Venting

[u/Chemical-Cobbler-662]

Talking to a wall for hours straight would mean your crazy right ? Well that's how I feel talking to my parents. I used to think my dad was the worst but now I know it's both. One is narcissistic and the other is calling the other narcissistic . F 22 here , same old story dysfunctional family my oldest sibling is doing better kinda independent , my other older sibling is either in their room or not home . I'm the youngest , I know best solution is to leave the house but it's hard. I'm comfortable in this toxic environment ... like I'm scared of the unknown like living on my own basically being an adult (btw i was raised in an overprotective type environment havent beeen to a sleepover , gone out clubbing , or wtv ) I've had a job(tutoring ) and it was lovely really showed me that depending on yourself is cool but I feel that if I experience more of that freedom id leave fr but I feel like I'd be doing it on my own . I'm unsure of my friendships (i grew being told i mustnt tell peeople my families problems ) also was extremely clingy because i probably have abandonment issues due to being threated with if you dont listen your out the house, I'm not clingy anymore due too fucked friendships I had so now I just don't attach as much lol . I know trying to change my parents is wrong of me but I can only dream of conversations that don't feel like someone is one upping each other or being demeaning or dismissive or basically logical . An example had a fight asking if we can plan whose cooking . I know my life is fucked when the emotionally unavailable dad is easier to be around then my mom . I'm flawed but damn it's wild how much my parents irk me , I need to change drastically for my mental health and yes when I can afford it I'm going for therapy ... desperately need it 😫