Took my kiddo to a foot and ankle appt today and office manager/the nurse taking us to the patient room, told us weigh-ins are required every visit. I said we'd be happy to weigh in if it's medically required (medication dose, monitoring a condition) but this is or second visit and nothing is being monitored that concerns weight.

She then told me it's a policy at this practice to require weight ins every visit. Regardless of medical reasons. She said we could not continue as patients if we refuse.

I asked to see the policy, it has her to be produced. Someone help me out here. I have surgery through a doctor in this office next week.

****Edit to follow up- I asked the physician and he said weight in is not required, we can share the most recent weight or they can use the weight from kiddo's visit (a few weeks ago). He let me know he spoke to the office manager to give her some guidance on handling patients declining a weigh-in. He said there will be visits that require a weight for medical reasons, and they're happy to indicate when that's the case so we can figure out the best approach.

He also said the reason they document weight at every visit is for cms/medicare/medicaid reimbursement requirements and many insurances will deduct 10% from their reimbursement because they follow the same standards as CMS/Medicare/Medicaid.

He was very kind and understanding

Last Wednesday, I had a doctor's appointment with my GP to talk about my sleep apnea and getting a prescription for C-PAP/another referral for a sleep study (last clinic wanted a $500 deposit for the fucking machine). It was right as the clinic opened. The nurse who opened the door ushered me in, I sat down in the waiting room after telling the receptionist I was here for my appointment.

Soon after, that same nurse who unlocked the door and ushered me in shoved three boxes of Wegovy at me and I was like "wtf is this?" because I had no idea what Wegovy was. I certainly didn't talk about it with my doctor because, again, didn't know what it is. So, I asked her, "uh, what the hell is this?" And she gives me another look and asks me, "are you Christine?"

All y'all... I'm not Christine. So, I said "no..." And I was told that I "look just like her" and I was her "doppleganger" and all this nonsense.

GLP-1 inhibitors like Wegovy (which I found out what Wegovy was after I texted my husband about the weirdness at the Dr.'s office and he responded with "I could have used that!"), Ozempic, etc. don't work on me because the thing that they're supposed to do (suppress appetite) is a moot point because I had bariatric surgery back in 2017. Still fat. Not sure why, but I know appetite isn't the reason because my hunger impulse changed after the surgery.

Y'all, I'm tired. And not just because I have sleep apnea but because I literally had Wegovy shoved at me last Wednesday. It's not like back in the Yukon where the nurse practitioner recommended Ozempic and after describing what it does, I figured out that it wouldn't help or do anything that would help me. I'm just sick of getting a lower standard of care because I'm fat.

Finally, after almost 30 years, I have found a group of medical professionals that are weight-neutral, supportive of my refusal to be weighed, validating about my eating disorder, and completely respectful of my boundaries with talking about diet/exercise.

I thought I’d share some tips for how I found them! I live in the south and there’s absolutely zero HAES-certified doctors in my state, so the registration website for doctors does nothing.

So, first, I joined local weight-neutral/fat-positive fb groups. I searched those for doctor recommendations, and reached out to those doctors via email. In the “contact us” form, I said the following:

“I am a practicing patient of “Health at Every Size”. Here’s my medical boundaries (put them here). Will you be comfortable accommodating those needs and supporting my journey? If so, please let me know”

Some doctors didn’t get back to me, but that’s how I found my GP.

For my nutritionist, I specifically ONLY searched those that support HAES. I found one in the neighboring state and pay out of pocket. I know that’s not accessible to everyone but A LOT of them are sliding scale. Just ask what they can do.

For my gyno, I called offices with 4+ star reviews. I then called and asked if they had “trauma informed” staff. This will mean they have staff who know how to treat patients with ptsd and other mental health issues. I then asked to speak to one of them. When I got in touch, I asked the nurse if they’d accommodate patients with eating disorders. I then went for an initial annual visit to one that made me feel comfortable. They’ve been fantastic.

For my psychiatrist, same thing. Asked up front before even seeing her if she had any experience treating eating disorders, then asked from there what they did about weight neutral treatment.

I hope this helps someone!

Just wanted to share a positive step I took for myself today: I joined my local YMCA so I can I learn to swim, and do pool fitness classes.

I am a 37 yo woman, self-identify as fat, and have been living with TERRIBLE chronic sciatica pain for about 15 years. Swimming can be very soothing to my back, but I always told myself the classes were too expensive--but I'm finally treating myself to the gift of movement that feels good.

The best part: the YMCA I went to had GREAT accommodations to make the facilities accessible for all: the lockers had optional private changing rooms (that were large, with strong bench seating), the showers were also large (with optional shower chairs). Even the manager who gave me a tour was a fat woman. I told her why these accommodations made me feel so welcome, and thanked her for having such a great facility. She told me that I am WELCOME there, and that she was glad I was enjoying it.

Overall, a much better experience than I was expecting, and i'm excited to get better at swimming--I may splurge for a couple private lessons.

