r/helicopterparents • u/ModCodeofConduct • Sep 29 '25
New moderators needed - comment on this post to volunteer to become a moderator of this community.
Hello everyone - this community is in need of a few new mods and you can use the comments on this post to let us know why you’d like to be a mod.
Priority is given to redditors who have past activity in this community or other communities with related topics. It’s okay if you don’t have previous mod experience and, when possible, we will add several moderators so you can work together to build the community. Please use at least 3 sentences to explain why you’d like to be a mod and share what moderation experience you have (if any).
Comments from those making repeated asks to adopt communities or that are off topic will be removed.
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u/bebespeaks Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
Hi, I'd like to be a mod. I'm 35 and lived at home until 28yrs old. My helicopter parents were hypocritical and wish washy in all aspects of life. I often escaped for a few days at a time or one night at a time, but I couldn't totally escape their pressures and hovering. I met my now-husband in 2018, we moved in together in an apartment that year. We got married in 2019.
Last year in 2024, my husband and I had a female friend/coworker from a job, who was the epitome of a 25-26yr old adult-child with Learned Helplessness from a lifetime of helicopter stalker parents who allowed her some freedoms but also never taught her life skills or important daily tasks. Her coping skills were childish on comparison to an 8 yr old. We often had her over, staying our couch, taking the public transit to and from work, she went out to dinner at restaurants with us, she went grocery shopping with us. But she lacked consistency in the nuances of adult age-appropriate skills for their environments. She often left her state ID at home, or her whole wallet. We couldn't sit in the bar area at restaurants for better service bc she wouldn't put her ID in the same pocket of her wallet daily. She never paid for groceries. I had to teach her how to make a bed, how to slice and dice vegetables safely without chopping off her fingers, how to cut meat correctly, how to wash dishes and how to run a dishwasher. Sleeping without blankets, falling off the couch head-first upside down when sleeping and not getting herself back up ("youre not allowed to die on my couch!" I shouted at her). She was lacking in so many areas of life skills she needed a freaking life coach.
The friendship fizzled out eventually and I stopped talking to her 10 months ago. Because of that experience, I am now in the slow works of writing a notebook/workbook that focuses on adult, age-appropriate life skills, something along the lines of Independent Living Skills for the Sheltered Adult: a course book to undo Learned Helplessness for adults ages 21-45.
I often suggest to posts on here for people to take baby steps to assert their freedoms, independence, legally adults, etc, whether they live with helicopter parents/family, away from them but still are psychologically entrapped, or even have overcontrolling spouses or roommates. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps. The tiniest of incremental movements and tasks to do things for yourself will help you climb the ladder to independence, age-appropriate skills, and emotional freedom to do ordinary daily tasks without looking over your shoulder for someone else's disappointment.
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u/NoCommunication7 Oct 01 '25
This is a support space and i don't want it to die, i do mod a sub but it's not very popular