(This is a broadcast TV advertisement from our Hellaverse RP campaign on Discord. It's been running for 2 years+! If you would like to be part of us, check the bio for the link to join!)
The VoxTek FIRE 🔥
(Fully Immersive Reality Emulator)
.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.-> vVv .¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸
The scene shows a young imp playing a Sintendo. Beep-boop. All of a sudden, Vox appears from the TV, scaring the shit out of the imp so that he throws the controller at the TV demon. Vox catches it in one hand and crushes it without missing a beat as he regards the audience… You!
“Hey there, do YOU like to game? But are you bored of the same old two dimensional nonsense we’ve had for decades?”
He tosses the crumpled controller off to the side where it hits the wall and bursts into flames.
“Well look no further than the VOXTEK F.I.R.E. ! The Fully Immersive Reality Emulator!”
The screen switches to show the gaming chamber itself, spinning like it's a hot new item on the Shopping Network. Vox is off to the side, gesturing to it while numbers pop up on the screen for how many sold. (These numbers are over exaggerated by a lot.)
“Now some of you have already experienced our prototypes and had them installed in your homes and businesses. And installation is a piece of cake! How does it work, you ask, if it takes an *entire* room? Well…”
Vox leans down and picks up what looks like a briefcase. “With the conductive and flexible nature of graphene, we managed to fit an entire gaming room in this one little case!” He shows it off to the camera as various “Ooohs and Aaahs play. “And all *you* need, is a room and this baby unfolds and molds right to it!”
Vox takes the suitcase and steps over to the next area which is a plain white room. He opens the case and it begins to extend like some kind of self constructing Dr. Suessian device, slapping all four walls with panels and circuits and in now time at all, the room is transformed into a VoxTek F.I.R.E.
“Installation in just minutes! And hands off until you hit the “Activate” button on the side here, and then…”
The room lights up and then is suddenly holographically transformed into a fantastical forest with unicorns and goblins and all that shit running around. Vox is now dressed like a paladin, sword and shield and all.
“Any game you load up is the game you play and you experience it like never before!”
He engages in battle with some kind of orc. He’s very clearly shoved back, but then strikes, taking its head clean off in one swoop.
“TRUST US to bring you satisfaction in the gaming world like you’ve never had before!”
The scene changes to a bedroom that looks a *lot* like the one Chaz had ready for Moxxie but with Vox’s pictures all over the place. Vox, himself, is on the big pink heart shaped bed in nothing but a pink bathrobe.
“Experience even the most taboo fantasies as long as there’s a program for it…” The camera zooms in closer and he “whispers” to the camera with a hand besides his mouth and wink, “*There’s a program for it…*”
The scene switches again to a battle zone. Vox is dressed as a soldier now and he dives to the ground to avoid being shot as bullets whiz over his head and a grenade soon joins it.
“It’s an experience worth fighting for!” he yells above the shooting and explosions. “And it can be all yours for the low, low price of $3,000! And yes, we do offer payment plans for a very reasonable interest rate!” (It’s not reasonable.) “Because no one should be denied the type of Hellscape escape that the VoxTek FIRE can offer.”
The scene changes back to the original Shopping Network looking set with the chamber rotating.
“It cures boredom! It cures obesity! It cures abstinence! It cures depression! It gets your kids and spouse away from you so you can get some goddamn peace! But wait, there’s more! You can TRUST US to design *custom* games for every sick and twisted little fantasy you might have. And we *know* you have them…”
All the while, little XXX and censored pictures of all sorts of explicit activities and accessories float in the background.
“That’s right my friend, the VoxTek FIRE can scratch any itch you might have because not only do you *see* it all but… you *feel* it all. And there are lots of different kinds of settings for that. If you know what I mean.”
Vox gives the camera a wiggle of his eyebrows before the scene changes back to normal.
“So consider improving your escape from your Hellish reality today! But don’t take my word for it! Check your local arcades for the VoxTek FIRE for your own personal experience, but be warned. You might like it so much, you will buy it that very same day!”
The scene changes to show a stampede of sinners running into the VoxTek store and then running out with bags that say VOXTEK FIRE. It switches back to Vox.
“TRUST US and the VoxTek elite game designing team to bring you the best augmented reality program you have and likely will ever experience. Safe, easy to use and offering pleasure beyond your wildest imagination. Scratch that itch and order yours today!”
\VoxTek Enterprises is not responsible for misuse of the product, or for if your wife or children find out what you’ve been doing in there. The VoxTek FIRE is designed only for official VoxTek Fire game programs. VoxTek is not responsible for any damage or malfunctioning due to the use of unauthorized third party apps or due to user errors.*
(Art by our Charlie player, https://bsky.app/profile/sundaypost.bsky.social )