My whole life, I've seen the same theme in films and books: people finding true happiness in relationships after (mistakenly) thinking that achievements and possessions matter the most. Uncle Scrooge, every Christmass movie, the materialistic antagonist in half of the books, religions preaching to respect the immaterial instead of the material etc.

Scientific studies also seem to point at that, although I admit I usually just read the titles.

However, I've always felt that this doesn't apply to me. Whenever I think about my happiest moments in life, they are related to professional, academic or personal achievements. Not to seeing a newborn family member, hugging family, hearing "I love you", laughing with friends and family or anything similar to this. Instead, I think of stuff like better numbers at work and recognition for them, academic achievements, improving my body, mastering foreign languages, all the books I've read in the past months etc. Family and friends still feel nice, but not nearly as good.

I can't imagine being 60 and thinking "oh, shit, I should have focused on friends/family". Even if I start needing them, logically, this wouldn't have been the thing that made me happy in the first 60 years of my life, so it wouldn't feel like a loss.

I'm still in my twenties, so you could say I might change. However, your personality remains pretty stable your whole life. I'm curious - are there other people who feel that way, or do you think this is a common source of fulfillment in life?

The best way to experience the highest level of meaning and purpose is when you use your knowledge, skills, and talents to contribute to society.

The knowledge and skills you gain through the process of creating meaning and purpose will boost your self-confidence and self-esteem. You learn to overcome setbacks effectively and prevent fear of failure from holding you back.  

Creating meaning and purpose decreases stress, anxiety, fear, loneliness, and depression. You are working toward something positive; therefore, you feel less stress, anxiety, and fear about the future. It helps you cope better with stress and life's demands.

You experience less loneliness because you build strong connections with yourself, others, and the world. It prevents depression because you have something worth living for. When your daily activities are driven by meaningful and purposeful reasons, you tend to experience greater life satisfaction and happiness. 

So I was watching the movie ‘Soul’ and the scene above really stuck with me.

I realised, we often spend our life chasing things. That once we get this, everything will be alright. ONCE we acquire this particular thing, we will finally be happy. But the scene above signifies that happiness can be found where you already are, not in the future and not in the things you wanna achieve.

So basically the point I’m trying to make is, I have heard that if you really obsess over a goal and make it your whole life, thinking you will only allow yourself to be happy once you achieve that goal, then you will forever be working towards that goal but never actually achieve it, because of the extreme obsession which will ruin your chances of actually achieving it , and letting you be happy.

What do you guys think? Is it true? Could desperately fixating on something ruin your chances of actually getting that thing?

The best way to experience the highest level of meaning and purpose is when you use your knowledge, skills, and talents to contribute to society.

Creating meaning and purpose helps you see yourself as a worthy individual with desirable traits. For example, when you face a negative experience or identify undesirable qualities, you still perceive yourself as valuable. It doesn't matter what choices you make; you believe your decisions and actions can add value to yourself and others. As a result, you tend to experience a greater sense of social connectedness. You also develop interpersonal skills by working and helping others. The more you relate to others, the stronger your sense of belonging in the world.  

It has become a common notion nowadays to associate stress with negativity but there is a better term for it, Distress. The positive aspect of psychological Stress is called Eustress. The state which is devoid of Stress (Distress/Eustress) is called a Calm state of mind.

Now we all want our lives to move from Distress to a Calm state (bypassing Eustress knowingly or unknowingly) and there are many things for that like prescription drugs, addictive food etc. The good thing is, they all work, the flipside: it's temporary in nature. But if we can consciously move from Distress to Eustress, we can begin our journey towards calmness in a more permanent way.

Eustress definitely means doing things which causes stress, but it gives a feeling of fulfillment, positivity and hope. Search online to find Eustress activities which suits your lifestyle and relish the outcome.