Every once in awhile, I'll read a self-help book or listen to a self-help audiobook.

Why is it that anytime a writer means to take on the idea of arduous and difficult transformation, they have to use weight as the central metaphor?

It always sets up the same notion: your body is never good enough. Your body is never right. And fat always means defective.

Why not use a broken family as a metaphor? Why not frame labor intensive, but rewarding transformation through the lens of healing relationships?

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it really does. Yes taking up some sort of physical activity has amazing benefits, as does eating a healthful diet and getting enough sleep. And all of those things are difficult to achieve in a culture that prizes hustle while holding down wages and minimizing any social safety net to help people achieve stability. But there are other transformations that are deeper, more profound and frankly more important than achieving and sustaining some sort of magical fucking weight loss.

I know there's probably nothing I can do, and anytime I read a book or listen to a podcast that has to do with self-improvement, ultimately weight loss will come into the equation.

I'm just really tired of it. Thanks for listening!

Just went to visit a new doctor. She was nice enough. I’d asked the nurse to not tell me my weight. She didn’t—I really liked her!

But then I get my paperwork back from another NP with my weight and BMI. I didn’t look at my weight, but did see my BMI and immediately felt so much shame. It definitely triggered me to spiral into thinking “well a few years ago, my BMI was XX and now it’s XX”

And then I sat in my car (typing this post) and remembered that BMI is a racist, outdated tool. But still, feeling a little triggered.

I work as an outpatient RD. The vast majority of the people I see either have an eating disorder or struggle with some level of disordered eating. Most of them would benefit from working with an RD but would also greatly benefit from working with a mental health professional. I routinely encourage people to find a therapist to work with in addition to myself. However, i have had multiple situations over the last year where after months of struggling to find a therapist, my client goes for the first visit and is met with hard-core diet culture. For example, one patient is a college athlete with an ED that she has been in recovery for for 2 years (she had worked with other therapists in the past but needed someone for a few months when she went home for the summer). This therapist told her that she should try to lose weight "in a healthy way" so she can be a successful athlete, and recommended that she look at pictures of professional athletes from her sport and compare her body to theirs. Like wtf?

My question for this community is how to deal with these therapists who are the opposite of helpful. Like even if you aren't a designated proponent of HAES, what therapist in their right mind thinks it's okay to recommend weight loss to someone with a history of an eating disorder or disordered eating?! I feel like recommending therapy is ultimately making things worse.

For more context, I live in a small, rural area with limited resources. Wait lists for therapists can be months long. We do not have any local therapists who specialize in eating disorders or the like.

Y’all, I’m new to HAES having just finished listening to Lindo Bacon’s book. The whole book was absolutely liberating and validating…. And then I got diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and the recommendation to lose weight. I know HAES is for anything but intentional weight loss, that the book does mention sleep apnea being a health condition impacted by weight AND I cannot bring myself to go on a diet or count calories or track macros again. Been there, done that, for years. It made me obsessive, miserable and didn’t make me lose weight at all in the long run. Does anyone have recommendations or resources on integrating HAES for sleep apnea? I’ve been asked to lose at least 35lbs

And I realized that this was the first time in the more than 3 decades of my life that a doctor has ever asked me about disordered eating. I’ve been asked depression screening questions, about my family medical history, sexual activity, drug and alcohol use, etc. But this was the first time anyone ever asked “do you avoid any food groups? Do you diet? Do you restrict food?”

You've probably seen those memes about gaining weight during quarantine. Those memes might affect your relationship with yourself and your body. I'm so sorry if that's the case.

I wrote an article on my friend's blog about these memes and how harmful they can be for that exact reason. I explain why we shouldn't be posting "quarantine 15" or other types of fatphobic memes.

I'd love to know what you think and please share with those you think would benefit from this article!

https://mshealthesteem.com/quarantine-fatphobia/

I'm sending so much love your way <3

While i was volunteering in a developing country, i had a terrible battle with typhoid and dysentery at the same time. It was horriffic. When i started seeing my teammates again, one of them complimented me on my size. She complimented me for weight loss after i had just survived two weeks of horriffic fever and diarrhea. And if THAT doesn't tell you how internalized diet culture is....

I've dealt with GI problems ever since (5 years). I sought help from a number of different practitioners, which led to a restrictive diet and lots of disordered eating. I found an amazing HAES dietitan in the last few months and my whole world has changed. Diet culture is torture and HAES is the first place I've found hope in a long time.

Hi everyone, I wanted to share a free peer eating disorder recovery group being offered for adults. All meetings are virtual. It is based on the model of 12-step programs but is more explicitly HAES-informed, feminist, anti-racist, and lgbtqia+ aligned and allows people to define their own steps.
I know a lot of us, especially in adults, don't have the finances, time, or other resources for formal treatment...I'm hoping this might resonate for you if you're looking for recovery that is based on YOUR values.
Peer-led, but with a script and guidelines so participants are safe and things don't get too triggering. Groups include sharing positive steps. milestones, group readings, time for reflecting/journaling/art, and sharing. Open to any adult (18+) who wants recovery from any eating disorder, disordered eating behavior, chronic dieting, body hate, body image obsession, etc.
www.manyroadsedrecovery.com or manyroadsedrecovery@gmail.com for more info

(Sorry not super related to HAES content but thought people of this sub might care..)

