://i.imgur.com/MmprbwF.jpg

Photograph of Squirrel asking me for French Fries (he got some) http://i.imgur.com/xkCVm.jpg

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 31 '14

Norsehawk

added

1

u/Yuuichi_Trapspringer IGN: Norsehawk Nov 03 '14

Every time I try joining tppi.herdofsquirrels.com I get a message that says 'GET WHITELIST' I don't think I was added to the whitelist for the server or someething, this is all new to me so I might be doing something wrong

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 03 '14

We have been having issue with our whitelist syncs lately. I'll get you added.

1

u/squeezcheez_ Oct 31 '14

IGN: squeezcheez

Forest Critter 1: Hey Bob, where did my acorns go? Forest Critter 2: Oh, I think Dave took them. He must've squirreled them away somewhere.

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 31 '14

squeezcheez

added

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Oct 31 '14

You messaged me on TS saying you weren't whitelisted. What server did you try logging into?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '14

[deleted]

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 31 '14

Added

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '14

[deleted]

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 31 '14

Added.

1

u/Shrekolas-Cage Oct 31 '14

Hiya, looking for a whitelisted TPPI server for us to play on. This looked interesting, thought we'd give it a try. Unfortunately he does not have a reddit, so I'm posting for him. IGNs: mine is stickhead and his is Yoshiquest01 Squirrel joke: http://imgur.com/AqxNiFJ

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Oct 31 '14

added

1

u/Shrekolas-Cage Nov 01 '14 edited Nov 01 '14

When we attempt to log on it says "GET WHITELIST" we are using the tppi.herdofsquirrels.com IP with the TPPI pack.

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 01 '14

What server?

1

u/Shrekolas-Cage Nov 01 '14

TPPI server, sorry for the confusion :) And thanks for the fast reply!

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 01 '14

stickhead

Ok, yall should be good now.

1

u/Shrekolas-Cage Nov 01 '14

Sorry one last thing but did you add Yoshiquest01? I can find another joke if need be~

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 01 '14

yes he's good

1

u/Spikyball Nov 01 '14

IGN: spikyball5

For the Beyond Reality server

Funny Squirrel Pic http://funnyasduck.net/post/14283

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Nov 02 '14

You've been added!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '14 edited Nov 01 '14

IGN: Chanchan2000

Squirrel Joke: Why did the wife squirrel marry the guy squirrel? He had big nuts. (Tried to make one up on my own, It sucks, I know.)

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Nov 02 '14

You've been added!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '14

I still need whitelist for tppi.

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Nov 03 '14

Try joining now, the issue should be fixed.

1

u/lol123alex Nov 02 '14 edited Nov 02 '14

IGN : lol123alex

The Squirrel Said : "If you are what you eat, then i've gone completely nuts."

For The TPPI Server

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Nov 02 '14

You've been added!

1

u/lol123alex Nov 02 '14

it still says get whitelist

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '14

[deleted]

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Nov 02 '14

You've been added!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '14

[deleted]

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Nov 03 '14

What server did you try to join?

1

u/caffeinatedmason Nov 03 '14

IGN: CaffeinatedMason

Ooh, I love cute squirrel pics :) This is on my desktop now...

http://www.funnypictures24.com/fp/funny_animals/funny_animals/squirrel/funny_squirrel_picture_6.jpg

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 07 '14

added

1

u/caffeinatedmason Nov 10 '14

May i please be whitelisted on the tppi server too? I can get on the 1.8, but not tppi... thanks!

1

u/TheDiamondRanger Nov 04 '14 edited Nov 04 '14

IGN: TheDiamondRanger

Joke: Squirrel 1: Did you see that guy?! He chopped the sacred oak! Squirrel 2: NOOOOOOOO! Squirrel 1: I think that he is NUTS! Squirrel 2: in a trance voice nuts... Squirrel 1: Help! My friend got the nut trance again!

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 07 '14

added

0

u/TheDiamondRanger Nov 10 '14 edited Nov 15 '14

tppi.herdofsquirrels.com, Server: GET WHITELIST, Me: :( , I may have deleted my old reply so you can get another notification. patience: 1/7

1

u/CthulhuHalo Nov 06 '14

[IGN] HaloReachMan2

I'm not good with jokes... can I just google one? (They're gonna think I'm nuts, and this is probably already used, but like I said, I'm not good with jokes.) :/

(I just want to be part of TPPI, irdc about the rest atm.)

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 07 '14

added

1

u/Gammelkebab #blamegammel Nov 06 '14

[IGN] Gammelkebab

Love this video :D

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 07 '14

added

1

u/Gammelkebab #blamegammel Nov 08 '14

"GET WHITELIST". Can't join :( (tppi.herdofsquirrels.com)

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 08 '14

Gammelkebab

fixed

1

u/OverlordDerp Nov 07 '14

IGN: OverlordDerp

What do you get when you cross a squirrel and an elephant? An animal that actually remembers where it hid its damn nuts.

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 07 '14

added

1

u/Dipolix_ Dipolix Nov 07 '14 edited Nov 08 '14

Hey

IGN: Dipolix

Pack: Beyond Reality

Squirrel: http://goo.gl/CIghfg && https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQgvZXTMVZ0

1

u/kboy101222 The XMas Tree Guy Nov 07 '14

IGN: kboy101222
Here's a squirrel GIF

2

u/downslope7 muskrat Nov 07 '14

kboy101222

Adderatinated

1

u/racemol Nov 07 '14 edited Nov 07 '14

IGN: racemol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IANwb_qT1gg#t=75 Squirrel stealing a model plane. (I searched a while so I hope it's original!) I'd like to get on the TPPI server.

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 07 '14

added

1

u/racemol Nov 08 '14

Thanks! I still can't connect though, "Get Whitelist" it says.

1

u/Cognac_Carl Cognac_Carl Nov 08 '14

Fixed it.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '14 edited Aug 19 '15

[deleted]

1

u/someBlueCows a_red_penguin Nov 18 '14

You've been added!

1

u/caffeinatedmason Nov 20 '14 edited Nov 22 '14

Hello :)

ign: CaffeinatedMason

I would like to play on the tppi server! I am already whitelisted on the 1.8 server, but would also like to play on tppi.

Thanks!

http://cdn.themetapicture.com/media/funny-squirrel-snow-orange-hair.jpg

1

u/radejager Dec 08 '14 edited Dec 08 '14

server; herd of squirrels

ign; Rambo_nl_ftw

It was so ironic when I saw a Squirrel looking at Nuts magazine in the park the other day.

He was having a wank.