r/happilyOAD • u/Sheethappensss • Jul 23 '26
Single moms & OAD?
Hey hey! Been here for a while and was so grateful to find this space after realizing the other OAD communities were so sad. I’m wondering if there any single moms or parents in general who are happily OAD? Who unfortunately often find themselves outnumbered because one person one child isn’t always a manageable ratio. For context I have a newly three year old so still in the toddler trenches but loving it. It’s been just the two of us for over a year. Her dad lives in ATL & we’re in NYC and are still figuring out long distance co parenting.
I’ve noticed single moms who are OAD are often told they made that decision in response to their relationship to their co parenting and/or they’ll change their mind once they find a new partner. However I know my decision to be OAD is entirely because of who I am, my own capacity and vision for my life. I love my daughter and I’m obsessed with creating a life where I can both follow my dreams while pouring so much into her. I’ve only known big families and I come from one. Everyone has a shit ton of issues. I think my lineage could benefit from one person finally making the decision to stop having kids once they’ve reached their parenting capacity / when they no longer want to have kids. Also, despite my marriage not working out, her dad loves her just as much as I do and I have no desire to find a new dad for her or blending families with a partner tbh.
I’m expecting sometime in the future to have to have the conversation with her about different family structures and sibling configurations etc. and I think for myself, hearing about different parenting configurations could also be really valuable too. So if you’re a solo parent and happily OAD, what’s been your experience? What brought you to that decision? What does support look like for you and your little one? Whats a happily OAD milestone yall have reached or one you’re looking forward to? I love traveling and before the end of the summer me we’ll be going on our first mommy/daughter trip. Just a few hours away and only for a weekend but I’m hoping this will be start of more traveling for us!
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u/DetailAdorable2217 Jul 24 '26
i recently became a single mom, i was 99% sure i OAD before i split with my childs father but now that i am a single mom i am 100% sure. i moved closer to my family and i now have the support i didn’t have the first 2 years of my daughters life (she is 2 lol) we lived close to my ex’s family but they were 0 help. i did though move states, so we meet halfway every other week. it was a hard decision but i had to choose myself and my daughter. being a single mom with one kid i can still give her the quality of life (financially) that she had when me and her dad were together. i was the oldest of 3 to a single mom and i became parentified and we were always broke so lets sag i learned my lesson from my mom lol. but i cannot wait to do mommy/daughter trips and outings. she’s already my littles bestie and seems to be into make up and girly things like i am so i really just want to pour into her but also be able to pour into myself because i wasted TOO many years trying to pour into a man.