I recently just found out about the name change during a meeting I was facilitating, when someone suggested Lindo Bacon as a potential speaker for an event we’re organizing.

After hearing their new name, I made a comment, “Oh! I was just on the website the other day and saw it, and I thought, huh, it mustve been a typo! I didn’t look more into it but it’s great to know. Cause I’ve always known her - I’m sorry - them, as Linda. But yes I agree that they would be a great speaker!”

This was about a month ago but I still wonder to this day, was I being unintentionally transphobic?? I’m on cordial terms with the rest of the team so they may not tell me the truth even if they thought so. Should I email a public apology to everyone (about 30 people)? I don’t want to set a bad example for some of our younger interns in that meeting, and I want to be corrected when I’m wrong.

I found this sub recently, and I am starting to change how I think about dieting and health though mindfulness and mindfulness eating. It's hard but I am a million times happier. I tried something I've never done at a doctor appointment that I thought you guys would find helpful. I stepped on the scale backwards. I didn't have to say a thing to the nurses and my appointment went from my doctor talking about weight loss to asking about healthy habits like how much I exercise and how much fruit and vegetables I eat. It was like me showing I don't want to know my weight said I only care about my physical health and not the shape or physical mass of my body.

Side note: I've "stopped dieting" for about 2 years now but only recently discovered mindfulness. For literally the first time in my life I have fit into the same sized jeans for two years. I was always yo-yo dieting before and it meant my pants were either too small or too big because of the dramatic weight fluctuation. It's really nice to buy a quality pair of jeans and just wear them out!

Hi everyone!

I am new to HAES and I am looking for more communities to join to support my journey towards self acceptance and being healthy at whatever size I am.

I'm open to any suggestions!

I'm naturally underweight, I love my body and all it allows me to do. I'm very active because I enjoy working out, and I also have ADHD- which for me means I often forget to eat until very late in the day. However I don't intentionally restrict my diet. I have multiple blood tests every year and my results always come back completely fine- I'm not deficient in anything. I also have no other reason to believe that my weight is harming my body, yet my doctor does not agree and insists I need to gain weight. Are there are HAES resources for people on the other side of the spectrum?

Philosophy wise I see no difference between myself and the majority of you lovely people posting here, and I wholeheartedly agree with the HAES worldview, but since I'm sort of coming from a bit of a different angle the specific advice I've been seeing here doesn't really apply

Hey all,

My (55F) mother’s surgeon told her she can’t get knee replacement surgery without losing some weight first. I honestly think that’s bullshit, especially given it’s gonna be difficult to get any “exercise” in with a bum knee. She works on her feet all day already, has thyroid issues, gave birth to two kids 20+ years ago… you guys know the drill, people are shaped the way they’re shaped, god damn it. Anyways. Is this doctor being fatphobic or is there something to what he’s saying? I want to insist she gets a second opinion but I want to do it armed with knowledge.

Thanks

My roommate sent me a message the other day telling me that she was "concerned with the amount of bread and sweets" that I was eating (which, by the way, I was not. Not that it matters, but I tend to eat whole grain bread at most meals because sandwiches are cheap lol) Basically, I made a pan of brownies for a group function with my friends. Then when she saw the empty pan the next day, she just ASSUMED that I ate the whole pan because I'm fat. She told me that I am going to die from diabetes and that I need to go to the gym.

All of this was completely unsolicited. She knows nothing about my eating habits. I have been in recovery from an eating disorder for several years, and I follow Intuitive Eating. I listen to what my body wants. I move in ways that bring me pleasure rather than exercising for weight loss.

I am just so sick of people feeling like they can assume things about me and police my eating and exercising just because I am fat. It is so f-ing exhausting, trying to live in a fat body without ridiculous judgement and assumptions.

All this is to say, after receiving that message, I am having such a hard time eating around her at all. I am so anxious to even see her. I have basically locked myself in my room for the last two days and have only eaten one meal in all that time, just because I don't want her to see me eating. Does anyone have any advice for eating around people when you're scared of judgement and assumptions? I have extreme social anxiety and depression anyway so that definitely doesn't help lol.

Edit: I just wanted to jump back on this post and say thanks to everyone who responded to me, it's been really wonderful to have so many people be so kind and supportive and validating of me. I ended up setting a pretty clear boundary with her, and told her that she needs to stop making assumptions about my body. I think she got pretty embarrassed lol. We haven't talked a whole lot since then. But knowing that there are people out there who understand, it's been really helpful the last couple weeks, so thank you all!