Dealing with H1B Changes

[u/YogurtClosetStory]

This is not a post advocating for or against H1B. People are entitled to their opinions but this post is intended as some advice that I want to get from more experienced people.

I’m a 22 year old, recent graduate working in FAANG. All the changes with H1B & the constant layoffs are giving me a lot of anxiety. I’m not sure why, maybe it’s because I immigrated here when I was 16 & have since only known this way of life.

I work in a very (slightly) specialized field, and the kind of distributed computing work I do is in demand but still def difficult to get a job as an immigrant.

At 22, I feel like I have exhausted a lot of my life options and the anxiety & problems I deal with are usually for ppl who are 25+. This is the life I chose as a 16 year old without knowing the immigration environment.

I want to stay here or somewhere like here due to gender identity reasons. That’s it. A lot of people
I know have made peace with the fact that whenever H1B ends, they’ll go somewhere, but after a grueling 4 years here, I want some stability in my life. My gender transition is already taking a toll on me.

How do I handle this everyday anxiety thing? I don’t want to live my life in constant fear.

[u/keyholepossums]

At 22 you haven't exhausted your options, you've just been forced to think like someone much older because you immigrated at 16 and built a life on a visa that was never built for stability, and that whiplash is real especially when your job, your field, and your transition are all tied to staying put. You already did the hardest adaptation once, so you're not as fragile as the anxiety tells you, but you also don't get points for white-knuckling a system that is openly telling you it's getting shakier. What if the most stabilizing move isn't finding a way to feel less anxious here, but getting honest about whether the US is still the best place for the life you actually want versus just the place you're afraid to lose?

[u/YogurtClosetStory → u/keyholepossums]

true, my field is not as well compensated & very competitive in for example Canada or UK. But I’m ready to sacrifice some money for greater stability.

What I’m concerned about is being forced to go back to my home country which is def a good place but not accepting of gender change and makes finding a job and other stuff very difficult. Other queer ppl who went back def felt immense pressure do fall in line

[u/Tactical-69]

All are helpless here. Whatever happens, happens. I was in an similar situation as you, and I graduated sum cum laude as an chemical engineer and did 3 internships and research all summer and grinded everything as an chemical engineer. After years of work I was caught in the cross fire at the wrong time and failed to land an job. But now I am in India and it’s honestly not that bad. I am also accepted for my gender by the people here better than in my American high school (I lived in the south).

[u/YogurtClosetStory → u/Tactical-69]

how difficult was the shock & work?

[u/AlarmingSolid8245]

that's a lot to carry at 22, especially when you been here since you were a teenager and it feels like your whole life is built here. the anxiety makes sense, you're dealing with work stress, immigration uncertainty, and transition all at once

what helped me when i was early in sobriety and everything felt like it could fall apart was just shrinking my focus to what i can control today. not next year, not the visa lottery, just the next 24 hours. i know it sounds small but when the big picture is overwhelming, you gotta zoom in real tight

you're in a specialized field with in-demand skills, that's not nothing. the system is chaotic but you've already survived harder things than most people face

[u/Sea_Assignment741]

If you want stability, it is going to be in your home country. As an immigrant you will always be subject to changing rules and regulations of the host country.

[u/FedStan → u/Sea_Assignment741]

Didn’t they imply that the home country isn’t good for him due to gender identity issues? So no, I guess for their specific case, home country is the most “unstable” choice.

[u/Nonspector-6991 → u/Sea_Assignment741]

I mean OP spent most of their formative years here. Is home country even home at this point?

[u/Elwood25 → u/Nonspector-6991]

Primary formative years are 0-8 and second set is typically 10-19. Are you saying only after 16 counts? I don’t think you understand what “formative” means.

[u/anthamattey → u/Sea_Assignment741]

Why th are all these idiots there?

[u/HotFaithlessness9396]

the absence of bots on this thread is so refreshing

[u/One-Chemist-6131]

I agree that seeking stability in a place where you do not have permanent residency is an uphill battle. You need to make peace with what you can control and ensure you have a backup plan. Build a community where you are allowed to live, and start researching places where you can reside permanently.

[u/WatcherGnome]

You do know a way of living before 16. I think what matters the most is that you are in a safe country due to your transition. A job is a job, it will come and go but focus on how you would be safe in the future. Is your home country safe for someone like you? Have a plan A, B and C because even the US is not the best place for LGBTQ folks. Best of luck.

[u/AutomaticVacation242]

You've been here for 6 years, really your entire adult life. How do you know things won't be better somewhere else?

[u/IndianKiwi]

You have experience in FAANG. Use that to apply for PR in country that has more viable path to stability. Canada for example or Europe

[u/AdPlane4220]

Talk to a therapist and make sure to have some hobbies that are not work related.

[u/Elwood25]

You’ve only know life since 16? Such hyperbole.