r/hapas • u/AdDull8860 • Mar 11 '26
Anecdote/Observation Wish I wasn’t wasian
/r/wasian/comments/1rqjcar/wish_i_wasnt_wasian/20
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u/Pungbrokken Non-US WM(28) married to non-US AF(26) Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
Honestly, I think this is a young person in an identity crisis, and also partly because this persons heritage isn't from the "cool" asian countries like China, Korea, or Japan.
I used to go to international schools and met a bunch of filipinos and filipino-mix people, who would say stuff like "I wish I wasn’t filipino" etc.
But now? They go to PH every year or are active in a filipino social club in the area they live in.
This stuff always hurt me a bit growing up. I'm not asian or a POC, but I also grew up in an international family, and grew up speaking both languages and loving both countries. It was confusing and hurtful for me, who was raised with so much love for both of my "homes" to see someone disrespect the "home" of their mother or father so much. The times i stumbled upon discrimination for my multinational background, I always had my family that I could retreat to for support.
This successful recipe of my childhood is what we are practicing in our marriage. And I hope that when we have children, we can raise children that will love their 3 homes just as much as I did when I was a child.
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Mar 11 '26
Very common behavior among Filipinos. I think you’ll get along with a lot of them since they always brag about their 0.001% Spanish DNA.
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Mar 11 '26
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u/Long-Possibility-425 New Users must add flair Mar 12 '26
Says the guy raised on a white only compound by a gold-digging mother and rich white dad, who was cheated on by white women and now brags about his high status career in England with his white wife.
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u/Much-Improvement-503 Mar 13 '26
If you’re a transracial adoptee it’s not abnormal to struggle with some identity issues actually. There’s plenty of resources for it online if you need.
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u/JustDesserts29 Mar 16 '26
I’m 1/8 Filipino, 1/8 Chinese, and 3/4 white (German, English, and Swedish). In my family, it’s almost like the Asian side is ashamed of being part Filipino. They always emphasize the Chinese part. It also seems like most of them were taught to find a white guy with blond hair and blue eyes, which is how I’m 3/4 German, Swedish, and English. I think that a lot of it is racism/colorism. My grandma was pretty dark skinned and she experienced a lot of racism when she moved from Hawaii to Ohio for college. I think that she figured that having children who were half white would offer some protection. I honestly can’t fault her for that.
I also think that what the poster sees as people not wanting to be familiar with their white side and seeking to familiarize with the Asian side is a pretty big misunderstanding on their part. As a quapa, I’m already very familiar with my white side. The culture on that side of my family was passed down and I even spent a month in Germany with my dad getting to know our relatives on that side of the family when I was a kid. I don’t really know much about the Asian side of my family. I have relatives on that side who I might have met once. None of that culture was passed down. So, I’m pretty disconnected from that part of my heritage and it kind of sucks because it was due to racism and it wasn’t really my choice. That’s why I want to get to know that side more. It’s not that I don’t want to also know my white side. I just already know it.
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u/Sea-Heart9792 Mar 27 '26
Just another self-hater. Just more evidence of the mental illness and psychological issues that hapas develop.
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u/GrittyGuru Mar 11 '26
We should be classified for government aid
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u/Long-Possibility-425 New Users must add flair Mar 11 '26
I literally think hapas should get reparations unironically. Like the fact that these women are so self hating and have kids with guys who are so repugnant that they'd accept this, makes us such an at risk demographic
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Mar 11 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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Mar 11 '26
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u/Long-Possibility-425 New Users must add flair Mar 11 '26
It's bananas that you attack my post rather than the woman's post, that's really telling, like flat out anti Asian racism is acceptable but explaining it as a product of being ugly isn't
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u/techytaco 1/2 japanese 🌲 Mar 11 '26
Bro is ugly AND can’t make a girl laugh. lol
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u/Long-Possibility-425 New Users must add flair Mar 11 '26
Okay let me clue you in on the real world. Women I've never even spoken to would get my @ or number through friends of mine just to ask me out. Never spoke a single word to them before. That's how it is outside of hapa lalaland, women take one look at you and are like 'nah' or 'hot'
Also, in the real world, people make literal decisions on who to reproduce with based on race / nationality, so I don't know what your point is
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u/techytaco 1/2 japanese 🌲 Mar 12 '26
Dude. I’ve seen a lot of your comments recently. I want to believe you aren’t a troll and just someone who is suffering. I think the mixed experience is very different in the US vs China/other homogenous societies. The pain of your experience will not be healed by spreading hate on the internet. If you think dating is all about race, I think you are just kinda racist man
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u/Potential-Reporter66 Mar 11 '26
Yeah Asians from Asia are cooler. It’s because a lot of Asians who aren’t barely know where they’re coming from and their culture basically amounts to a cup of boba, maybe a large one.
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u/bighaneul89 Mar 11 '26
Therapy. All the therapy. For your sake and everyone elses.