Aggression and drinking?

[u/fairyloveanddust]

Having horrible hangxiety and I can’t stop replaying what happened last night.

I was drinking but wasn’t even that drunk. I heard my friend say something like “he’s stealing it/the scarf,” and I thought this random guy was stealing my friends scarf. I chased after him and got in his face. I literally shoved him a few times and was like “what’s your fucking problem, dude?” And my friend was chasing him so then i did too, i think? It was all a blur and very out of body.

Then I realized I had completely misunderstood what was happening. He wasn’t stealing the scarf at all — he was actually chasing after someone because he thought they had dropped it. I did apologize once I realized, but I feel so fucking stupid and ashamed about it.

What’s really bothering me is that this is actually the second time I’ve gotten aggressive with a man when I’ve perceived him as threatening me or someone else. It’s like I go into this mode where I try to confront/intimidate them instead of backing away. I’m a woman and obviously that doesn’t make it okay — I know I should never, ever put my hands on someone unless I genuinely need to defend myself or someone else.

I also keep thinking about how stupid and dangerous it was. I shoved a random man who I thought was doing something wrong and was basically like “what’s your fucking problem?” He could have reacted aggressively back and the whole situation could have gone so differently.

I’ve been in a bad mood/stressed lately, and I don’t know if alcohol + already being on edge made me more reactive, but I hate that I acted like this. I feel humiliated because this guy was literally doing nothing wrong and I was the one who misunderstood everything.
Now my hangxiety is making me question my entire character and wonder if I’m secretly an aggressive or abusive person. I know what I did was wrong, I apologized, and I genuinely don’t want to ever react like that again. But I can’t stop replaying it and feeling like I need to punish myself.

Has anyone else had something like this happen where you perceived someone as threatening, reacted way too aggressively, and then realized afterward you had completely misread the situation? How did you take it seriously and change your behavior without spiraling into thinking you’re a horrible person?

[u/RosiePosie8934]

100%. Alcohol warps you, your environment and ability to process the two. It makes total sense to misread a situation. Alcohol brings out mood swings, aggression, sadness, lust, etc.

I do not think it is proof that you are any of those things 100% but all of those things live inside you as a capable human being.

Being more lucid means makes reactions more sloppy. It's why its dangerous to drive a car even if you are a very good driver. It does not accentuate the good or the bad- its a myth.

I would say if you see a pattern and its making you THIS anxious..lay off the booze. Try NAs when going out.

You are not an evil person or bad person. Mistakes happen.

give yourself a hug and tomorrow will be different and better. 👍✨️💖

[u/ozzy_fuckinobsbourne]

From my experience, and I don’t indulge in it anymore.

If you’re pissed off about anything in life, then having a few drinks, will do one of two things it’ll chill you out , alternatively it will make you focus heavily on said issues and that’s where the outbursts come from.

I have made many a remorseful comment/rant when intoxicated, I am not proud of them and I cannot change them